What should I do?

[300Busa]

I just need to vent and get some advice. First of all, my life is going great right now. It is my mom that is not doing so well. As some of you may remember last year about this time she was getting a divorce and you guys helped her by purchasing some "Hayabusa" decals from her business. Things seemed to be going good for her in my eyes after the divorce was finished. Then tonight she called me and I could tell that she was crying on the phone. She told me that she has until Christmas Eve to get everything out of her shop because the landlord is changing the locks. She says that the landlord plans on putting a smoke-shop/poker machines in there. I don't know if this is the reason or maybe she is getting evicted due to not paying rent? I am the type of person that just minds my own business and doesn't ask questions that I don't really need to know. She was begging for me to help her move the equipment to her house in the morning. I gladly told her that I would help first thing in the morning. I guess she has known about this for some time now, but didn't want anyone to know. All she could keep saying is "how am I going to pay my bills" and it really hurt me to hear that. Now I have a decent job and make good money, but I don't keep as much as I should in reserve (especially after I have been Christmas shopping), but I feel that I have to help her. My question is, should I give her some money and risk putting myself into financial difficulties? Even if I give her money to pay bills, what good will that be next month? I really feel bad for her, but what can I do? I am sure somebody here has been in this situation and I just want to hear what you have done and how it turned out. Thanks

Merry Christmas,
-Randy

 

[Mike.P175]

That's a tuff situation and I have never been on your end off
it so I can't give you any advice but I will offer my prayers
for you entire family.

 

[motogp08]

I just need to vent and get some advice.  First of all, my life is going great right now.  It is my mom that is not doing so well.  As some of you may remember last year about this time she was getting a divorce and you guys helped her by purchasing some "Hayabusa" decals from her business.  Things seemed to be going good for her in my eyes after the divorce was finished.  Then tonight she called me and I could tell that she was crying on the phone.  She told me that she has until Christmas Eve to get everything out of her shop because the landlord is changing the locks.  She says that the landlord plans on putting a smoke-shop/poker machines in there.  I don't know if this is the reason or maybe she is getting evicted due to not paying rent?  I am the type of person that just minds my own business and doesn't ask questions that I don't really need to know.  She was begging for me to help her move the equipment to her house in the morning.  I gladly told her that I would help first thing in the morning.  I guess she has known about this for some time now, but didn't want anyone to know.  All she could keep saying is "how am I going to pay my bills" and it really hurt me to hear that.  Now I have a decent job and make good money, but I don't keep as much as I should in reserve (especially after I have been Christmas shopping), but I feel that I have to help her.  My question is, should I give her some money and risk putting myself into financial difficulties?  Even if I give her money to pay bills, what good will that be next month?  I really feel bad for her, but what can I do?  I am sure somebody here has been in this situation and I just want to hear what you have done and how it turned out.  Thanks

Merry Christmas,
     -Randy

Hey 300, my mom was needing a little last year as well. I gave her the money, and she's fixing to pay me back! So it turned out great for both of us.

Everything has taken a drastic turn for the better for all of us, that +1000 dollars that i gave MY mom has really helped ALL of us out.

Just believe that God will pull both of you through it alright, and you'll be fine!

I don't have the financial tightrope that it sounds like you have tho, but from MY standpoint, i think you should go for it...if it were my mom, and i were in your position, i would most likely help her out.

But it is still YOUR decision man, i'll pray for you brother!

 

[BusaWizard]

Tough decision, my prayers go out to you, and your family.

 

[TIMMYDUCK]

Don't know your particuliars but I can sure tell you this .

I would much rather have handed over my mother everything I had, then been digging the snow off her grave last week.

My mom passed a little over a year ago and I'll always wish for more time with her.

 

[NightCrawler]

My question is, should I give her some money and risk putting myself into financial difficulties?   I really feel bad for her, but what can I do?  

Do you have siblings? Maybe you all can chip in and help. If you're an only child, I'm sure anything you can give her would be appreciated.

<div class="iF-Passage"><div class="QUOTEHEAD">Quote:[/Quote]<div class="QUOTE clearfix"><span class="quoteBegin"> </span>
Even if I give her money to pay bills, what good will that be next month? [/quote]
Cross that bridge when you get to it. Help her with what you can for now. Try not to put yourself in too much of a bind but do as much as you can. Heck, take out a loan if you have to and ask her to help pay back a percentage when she's back on her feet (it'll be wrong to ask your mother to pay you back in full).

I've never been through anything like this and I hope I never will. But from my POV, if it was MY mother, I'd sell my bike if I had to. I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying if push came to shove, I would.

I hope everything turns out alright ...

 

[Revolution]

it's moms, get all the info from her and help out if you can, thats what i'd do if the situation was mine.

best wishes.

 

[300Busa]

Thanks for all of the advice guys. I will just have to do what I can. If I could sell my bike over night, I would. As much as I hate to say it, my sister is pretty much worthless for anything these days. Hopefully I will dream up some solution in my sleep tonight.

 

[ike]

I had my moms come live with me when she was having a hard time.
My moms not perfect but she didn't abandone me like some moms do to their children. If you could, help her out. I hope it all works out for you . Be easy on yourself. It'll all work out in time.

 

[Supergank1]

yea you gotta take care of mom if you can,i say just do what you can and be there for her.

 

[Ranger]

Man, short of putting my wife and kids in harms way, I would do ANYTHING that was needed for my mom. I hope you can work it out for the best.

 

[ibified]

Well said. Im sure that when you were growing up, she probably gave up some things so that you could have the things YOU wanted. it may be time to repay that. My wife and I have always agreed that if we had a parent in need, we'd give them all the help we could, even if it meant that we had to put off some things that we wanted to do. After all, thats only fair, as far as im concerned.

 

[motogp08]

Well said!

 

[Projekt]

When it comes to family, particularly mom, I help as best I can and on the personal condition that the money isn't a loan. They may be under the impression that it is a loan but to make it easy on myself, I don't expect to be repaid ever. This is to avoid animosity and other drama incase they can't scratch enough together to pay it back.

A long time ago when I was just getting started in the AirForce (read: poor), I told my mom that I'd give her $1000 so she would be motivated to buy a house for herself since my dad wasn't gonna make it happen. She ended up buying a house with the combined help of my sisters.
Years later, when she got a divorce from my dad, my sisters bought her share of the house.
I happened to be upside down with debt and credit cards at the time so she bailed me out with a large amount of money.

It is like the ebb and flow, you give a little and you end up getting a little.

That reminds me, I've got to send mom some cash...

 

[Bird Hunter]

Tough situation man, I feel for you.. I would do everything I could up to the point I couldn't feed or take care of my dependents if I went any further.. Stay Tough Bro...

 

[ibified]

One other thing I do, which is kinda the opposite of what some kids do...

Sometimes when I swing by my mom's house or my grandma's house, I wait until they arent around, and sneak 20 bucks or so into their purses. That way they have a lil extra than they thought, and they don't know (or need to know) where it came from.

 

[Scar]

Do anything you can for Mom.

If not for her, you would not be the person you are today; from both the 'nature' and 'nurture' standpoint.

You have the good heart she gave you.

Help her. Be creative in your thinking, and everything will eventually work itself out...it always does.

If me, I'd take an extra job and work 24/7 for my mom if I had to...

Good luck, Merry Christmas, and, as written above, stay tough.

 

[craigntx]

think you got problems?
my mother likes to hit the bottle, every day.
gets very belligerent too.
her health is poor also.
once she was very drunk, and fell down, and couldn't get back up, had to call 911. the emt's told my sister she was over the limit.
she needs someone to live with her and take care of her, but she's so bitter nobody will. she's kicked me out more times than i can count.
she wont go to an assisted care facility (they dont go for drunks there) and she's running out of money too

 

[Projekt]

think you got problems?
my mother likes to hit the bottle, every day.
gets very belligerent too.
her health is poor also.
once she was very drunk, and fell down, and couldn't get back up, had to call 911. the emt's told my sister she was over the limit.
she needs someone to live with her and take care of her, but she's so bitter nobody will. she's kicked me out more times than i can count.
she wont go to an assisted care facility (they dont go for drunks there) and she's running out of money too

Has she been evaluated for diabetes? Sometimes that causes alcoholism...

 

[Mike.P175]

I had my moms come live with me when she was having a hard time.

I was thinking that may be one solution. A way of keeping her
on her feet and away to keep you out of extra debt + get some
of Mom's cooking