Some humor for today

[gurrera]

I once dated a girl with a twin and people always asked me how I could tell them apart....It was simple, Alison painted her nails red, and Bob had a beard.

Pro Tip #22: Ring your own doorbell on your way to bed. This will clear the dogs off the bed.

I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting. Anonymous my ass. I knew everyone there!!

I just asked myself if I'm crazy, and 'We all said No!'

You can do a hundred things right and someone will always point out the ONE thing you did wrong.

Being a 'little older', I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me everyday. He is from India and he is very concerned about someone scamming me and hacking into my Computer/Banking details. He is always helpful and asks for my Password to fix my problem.


I told my wife she should 'embrace her mistakes'.....She gave me a big hug.

A Genie granted me one wish, so I said "I just want to be happy". So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine. ‘Whistle while you work...'

and finally...

I took my 8 year old daughter to the office on 'take your kid to work day'. But when we walked into the office she started to cry. As concerned staff gathered around I asked her what was wrong and she said: "Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?”

And

Places to Go....

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been insane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my Favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there. Gurrera