Tough time...and a PSA

[VaBusa]

Not looking for sympathy or a bunch of "I'm sorry" posts...just having a tough time this week, REALLY missing my Dad :down:

Tonight I've invited a bunch of my girlfriends over to Dad's house, to help me go through things, start that process of moving on. I go to his house, cry, sit on the sofa, cry some more, water some plants and leave. Been doing that off and on for weeks, so I'm not getting anywhere with readying his house for sale *sigh*

Anyway, time for my PSA because I finally set myself up with a dermatologist to be screened for melanoma (next week), and it will be a routine thing in my life from here on out...

For anyone that doesn't know, I lost my Dad to malignant melanoma, and OMG, there were times when I really wanted to be able to take pics and detail just what this cancer did to his body, but out of an immense respect for a very private man, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. All I will say is that he waited way too long to get a questionable 'sore' checked, and to this day it breaks my heart that had he been checked earlier, he'd be here still, planning rides and watching his grandchildren grow up. Once he was diagnosed 3.5 years ago, it was too late. Cancer invaded his lymph nodes, and he fought with all he had, more than I ever thought he would, spent a month at UVA Medical undergoing incredibly dangerous treatments and having multiple surgeries. Ironically, my severe anemia was diagnosed at the same time as Dad's cancer, and we found ourselves running in the same circles, same doctors, intimately familiar with the cancer infusion suite and nurses that knew us both, but for very different reasons. I always told my Dad I was diagnosed to help him with his treatments, and when I'd have an iron infusion, I'd pick chairs where he could come in and be next to me if our appts coincided We were each others' "dates" for colonoscopies with the same surgeon It was comical at times, but I also know all he endured because I was here helping him the entire time. I know many already know this, but for those that don't - cancer sucks in every way and it robs you and your loved ones of everything they have.

Just do yourselves a favor, and it doesn't matter what cancer may run in your family, or if there's none at all, if you EVER think something's just not quite right, DO NOT LET IT GO! It means the difference between life and death...

Thought I'd share a picture my cousin drew of my Dad and his Harley...she did this in 2 days, just 17 years old...truly amazing talent and something we can cherish in memory of my Dad. Sorry it's not clearer. I don't yet have the digital copies. The banner says "Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul" which I think we can all understand

 

[twotonevert]

I know how you feel, I miss my father as well. Some days it is heavier on my mind than others.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Here is South Florida should you need anything Michelle.

 

[newman]

I think we're all guilty of putting off going to the Doctor, I know I am.

 

[Lurch]

Gorilla arms wraped aroud you just to say Thank you and I love you.

you know how to reach me for anything you may need. It is never easy and it doesn't get easy just tolerble.

26 years later and still missed every day.

 

[Busa Jules]

Michelle I know I've been quiet for a long time. I found it almost eerie that you lost your dad almost the same day as I lost my mom to lung cancer 2 years ago.

I carried (and still do carry) a lot of anger and frustration with my mom and members of my family for their lifestyles and their seemingly fatalistic view of life. Cancer doesn't HAVE to happen.. (yes I understand there are cases where it is just DNA gone haywire ). Lung Cancer, melanoma, many more, all preventable and even curable cancers when treated in time.

Here i am 2 years later, still moving crates full of my mom's belongings from one apartment or storage unit to the next. Slowly going through things. Even more slowly getting rid of the only tangible reminders of my mom.

Michelle I pray for you to have the strength and support you need for the long journey ahead of you.

 

[GNBRETT]

I think we all take for granted our health. life is terminal from day one. no one gets out alive. were all dieing, just some sooner then others. my father had skin cancer as well but it was under his eye so I think it caused him to get it looked at sooner then later.

but reading threads like this remind me to be safe then sorry and just assume im always gonna be fine. I grew up in south florida and worry about skin cancer myself. any signs of anything unusual and im off to the doctor.

and ur right cancer is awful. my friend that I went to the police academy with is 47 yrs old and she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and has a 10 yr old daughter. she never smoked either. sometimes I question my faith when I think of stories like her and others that we lose so early yet very evil and deadly people live ripe old lives. I dont get it and never will probably.....

 

[VaBusa]

Michelle I know I've been quiet for a long time. I found it almost eerie that you lost your dad almost the same day as I lost my mom to lung cancer 2 years ago.

I carried (and still do carry) a lot of anger and frustration with my mom and members of my family for their lifestyles and their seemingly fatalistic view of life. Cancer doesn't HAVE to happen.. (yes I understand there are cases where it is just DNA gone haywire ). Lung Cancer, melanoma, many more, all preventable and even curable cancers when treated in time.

Here i am 2 years later, still moving crates full of my mom's belongings from one apartment or storage unit to the next. Slowly going through things. Even more slowly getting rid of the only tangible reminders of my mom.

Michelle I pray for you to have the strength and support you need for the long journey ahead of you.

I had no idea the anniversary of your Mom's death was so close, and I'm sure all of my posting about Dad just opens up wounds Wish I could give you a hug :hug:

I don't harbor too much frustration (yet) with my Dad not getting checked sooner...it's more of a feeling of sadness/regret. Not too long ago, I lost my stepfather as well, to cancer that went unchecked/untreated until it took him. I was with him when he passed too, and the very first thing I did was go to my Dad's house and said "Please don't ever do that to me...get checked!", so years later, I've just gone through the exact same thing with him, and I sometimes blame myself for not staying on top of those reminders to my Dad, other times I'm upset he just never thought twice about it all...mostly I'm pissed that cancer exists and it takes so many from us. Anyone that's ever sat in an infusion suite as I have would see just how many families are affected by cancer, and you realize no family goes without being affected by it

My sister lives in CO, but she did manage to go through most of Dad's things before she headed back home. I thought I could go through everything else and ready this house for sale alone, but in recent weeks, I see I can't. Last night I had some of my best friends head to Dad's with me, and told 'em my plans...toss what needs to go, burn the sensitive paperwork and sort through all of the stuff I need to scan so my sister and I have copies of everything important/memorable. In 3 hours, they managed to load up Omar's truck and even called in another truck to haul off the rest...cabinets are cleaned out, dressers, closets...there are still things I just need to think about, not sure what to keep vs. what needs to go, but for the most part they just helped me get through so much, it would have easily taken me weeks to do what they did in an evening. It was also good to have them for laughs, to help me when I'd start to cry. I'm forever grateful. Sounds like you could use a bit of that kind of help Jules...I know I can't do this alone.

Enough of my rambling...Jules, you're in my thoughts girl...thanks for your kind words.

 

[VaBusa]

I think we all take for granted our health. life is terminal from day one. no one gets out alive. were all dieing, just some sooner then others. my father had skin cancer as well but it was under his eye so I think it caused him to get it looked at sooner then later.

but reading threads like this remind me to be safe then sorry and just assume im always gonna be fine. I grew up in south florida and worry about skin cancer myself. any signs of anything unusual and im off to the doctor.

and ur right cancer is awful. my friend that I went to the police academy with is 47 yrs old and she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and has a 10 yr old daughter. she never smoked either. sometimes I question my faith when I think of stories like her and others that we lose so early yet very evil and deadly people live ripe old lives. I dont get it and never will probably.....

I'm glad you get checked And glad your Dad did the same...it's so important!

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend; 47 is way too young, and so heartbreaking that was diagnosed with something that mostly affects smokers, yet she never was one :down:

 

[05 Busa LE]

Once I was able to stop crying, I tried only to remember the good thoughts about my Mom, and I promise you, it helps. God bless your Dad.