A few funnies

[Wag]

I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses. I had to give up drinking beer. I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.

Anyway, I gave it up, but the other day, when she came home from shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said, "Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"

She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."

I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

I don't think she'll be back....

--Wag--

 

[Wag]

Estate Planning
A woman's husband dies. He had $30,000 to his name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left. The friend says, "How can that be?" The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost was $6,500. And of course I made donation to the church ... that was $500, and I spent another $500 for the wake, food and drinks, you know. The rest went for the memorial stone. The friend says, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?"

The widow says, "Three carats."

--Wag--

 

[motorkar]

 

[AlbanianEagle]

(looking over my shoulders to see if the wife is around)
The first one was too funny and yet so true(in a quiet voice).







J/K if she saw this she would kill me and have a 3k stone herself.

 

[tonyy1]

(looking over my shoulders to see if the wife is around)
The first one was too funny and yet so true(in a quiet voice).







J/K if she saw this she would kill me and have a 3k stone herself.

+1 lol. no need to look over my shoulder since I'm at work.

 

[Wag]

Passed off as a true story. Who cares?! It's funny!

PREGNANT TURKEY STORY

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yes, SHE WAS BLONDE!

--Wag--

 

[Wag]

Nurse Picabo

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete, she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say . . . .

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Picabo, ICU.

(Nearly died laughing at this one!)

--Wag--

 

[adrenaline junkey]

 

[Jet Li]

Good stuff, Wag

 

[busa-rich]

funny stuff

 

[Wag]

Once in a while, I get some I haven't heard 500 times already!

--Wag--

 

[BA BUSA]

 

[bigdr]

Excellent..