proud dad
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Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her
> > > husband go with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the
> > > shopping trips.
> > > He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.
> > > Here's a letter sent to Mrs.
> > > Fenton
> > >
> > >
> > > Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> > > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
> > > ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents
> > > on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr.
> > > Fenton are listed below.
> > > Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
> > > Walmart:
> > >
> > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> > > people's carts when they weren't looking.
> > >
> > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
> > > 5-minute intervals.
> > >
> > >
> > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> > > the restrooms.
> > >
> > >
> > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> > > tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
> > >
> > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
> > > M&M's on lay away.
> > >
> > > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
> > > area.
> > >
> > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
> > > other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
> > > the bedding department.
> > >
> > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
> > > to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
> > >
> > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
> > > mirror, and picked his nose.
> > >
> > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> > > asked the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
> > >
> > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
> > > humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> > >
> > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
> > > look" using different size funnels.
> > >
> > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
> > > through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> > >
> > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
> > > he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those
> > > voices again!!!!"
> > > And last, but not least ......
> > >
> > > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> > > awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
> > > here!"
That #15 is a killer
> > > husband go with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the
> > > shopping trips.
> > > He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.
> > > Here's a letter sent to Mrs.
> > > Fenton
> > >
> > >
> > > Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> > > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
> > > ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents
> > > on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr.
> > > Fenton are listed below.
> > > Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
> > > Walmart:
> > >
> > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> > > people's carts when they weren't looking.
> > >
> > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
> > > 5-minute intervals.
> > >
> > >
> > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
> > > the restrooms.
> > >
> > >
> > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> > > tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
> > >
> > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
> > > M&M's on lay away.
> > >
> > > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
> > > area.
> > >
> > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
> > > other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
> > > the bedding department.
> > >
> > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
> > > to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
> > >
> > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
> > > mirror, and picked his nose.
> > >
> > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
> > > asked the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
> > >
> > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
> > > humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> > >
> > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
> > > look" using different size funnels.
> > >
> > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
> > > through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> > >
> > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
> > > he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those
> > > voices again!!!!"
> > > And last, but not least ......
> > >
> > > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> > > awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
> > > here!"
That #15 is a killer
