Whats the craziest thing that happened--

Churchkey

Registered
This happened about 1977.
So my new red headed hottie stops by my shop with coffee etc, We have been dating about 2 weeks. She wants to do something so I roll out the Dunstall that has been neglected for a few months & tell her to clean it up. She spends about 5 hours on it & its looking really good so I jump on it & head off on the 4 lane to pick up some small parts. Run it through the gears & as I'm approaching the stop & go light it goes red. 2 fingers on the front brake lever & I expect the dual discs to easily pull me down to a safe smooth stop & I get NOTHING. I have a hard lever but nothing is happening. I go to a death grip on the front brake & still nothing. I'm locking & unlocking the rear, sliding around & know I will be sliding through the intersection. I'm not wearing gear & I can't bail -- cement side walks & curbs, lamp posts, telephone posts, bus stop signs, newspaper machines you name it--I'm going to hit something. I'm just about to put it down on its side & let it go into the intersection first with me sliding on my ass along with it when the front brakes come in & I'm not ready for them, the bike stops real quick, I end up on top of the tank, toes barely touching the ground & I think I lost my manhood on the gas filler cap. To add insult to injury a couple of construction workers pull up in the next lane in a pick up (I'm still on top of the gas tank) & they tell me that if I keep riding like that I'm going to get hurt really bad.

What happened? the friggin red head WAXED MY BRAKE ROTORS!!! I bitched her out but she told me it was not her fault--I told her to wax everything shinny & she don't know what brake rotors are.

From that moment on the only way I will let a female touch my bike is with her ass -- on the passenger seat.

What happened to the red head? I married her several years later. She's watching tv in the den now. She don't ride anymore. Come to think of it there's a lot of things she don't do any more since she ate wedding cake.
 
1st - clothes lined my self on barbed wire - almost decapitated myself, doctor said he was surprised it didnt take my head lear off, lucky to be alive...

2nd - had about a month's time span of things flying off of trucks on the highway when i was directly behind them.. Wood palletts, a full sheet of plywood, half a truck load of sand, and shovel, and the worst thing, the roof of a bus , yes the entire roof of a bus flew off! I finally quit riding for about 30 days because i was terrified that something was going to hit me.
 
I had a small boat on a trailer come loose from the truck towing it a few cars ahead of Me on the hihway this summer..the whole hitch was still attached!!

The truck driver sopped like a half a mile up..He had that Oh my god look on his face when i drove By..So did I..It was skidding/sparking right in front of Me!!Lucky it skidded to the side of the road without killing someone!!
 
To many to list...
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This happened about 1977.
So my new red headed hottie stops by my shop with coffee etc, We have been dating about 2 weeks. She wants to do something so I roll out the Dunstall that has been neglected for a few months & tell her to clean it up. She spends about 5 hours on it & its looking really good so I jump on it & head off on the 4 lane to pick up some small parts. Run it through the gears & as I'm approaching the stop & go light it goes red. 2 fingers on the front brake lever & I expect the dual discs to easily pull me down to a safe smooth stop & I get NOTHING. I have a hard lever but nothing is happening. I go to a death grip on the front brake & still nothing. I'm locking & unlocking the rear, sliding around & know I will be sliding through the intersection. I'm not wearing gear & I can't bail -- cement side walks & curbs, lamp posts, telephone posts, bus stop signs, newspaper machines you name it--I'm going to hit something. I'm just about to put it down on its side & let it go into the intersection first with me sliding on my ass along with it when the front brakes come in & I'm not ready for them, the bike stops real quick, I end up on top of the tank, toes barely touching the ground & I think I lost my manhood on the gas filler cap. To add insult to injury a couple of construction workers pull up in the next lane in a pick up (I'm still on top of the gas tank) & they tell me that if I keep riding like that I'm going to get hurt really bad.

What happened? the friggin red head WAXED MY BRAKE ROTORS!!! I bitched her out but she told me it was not her fault--I told her to wax everything shinny & she don't know what brake rotors are.

From that moment on the only way I will let a female touch my bike is with her ass -- on the passenger seat.

What happened to the red head? I married her several years later. She's watching tv in the den now. She don't ride anymore. Come to think of it there's a lot of things she don't do any more since she ate wedding cake.
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mines not crazy... Maybe a little stupid. I used to have a dr350 which I would tear around town on... I was going to a supermarket to get a drink after riding. As I was approaching the entrance I realized that the In ramp was actually pretty steep and would get me some pretty big air. Being all of 23 at the time I hit the ramp at 20-25 mph and goosed it. Needless to say I got some good air and distance and landed right in front of a state trooper sitting in his Patrol car. His eyes were very big... Then the yelling started.
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He let me go with out a ticket but gave me a very long and thorough verbal beatdown. (which I deserved because I could just as easily landed on his hood)

the only other one I have is... I was riding out by stroudsburg on state land. No real trails just woods and a black bear stepped out in front of me and I swerved and hit the ground. Bear just looked at me (again with big eyes) then ran away. Now you may ask yourselves why the friggin bear didn't take off as soon as it heard the bike from a mile away... and the answer is because all the dumb a$$'s in the area feed them so they no longer have any fear. I would occasionly look out the side window of my house and see one on my neighbors deck chowing down on leftovers they put out for him.

two very cool bears. One could have beat me and the other coulda eat me.
 
Riding with another board member and a group of friends last summer, out in our high speed area in the boonies by Lake Okeechobee, we encountered a large gator on the side of the road. As we approached him well into the triple digits, he stood up and bolted for the shallow swale on the side of the road. Couldn't tell what it was until we were right on top of him at that speed. He was right at the edge of the pavement.
The same board member I was riding with encountered a gator right in the road in the same general area. This one stood his ground, I am pretty sure. Had to carefully dodge it.
 
I had two highway incidents in the same year back in 1991. 1st was riding on I-215 around Salt Lake City. I was on my V-Max and my brother was on his V-65 when a flatbed truck carrying about 8-10 Dons Jons lost it's outer rope railing. We picked our lines and weaved in between all of the bouncing jons, amazingly missing all of them. A post ride inspection of our clothes and bikes did reveal that even though we missed the Jons, we still managed to get tagged by quite a bit of "debris".
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A few months later I was heading south on I-15 to St. George in a drizzling rain when an overloaded truck lost several office chairs which went bouncing all over the highway. I couldn't swerve because of the slick road, so I just found a gap and held on tight. I missed the chairs with the bike, but one of those metal legs with the wheels caught me right across the shin. I thought I'd broken my leg, but after pulling over for further inspection it was just a very nasty bruise that stayed for weeks.
 
This happened about 1977.
So my new red headed hottie stops by my shop with coffee etc, We have been dating about 2 weeks. She wants to do something so I roll out the Dunstall that has been neglected for a few months & tell her to clean it up. She spends about 5 hours on it & its looking really good so I jump on it & head off on the 4 lane to pick up some small parts. Run it through the gears & as I'm approaching the stop & go light it goes red. 2 fingers on the front brake lever & I expect the dual discs to easily pull me down to a safe smooth stop & I get NOTHING. I have a hard lever but nothing is happening. I go to a death grip on the front brake & still nothing. I'm locking & unlocking the rear, sliding around & know I will be sliding through the intersection. I'm not wearing gear & I can't bail -- cement side walks & curbs, lamp posts, telephone posts, bus stop signs, newspaper machines you name it--I'm going to hit something. I'm just about to put it down on its side & let it go into the intersection first with me sliding on my ass along with it when the front brakes come in & I'm not ready for them, the bike stops real quick, I end up on top of the tank, toes barely touching the ground & I think I lost my manhood on the gas filler cap. To add insult to injury a couple of construction workers pull up in the next lane in a pick up (I'm still on top of the gas tank) & they tell me that if I keep riding like that I'm going to get hurt really bad.

What happened? the friggin red head WAXED MY BRAKE ROTORS!!! I bitched her out but she told me it was not her fault--I told her to wax everything shinny & she don't know what brake rotors are.

From that moment on the only way I will let a female touch my bike is with her ass -- on the passenger seat.

What happened to the red head? I married her several years later. She's watching tv in the den now. She don't ride anymore. Come to think of it there's a lot of things she don't do any more since she ate wedding cake.
Oh, that's classic!
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Back in 1977, young and stupid, I wanted to find out just how fast my Kawi KZ1000 was.  I found a long flat deserted straight-away, and started going through the gears.  So here I was laying down across the tank with the speed-o working its way up through the 125 mark when I so something wizz by the side of my front tire.  After I slowed down I road back to see what it was.  It turned out to be a fairly large box turtle crossing the road.  If that speed run was an inch further to the left, I would have been kissing the street, and probably wouldn't be typing this!    
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This happened about 1977.
So my new red headed hottie stops by my shop with coffee etc, We have been dating about 2 weeks. She wants to do something so I roll out the Dunstall that has been neglected for a few months & tell her to clean it up. She spends about 5 hours on it & its looking really good so I jump on it & head off on the 4 lane to pick up some small parts. Run it through the gears & as I'm approaching the stop & go light it goes red. 2 fingers on the front brake lever & I expect the dual discs to easily pull me down to a safe smooth stop & I get NOTHING. I have a hard lever but nothing is happening. I go to a death grip on the front brake & still nothing. I'm locking & unlocking the rear, sliding around & know I will be sliding through the intersection. I'm not wearing gear & I can't bail -- cement side walks & curbs, lamp posts, telephone posts, bus stop signs, newspaper machines you name it--I'm going to hit something. I'm just about to put it down on its side & let it go into the intersection first with me sliding on my ass along with it when the front brakes come in & I'm not ready for them, the bike stops real quick, I end up on top of the tank, toes barely touching the ground & I think I lost my manhood on the gas filler cap. To add insult to injury a couple of construction workers pull up in the next lane in a pick up (I'm still on top of the gas tank) & they tell me that if I keep riding like that I'm going to get hurt really bad.

What happened? the friggin red head WAXED MY BRAKE ROTORS!!! I bitched her out but she told me it was not her fault--I told her to wax everything shinny & she don't know what brake rotors are.

From that moment on the only way I will let a female touch my bike is with her ass -- on the passenger seat.

What happened to the red head? I married her several years later. She's watching tv in the den now. She don't ride anymore. Come to think of it there's a lot of things she don't do any more since she ate wedding cake.
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Posted this one a while back.

A couple of years ago I was riding my Magna back from a trip to Deal's Gap/the Blue Ridge Parkway. I hit a little rain shower and tucked my feet up on the passenger pegs to get my legs behind my big touring windshield. 5 minutes later the rain stopped and I put my feet back down only to discover my right peg was gone.

I pulled over and checked the mounting bracket thinking the bolt had worked it's way loose or something, but it was in there nice and tight. It was impossible for it to have worked it's way out then screwed itself back in, so my next thought was that I may have snapped a weld when grinding the pegs through Deal's Gap. I checked the other one and there were no welds. The whole thing was machined from a single thick block of aluminum and had roughly 1" of metal all around the bolt. Would have been impossible to snap that without crashing, plus the bolt wasn't bent at all.

I rode over that stretch of road twice looking for the peg but never found it. I ended up riding the remaining 400 miles home with my foot propped very uncomfortably on the crankshaft cover. To this day I have no idea what happened to that peg. The most logical explanation I can come up with is that a black hole temporarily opened up and sucked it into another dimension.
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The worst thing that happened to me is:  
 Going to work one day when a truck started tunting me.  I hit the gas and left him sitting there all by himself.  All of a sudden I smell burning rubber then the bars started to shake.  I looked down and saw 140 on the speedo when I chopped the throttle.  I slowed down and the shaking stopped.  I rode it out, got off the highway and pulled into the parking lot at work.  I looked the bike over and that is when I noticed burnt plastic all over the front fender and fairing.  When I looked closer I found that the new front tire that I just had installed one hour before hand was the wrong size.  Upon further investigating I found that the tire was wrong altogether.  It was the tire that belongs on a Honda Shadow and is only rated to 120 mph.  I over sped the tire and it expanded enought to rub the inside of the fender.  The dealership that put the wrong tire on the bike gave me my money back,gave me the right tire, a replacement fender and paid a different shop to install them.



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the first month i had my liscense i was riding with a group of buddies. i was last in line. as we passed a dead tree on the side of the road it began to fall. luckily it didnt come across the entire rd. just part of it so i was able to avoid it. but was very scary since i just started riding.
 
Riding home late at night a few months ago cruising at around 100Mph I assisted a suicide. The road was pitch black, not illuminated and with very little shoulder if any. It was instantaneous, the black and white creature attacked my front tire. It bolted from the right, out from behind some brush, literally ten or less feet in front of my tire. It was obvious that this cat wanted to end it's life. I just happened to be it's very own grim reeper. No nine lives bailout for this kitty cat as I must have split it in two.
I almost soiled myself since the front end got squirly until the guts scrubbed off. The steering dampener really did it's job keeping it under control. Sure kept me awake for the rest of the ride.



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Woah, those are some wild stories. The craziest thing thats ever happened to me was in 1994 I had a 1993 Gsxr 750. For some stupid reason I saw this small bag in the road and decide to play soccer with it. I thought it may have been a diaper and it stuck to my foot. I wasnt paying attention and I was tryin to shake it off.....look up and theres a stop sign with a 4 lane highway with lots of big trucks runnin down it. I locked the brakes and went all the way into the median and sat there fro 10 minutes or so trying to regain my wits and realizing how STUPID I was. That was one of the scariest days of my life. It was absolutely terrifying. I was VERY VERY lucky I didnt get smashed to pieces.
 
Another Magna story. Mine, a 1994 model.

1997, about 2:00 AM. A buddy and I had been out. A little drinking, but not drunk. Enough of the stuff, though, to make me want to do a high speed run on an empty stretch of highway. 4 lanes. I'm doing about 130 (yes, the Magna was a pretty fast bike for a cruiser) when I see a van pull onto the highway about a half a mile ahead. No problem, he's in the other lane. As I approach (really fast), the van suddenly moves into my lane. Holy sh1t! No time for lane changing, I grabbed the brakes hard and prayed! My front tire came within an inch of the van's rear bumper. I couldn't believe that I wasn't a mangled mess all over the highway. I was still shaking when I got home.

Soon after I sold the bike and didn't ride again for 6 years! Scared the pee out of me!

Lesson learned. Even moderate levels of drinking might encourage you to do things you ordinarily wouldn't do. So, if you must, be extra aware.
 
This involves a GPZ1100 and a couple a beers after work.
1987 Dallas, TX. on Harry Hines Blvd. riding home I stop at a light and there is Four Great LooK'in Hookers on the corner. The next thing I know by bike is on top of me.
Leg pinned under and can not get the bike off me. Here come the Hookers and they pick the bike off of me. People at the light were Honking and Shouting, I was so embarrest!
Dumb-Ass Me pulled up to the light and never put my feet down.
 
This happened more than ten years ago when I was less well behaved so spare me the lectures ;)

I had had a HUGE night out and not slept. I was still very, very drunk and under the influence of a cocktail of illicit drugs.

I stumbled home and not having time for sleep before work I got dressed and thought I would jump on my RG250 and scoot 25 miles off to work.

I never drink + ? and drive and I cant explan why I thought I would start that morning but it seemed like a good idea
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There is no doubt at all in my mind that if I had ridden that bike I would have died, I could not even walk let alone balanace a bike.

So it was fortunate that once I had kicked some life into the bike and went to pull the clutch that the cable snapped and rendered the bike quite unridable.

Back to bed I went and woke about 12 hours later having missed work.

If that cable hadnt broke that morning...

Its the only time I can recall when I was happy my bike needed a repair.

moX
 
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