Aaaaaaahhhhhh again.

[newman]

Lynne's away for a week so I'm on animal duty.

Things went well yesterday, I think it was because I was down the pub all day.
Got home fed the dogs and cat got a takeaway, all good.

Now to this morning I've got a bucket here which must be the worst bucket ever made.
The handle keeps falling off and the bit where you squeeze the water out of the mop keeps falling off into the bucket.
I got in a right state with it this morning.
Got water everywhere, soaked my socks and bottom of my trousers.
Lynne said it wasn't a cheap bucket, I said next time you go away I want the best bucket ever made.

Dogs are being naughty, not doing anything I say to them.
Crix nicked my jacket and drag it round the garden and got my cigarettes.
I think they conspire against me because when Lynne's at home with them alone the never play her up.

Plus Lynne keeps on moving stuff around so I can't find anything.
If she moved the fridge I'd starve.

I was sitting here thinking if I can find the super glue I'm going to glue my forehead to the the wall and get my daughter to take a photo and send it to Lynne.
I would really do it not just put my head on the wall and pretend to do it.

But as she has hidden it I won't be able to find it, can't find ordinary stuff so what chance have I got of finding the glue.

Really I love all my animals and this is only a bit of tongue in cheek ranting apart from that bloody bucket.

I'm serious about the glue though.

 

[twotonevert]

I am thinking the pub with a pint is a great place to be today.

 

[fallenarch]

She didn't hide the keys to the busa did she?

 

[VaBusa]

You're allowed to have duct tape, right newman?

 

[RedBusarider]

I think you need to post a picture of that bloody bucket.

Maybe well could all chip in and send you the best one made. Lets see shipping to England shouldn't be more than $200.00, right? or Euros? ???

Wouldn't want to see a guy glue himself to the wall because of a stupid bucket. Especially a Busa owner, because it might hurt
putting on a helmet after tearing your head away from the wall.

 

[newman]

Now three of the dogs have got bad stomachs, they was good though, woke me up three times in the night to go out to the garden.
Still didn't stop them from having accidents in the bathroom though.
I won't go through it, but lets say the bucket didn't help.

Couldn't get the microwave working at first had to phone Lynne for instructions.
It's her own fault, she won't let me do anything, says it annoys her.
I only have to get off the sofa to get the third degree about what I'm up to.
She gets right wound up if I'm trying to open something like a packet of biscuits and can't, she comes and takes things off me to open them herself.
She is lovely though she does look after me.

She don't like it when I sometimes pretend to be a Pig called Porkus Orcus and make Piggy grunts an squeals and whisper Piggy Chops in her ear and make my hands feel like trotters and poke her in the back if we have a cuddle.

I'm trying to cut down on smoking this is making it difficult.
I think it might drive me to drink later in the week.
No thinking about it it won't as Lynne has only left me £20 to spend that's only 9 pints, not enough.

She might have some duct some where, but I bet I couldn't find it.
I know where my Busa keys are I'm allowed to take care of them.

 

[dadofthree]

:tp:

 

[newman]

Found out how to use the tin opener yesterday took a few minutes trying to fit it on the tin in different ways.
It folds out by the way.

Do3 yes beer and toilet roll without the beer.