Any confident writers?

[WWJD]

I'm setting up modeling/acting/speaking audition and need to do 2 or 3 minutes of dialog. I'm opening with a comedic "Hi, I'm Troy Mclure" style into, followed by a brief operatic rendition of "Harden my Heart" and then the piece de resistance: "The Purple Crayon" which is an original I have yet to pen out. It's a solo, one sided conversation by a guy on the front lines who ends up in a foxhole next to an old lifelong buddy, Jake.

The quick plot: falls in foxhole to discover fellow one over is lifelong school buddy Jake, they laugh about silly stories from the past, joke about some women, pine about not keeping in close contact, some mortors fall near by making the principle speaker think of the mortality of life, so he confesses to his buddy that in 3rd grade HE was one the that stole his buddy's purple crayon and always felt bad about it, apologizes and asks forgiveness... but hears silence... discovers his buddy is no more, cries about it, then buckles back down to war, radioing in positions, etc. the end

So, I will be filling in the detail and some will be adlib, the goal is I can use it to act, speak, laugh, be somber, cry, serious, and mad all within 2 minutes.

I'm seeking any general advice about how to make a solo dialog work well... ANYTHING... I've never done this before, and I sure I will be fine, but if any of you have ANY experience, I'd love to hear it.

 

[jessup]

Is this for an audition? If you are planning on writing to write... Whether it is a Screenplay, Dialogue or a play... This book is helpful. Aristotle's " Poetics" It gives you the basic storytelling theories... One of the most important ones is to have a Begining... Middle and an End... It is important for people to follow the flow of a story and this helps you understand the basic principles. Keep in mind that it is a discussion on Greek Tragedies

 

[Wag]

Two or three minutes isn't very long when you're speaking.

This isn't really my genre but I'll take a shot at writing something for ya!

--Wag--

 

[WWJD]

Thanks guys. I have the concept and basic dialog, I'll have to edit it down a bunch to fit in 1.5 - 3 minutes, but I think I can pull it off. I'm just looking for some knowledgable support.

The story has a start middle and end:
- basically setup with the radio dialog: starting by "radio in" my position at the front in a fox hole - telling the audience where/why and how to set the stage

- then direct one-sided dialog introducing and with Jake [since I'm the only one there]

- more radio reporting describing the incident of incoming mortars

- dialog about the crayon and loss of a friends life and some on Q sobbing/tearing up

- ending with the cold reality of war, radioing the loss of a soldier, position and condition

I think I just made my rough draft.

If anyone knows any front line, army type lingo I could use, I don't know about that kind of stuff, I can fake that stuff pretty well. Any other input is appriciated. Thanks!



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[jessup]

Figure a minute a page...Unless you have long drawn out pauses in your dialogue.. 1 minute a page is usually a good rule of thumb... PM me what you have if yoiu want.

 

[Wag]

Here's a conceptual start. Needs work. Plenty of room to flesh things out, of course. Monologue style is something I've never played with before.

Let me know what you think.

--Wag--

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"Dude, you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Indiana . . . . Indiana . . . . Yeah! Last time I saw you was when we graduated high school! Whoa, talk about a small world!

"It's been too long, hasn't it? I completely lost track of you when I signed up. You must have signed up right after me.

"They say there's no atheists in foxholes, eh? I hope we get out of this damn trench soon. I've got a wife and kid at home praying for me to come back. You know the drill. I'm prayin' I'll get to see them again. It's the first time in a long time I've prayed, you know.

"I need to tell you something else, bro. Remember that time in second grade when your blue crayon got all broken up by someone? I've never told you before but I want to fess up that it was me who broke it to pieces. I've always felt bad about that and about how bad it hurt you then.

"Strange how it seems like such a small thing. A blue crayon. It's been a source of guilt for a long time now. I've wished more than once that I didn't do it but more, I've long wished I had told you about it.

"Can you forgive me now? It would mean a lot to me if I could just hear the words from you. Dude? Dude?

"Ah, man. I hate that you'd go like this. There was so much more we could've done. I wish . . . . I wish . . . ."

[silence]

 

[WWJD]

that's a great start there wag! I just read it but didn't time it out. That is definitely the basic idea. first the 2 minute monologue, then the short, then the 4 hour Speilberg movie

Thanks. I'l post up my end result when I get it all written. I might steal some verbage if you dont care.

 

[Busa_05]

This isn't really my thing. My compositions are mainly sixty + thousand word pop fiction and horror prose, not scripts or flash ficiton; however, you can shoot me a pm if you'd like and I'll look it over (for what little good, if any, I might do you

). Perhaps I can at least correct a SPAG error or two.

Anyway, best of luck to you!