gurrera
Registered
Why Teachers Drink..........
> ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?
>
> GED TEST
>
> The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
> These are genuine answers (from 16 year-olds)............and they WILL
> breed
>
> Q. Name the four seasons
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. How is dew formed
> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
> abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now ,
> there is little hope)
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age
> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
> true)
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A. Premature death
>
> Q. What is artificial insemination
> A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
> A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
> heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
> I,O,U..
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control
> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That
> would work)
>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness
> A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
> meaning
> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Gurrera
> ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS?
>
> GED TEST
>
> The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
> These are genuine answers (from 16 year-olds)............and they WILL
> breed
>
> Q. Name the four seasons
> A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
>
> Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
> A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
>
> Q. How is dew formed
> A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
>
> Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
> A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends
> to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature
> abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
>
> Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
> A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
>
> Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
> A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
>
> Q. What are steroids
> A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now ,
> there is little hope)
>
> Q.. What happens to your body as you age
> A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
>
> Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
> A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So
> true)
>
> Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
> A. Premature death
>
> Q. What is artificial insemination
> A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
>
> Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
> A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
>
> Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
> A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
> abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
> heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E,
> I,O,U..
>
> Q. What is the fibula?
> A. A small lie
>
> Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
> A. Nearby
>
> Q. What is the most common form of birth control
> A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That
> would work)
>
> Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
> A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
>
> Q. What is a seizure?
> A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
>
> Q. What is a terminal illness
> A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
>
> Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> umbrellas
>
> Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its
> meaning
> A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
>
> Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
> A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
>
> Q. What is a turbine?
> A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Gurrera
