I just reread one of your posts, please lower the hooks to their lowest position before trying to grab the spools. If you have the hooks at their highest, it will be almost impossible to lift the bike.
It might help to have a friend grab a hold of the controls at the front of the bike, and hold it straight up. Then take a moment, roll the rear stand underneath the backend to make sure that your spools, and the hooks on the stand are properly lined up and adjusted.
I'm right handed, so I stand the bike up with my left hand and hold it straight up, while I take my right hand and slide the rear stand underneath the spools. Don't be in a hurry, take your time till you're absolutely sure the hooks on the stand have grabbed the spools then push straight down steady until the rear end comes up.
You might want to practice just pushing the bike up to center, and standing it straight up with whichever hand you choose so you get the feel for it, and that it doesn't want to tip to the left or the right while you're doing the lining up of the rear stand.
While you're doing this practice exercise, also work on letting the bike back down onto the side stand gently. We don't want to just let go of the bike and let it fall onto the side stand.
Be patient, it takes some practice, but after a while it will be as natural as pulling on your helmet. It just takes takes practice.
PS While your friend is holding the front of the bike straight up, and you have a couple relaxed minutes, look down through the opening between the muffler and the swingarm on both sides, there's a little opening that you can see the hooks when you line up the hooks underneath the spools. Actually you're looking at 45° from the tail light lens to the spools. So you're looking down at 45° angle from the back of the bike toward the spools, and you'll be able to see where you're lining up the hooks on the stand with the spools on the swingarm. Don't look around the outsides of the mufflers, look between the swingarm and the muffler and you will see the spools much easier. This is looking straight down from the tail through the gap between the muffler and the swingarm.
Lastly, you're big enough. You're 220 pounds. You're slightly heavier than I am and I'm 6'2".