I found an automatic complaint letter generator. It is pretty funny stuff and easy to use. Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
Complaint letters
- Thread starter klatu848
- Start date
I found an automatic complaint letter generator. It is pretty funny stuff and easy to use. Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
Thats goin in the suggestion box at work
Thats awesome! 
My complaint about Mr. Klatu
It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to knock some sense into Mr. Klatu. First things first: Unconscionable, squalid publicity hounds, almost by definition, retain an institution which, twist and turn as you like, is and remains a disgrace to humanity. More than that, Mr. Klatu supports rule by Man according to his own passions, opinions, and dictates, rather than rule by law. I, speaking as someone who is not an invidious primate, challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. He says that he can produce precisely the alienation and conflict needed to keep us perennially behind the eight ball and get away with it. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"?
It should be intuitively obvious even to the most casual observer that Mr. Klatu is absolutely versipellous. When he's among plebeians, Mr. Klatu warms the cockles of their hearts by remonstrating against materialism. But when Mr. Klatu is safely surrounded by his torchbearers, he instructs them to dispense bread and circuses to vile dipsomaniacs to entice them to bask in the insidious shine of heathenism. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that Mr. Klatu teaches workshops on mandarinism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. There is undoubtedly a coldhearted dimension to his assertions. Or, if "coldhearted" is too narrow of a term, perhaps you'd prefer "jejune". In any case, if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to free people from the spell of neopaganism that Mr. Klatu has cast over them. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Mr. Klatu's goal is to take the focus off the real issues. This is abject misoneism!
Take, for example, stroppy tyrants. Now look at Mr. Klatu. If you don't believe there's a similarity then consider that in his quest to judge people based solely on hearsay he has left no destructive scheme unutilized. It is sad to see him cause jealous subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that Mr. Klatu keeps telling us that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. Are we also supposed to believe that his ravings are Holy Writ? I didn't think so. I've left out many criticisms of Mr. Klatu from this wailing wall of a letter. Nevertheless, I believe that it's a start—a philosophical space where we can plant a new flag symbolizing all that is wrong with Mr. Klatu.
My complaint about Mr. Klatu
It's unlikely that this letter will win me many friends or even garner much attention. However, writing it is the only way I know to knock some sense into Mr. Klatu. First things first: Unconscionable, squalid publicity hounds, almost by definition, retain an institution which, twist and turn as you like, is and remains a disgrace to humanity. More than that, Mr. Klatu supports rule by Man according to his own passions, opinions, and dictates, rather than rule by law. I, speaking as someone who is not an invidious primate, challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. He says that he can produce precisely the alienation and conflict needed to keep us perennially behind the eight ball and get away with it. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"?
It should be intuitively obvious even to the most casual observer that Mr. Klatu is absolutely versipellous. When he's among plebeians, Mr. Klatu warms the cockles of their hearts by remonstrating against materialism. But when Mr. Klatu is safely surrounded by his torchbearers, he instructs them to dispense bread and circuses to vile dipsomaniacs to entice them to bask in the insidious shine of heathenism. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that Mr. Klatu teaches workshops on mandarinism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. There is undoubtedly a coldhearted dimension to his assertions. Or, if "coldhearted" is too narrow of a term, perhaps you'd prefer "jejune". In any case, if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to free people from the spell of neopaganism that Mr. Klatu has cast over them. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Mr. Klatu's goal is to take the focus off the real issues. This is abject misoneism!
Take, for example, stroppy tyrants. Now look at Mr. Klatu. If you don't believe there's a similarity then consider that in his quest to judge people based solely on hearsay he has left no destructive scheme unutilized. It is sad to see him cause jealous subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that Mr. Klatu keeps telling us that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. Are we also supposed to believe that his ravings are Holy Writ? I didn't think so. I've left out many criticisms of Mr. Klatu from this wailing wall of a letter. Nevertheless, I believe that it's a start—a philosophical space where we can plant a new flag symbolizing all that is wrong with Mr. Klatu.
My complaint about Mrs. CaBusaGirl
It has recently come to my attention that Mrs. CaBusaGirl exhibits signs of arrested development. For practical reasons, I have to confine my discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which I have something new to say. Her gofers tend to fall into the mistaken belief that anyone who disagrees with her is a potential terrorist, mainly because they live inside a CaBusaGirl-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other.
Perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of uninformed swaggerers. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that CaBusaGirl is frightened that we might take action. That's why she's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that her premise (that divine ichor flows through her veins) is her morality disguised as pretended neutrality. CaBusaGirl uses this disguised morality to support her teachings, thereby making her argument self-refuting. CaBusaGirl's primary goal is to waste natural resources. All of her other objectives are secondary to this one supreme purpose. That's why you must always remember that CaBusaGirl maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around her. There's a word for that: libel.
Although CaBusaGirl has managed to avoid indictment, or even a consensus that she did anything illegal, I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter. Granted, not everyone knows what "interdifferentiation" means, but it's nevertheless easy to understand that CaBusaGirl's skills are generally used to exploit, abuse, and exert power. Please re-read and memorize that sentence if you still believe that CaBusaGirl has a "special" perspective on cynicism that carries with it a "special" right to regiment the public mind as much as an army regiments the bodies of its soldiers. Her virtual absence of intellectual self-critique may be a source of her insistence that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever her personal interests are at stake. Of that I am certain because we must stop tiptoeing and begin marching boldly and forthrightly towards our goal, which is to give direction to a universal human development of culture, ethics, and morality. In CaBusaGirl's activities, barbarism is witting and unremitting, virulent and filthy. She revels in it, rolls in it, and uses it to destroy the lives of good, honest people. To recapitulate, none of Mrs. CaBusaGirl's "progressive" ideas have actually resulted in any progress.
Last edited:
It gave me something to do / complain about feverishly 
Thats funny stuff
Oh boy, am I going to have some fun with this....
Im breaking upDear Hayabusa.org,
I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, this is not easy for me at all, honestly. This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me, our relationship just isnt working out for me.. Don't let it get you all upset inside, It was completely your fault, no doubt about it. It is because of your history of lying problems that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.
You'd be much better off finding a person that can deal with fun way you would always ruin a romantic moment by talking about your ex. I might miss certain things about you such as the time you came to my house and stunk the bathroom up
I'm glad this is done and we're going separate directions for good. I think you'll find someone to cheat on you daily, and write a letter through text messages. And hopefully we will be incredibly far away.
Good riddance,DJSIN
oooo heres the best dictionary... 
The new Dictionary of information
and then the best place to meet singles near you....
Americas best and brightest, all in a location near you.
The new Dictionary of information
and then the best place to meet singles near you....
Americas best and brightest, all in a location near you.
Dear Hayabusa.org,
I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, this is not easy for me at all, honestly. This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me, our relationship just isnt working out for me.. Don't let it get you all upset inside, It was completely your fault, no doubt about it. It is because of your history of lying problems that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.
You'd be much better off finding a person that can deal with fun way you would always ruin a romantic moment by talking about your ex. I might miss certain things about you such as the time you came to my house and stunk the bathroom up
I'm glad this is done and we're going separate directions for good. I think you'll find someone to cheat on you daily, and write a letter through text messages. And hopefully we will be incredibly far away.
Good riddance,DJSIN
HAHAHA!!! Similar threads
