The "MAN RULES"

[Mr Bogus]

Hijacked from an email I got......

The Man Rules*******************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down​

Finally, the guys' side of the story
(I must admit, it's pretty good)​

We always hear
'the rules'
From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side​

These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!​

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the20tides.Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it.That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in anargument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to sayduring commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows defaultsettings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NOidea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you areprepared to discuss such topics as baseballorgolf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

 

[WWJD]

Hoo hooo hooo hooo hooo hooo! Yeah!

 

[Blazing-Saddle]

Truer words have never been spoken

 

[JR'S BUSA]

Those are great !!!!!!!! Printed to give to the wife

 

[Scar]

I hope your couch is comfortable.

 

[Scipione420]

 

[KokomoBusa]

rules to live by

 

[Pinky Winky]

Love it. And beer is healthy. Its liquid bread.

 

[danath 34]

i loved this. That was great. Good laugh. Hope you dont mind that I passed it on through email to a couple friends. Just too good not to!

Have you ever watched the Red Green Show? This reminds me ALOT of that show.

 

[coop65sr]

 

[CraZyNOTRT]

1. Sometimes we just dont want to talk, dont take it personally.
2. WE notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.

3. Helpless is not cute.

4. Get to the point

5. understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So dont talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we dont hear you (honestly) or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
Exceptions to rule 5
interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if pamela Lee is on TV, or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.

6. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.

7.If you ask us "do you think she is prettier than me?" we might just say "yes", then what are you going to do?

8.For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B, its an opportunity to control a couple tons of steel. we drive, therefore , we are.

9.we dont go shopping, when we need something, we buy it.

10. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.

11. we dont believe you when you say money isnt important to you.

12.its not that we dont want to make you happy, its just that sometimes, we dont know how.

13.learn to work the toilet seat, if its up, put it down.

14. if you ask a question you dont really want an answer to, expect an answer you didnt want to hear.

15. sometimes we are not thinking about you. deal with it

16. dont ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as navel lint, shotgun formation and monster trucks.

17. sundays equal sports. Period.

18. crying is blackmail.

19. ask for what you want. Lets be clear on this, subtle hints dont work, strong hints dont work, really obvious hints dont work. just say it!

20. we're not mind readers and we never will be, our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

21. most guys own three pairs of shoes. What make you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair out of 30 would look good with your dress.

22. yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

23. a headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, see a doctor.

24. check your oil

25. anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. all comments become null and void after seven days.

26. if you wont dress like the victoria's secret girls. dont expect us to act like the soap opera guys.

27. if something we said could be taken interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

28. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both.

29. christopher columbus didnt need directions and neither do we.

30. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

31. if we ask whats wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong.

#33. We dont care what shoes go with the outfit. the ones you have on now are fine.

#34. when a man say yes, he doesnt care. when a man says no, he means NO

35. beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

 

[CraZyNOTRT]

WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE
Here's one for you:


The top six reasons computers are female.

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is
just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the
internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are
immediately committed to memory for future
reference.

3. The native language used to communicate
with other computers is incomprehensible to
everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File
Name" is about as informative as "If you don't
know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly
not going to tell you".

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one,
you find yourself spending half of your paycheck
on accessories for it.

 

[99'busa]

THAT IS SOOOO TRUe I LOVE no. 1 it's my favorite

 

[Scipione420]

THAT IS SOOOO TRUe I LOVE no. 1 it's my favorite

Me too...

 

[FastBusa]

 

[solarbarack]

Someones in trouble.

 

[solarbarack]

I didn't see this tread.

 

[Cerberus]

 

[gotgixers]

LMFAO!!!!!
That is some good stuff... I need to print this out and post it on the fridge....

 

[Fate]

Ha ha those are great!!
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