> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because after 8 years, it was
> time for a
> change! The chickens have spoken, and they want change!
>
> JOHN McCAIN: My friends, let me give you a little straight talk- that
> chicken is the original maverick! He crossed the road because he recognized
> the need to reach across the aisle and engage in cooperation and dialogue
> with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
> little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
> qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this
> country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
> really isn't about me.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
> We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
> not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
> ground here.
>
> **** CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
> definition of chicken?
>
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
> now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
> the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
> it.
>
> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
>
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
> that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
> before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
> we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
> on his current problems before adding new problems.
>
>
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
> is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
> chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
> life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
> across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
> but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
> the road.
>
>
> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
> can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
>
> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
>
>
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
> told.
>
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
>
> JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
> plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the
> road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
>
>
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
> enough.
>
>
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
> story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
> accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
> cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
> balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
> eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
> crash........reboot.
>
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
> road move beneath the chicken?
>
>
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
> time for a
> change! The chickens have spoken, and they want change!
>
> JOHN McCAIN: My friends, let me give you a little straight talk- that
> chicken is the original maverick! He crossed the road because he recognized
> the need to reach across the aisle and engage in cooperation and dialogue
> with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
> little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
> qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this
> country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
> really isn't about me.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
> We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
> not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
> ground here.
>
> **** CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
> definition of chicken?
>
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
> now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
> the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
> it.
>
> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
>
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
> that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
> before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
> we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
> on his current problems before adding new problems.
>
>
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
> is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
> chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
> life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
> across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
> but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
> the road.
>
>
> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
> can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
>
> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
> when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
>
>
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
> told.
>
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
>
> JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
> plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
> phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the
> road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
>
>
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
> enough.
>
>
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
> story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
> accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
> together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
> cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
> balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
> eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
> crash........reboot.
>
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
> road move beneath the chicken?
>
>
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
