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After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe
sheet,which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered
with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or
correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem and then respond
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial
action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before
the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and
engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by
Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire..
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: suspected crack in windshield.
S: suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
<!--EDIT|RaiderDm
Reason for Edit: "964"|1087320967 -->
sheet,which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered
with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or
correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem and then respond
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial
action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before
the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and
engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by
Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never
had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire..
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: suspected crack in windshield.
S: suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
<!--EDIT|RaiderDm
Reason for Edit: "964"|1087320967 -->
