gurrera
Registered
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
family values.
>
> Bill said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
>
> Larry replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
___________________________________________
> A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my
intelligence
> come from?"
>
> The father replied. "Well, son, you must have
> got it from your mother, cause I still have mine."
> ___________________________________________
>
> "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very
> carefully," the Divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give
> your wife $775 a week,"
>
> "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said.
> "And every now and then I'll
> try to send her a few bucks myself."
> ___________________________________________
>
> A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed
> to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
> the looks of your wife at all."
>
> "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a
> great cook and really good with the kids."
> ___________________________________________
>
> An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he
> can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
>
> The Wizard says,
> "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to
> put the curse on you."
>
> The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
> ___________________________________________
>
> Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve a Redneck
> Murder:
>
> 1. The DNA all matches.
> 2. There are no dental records.
> ___________________________________________
>
> A blonde calls Delta Airlines and
> asks, "Can you
> tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York
> City?"
>
> The agent replies, "Just a minute."
>
> "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
> _________________________________________
>
> Two Mexican detectives were investigating the
> murder of Juan Gonzalez.
>
> "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
>
> "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
>
> "A golf gun! What is a golf gun?"
>
> "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
> ___________________________________________
>
> Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
>
> Joe: "Really?"
>
> Moe: "Yeah. Until
> I married her I didn't believe in
> Hell."
> ___________________________________________
>
> A man is recovering from surgery when the
> Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
>
> "I'm O. K. But I
> didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery," he
> answered.
>
> "What did he say," asked the nurse.
>
> "Oops!"
> ___________________________________________
>
> While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband
> and I passed a display of bathing suits.. It had been at least ten
> years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing
> suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
>
> "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a
> bikini or an all-in-one?"
>
> "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never
> get it all in one."
>
> He's still in intensive care.
> ___________________________________________
>
> The graveside service just barely finished, when
> there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
> lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the
> distance...
>
> The little old
> man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
Gurrera
family values.
>
> Bill said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
>
> Larry replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
___________________________________________
> A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my
intelligence
> come from?"
>
> The father replied. "Well, son, you must have
> got it from your mother, cause I still have mine."
> ___________________________________________
>
> "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very
> carefully," the Divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give
> your wife $775 a week,"
>
> "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said.
> "And every now and then I'll
> try to send her a few bucks myself."
> ___________________________________________
>
> A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed
> to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
> the looks of your wife at all."
>
> "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a
> great cook and really good with the kids."
> ___________________________________________
>
> An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he
> can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
>
> The Wizard says,
> "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to
> put the curse on you."
>
> The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
> ___________________________________________
>
> Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve a Redneck
> Murder:
>
> 1. The DNA all matches.
> 2. There are no dental records.
> ___________________________________________
>
> A blonde calls Delta Airlines and
> asks, "Can you
> tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York
> City?"
>
> The agent replies, "Just a minute."
>
> "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
> _________________________________________
>
> Two Mexican detectives were investigating the
> murder of Juan Gonzalez.
>
> "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
>
> "With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
>
> "A golf gun! What is a golf gun?"
>
> "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
> ___________________________________________
>
> Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
>
> Joe: "Really?"
>
> Moe: "Yeah. Until
> I married her I didn't believe in
> Hell."
> ___________________________________________
>
> A man is recovering from surgery when the
> Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
>
> "I'm O. K. But I
> didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery," he
> answered.
>
> "What did he say," asked the nurse.
>
> "Oops!"
> ___________________________________________
>
> While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband
> and I passed a display of bathing suits.. It had been at least ten
> years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing
> suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
>
> "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a
> bikini or an all-in-one?"
>
> "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never
> get it all in one."
>
> He's still in intensive care.
> ___________________________________________
>
> The graveside service just barely finished, when
> there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
> lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the
> distance...
>
> The little old
> man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
Gurrera
