Just when do you tell your wife about your extra kid?

[1340]

I have a very close friend of mine that is caught in a dilema. I feel part guilty of it, but I have loyalty to my friends. My friend is married with a 6 year old daughter and his wife was pregnant when he met this woman. The affair lasted for 13 month until he had to leave town. On his last month here he found out that she was pregnant by him. He tried everything he could to make her consider an abortion, but it was against her beliefs and she kept the baby. He accepted the situation and relocated, but along with that he already started an allotment going to her on a monthly basis for support. She's well aware that he's married with kids, and she's also aware that they were just doing it for fun at that moment.

Having this situation happen to you: Would you tell your wife now after all this time? or would you just prolong the inevitable and keep the secret from your wife until the situation presents itself down the future?

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Ooooof what was he thinking ?
Oh yeah he wasn't !

Best get it out of the way .
Come clean and hope for the best which most likely won't be good !

I hope your friends wife is not Spanish cuz there will be no forgiveness only Machete !

 

[1340]

Ooooof what was he thinking ?
Oh yeah he wasn't !

Best get it out of the way .
Come clean and hope for the best which most likely won't be good !

I hope your friends wife is not Spanish cuz there will be no forgiveness only Machete !

They are both hispanic

 

[RACER_X]

if i were him, i'd ask for DNA testing......who's to say she wasn't hoeing around like he was.

and he'd better keep a paper trail of his payments to her, in case she comes after him for back shild support.

 

[expat1970]

that is a sticky situation,id say come clean and take whats coming to him

 

[zukracer]

man thats a really tough spot. a paternity test would be wise just to solidify things and help him (and the kid) later in life. best case, his wife is forgiving and he can have his current life and introduce his other child into the mix. worst case, he looses all the way across and is single with no contact with either kid. Hope for the best and pray the outcome is in the middle.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Best call Maury Povich then to schedule their appearance cuz it's gonna be a good episode ! At least they can split the 5k before they split !

but yes plus one on the DNA test . She knowingly sleeps with a married man she has no conscience and would do same to him .

 

[Treelimb]

Wow!!!!!!!

 

[J'Man]

:omg: Oh...he needs to come clean and tell her about the child. How will she react? I

 

[1340]

If he tells his wife now, that's pretty much an automatic divorce with two child supports, well actually 3 child supports and him being single. His wife came from a traditional Mexican background I don't think she will take it lightly. I don't think any wife will take it lightly regardless of background. I mean either way it can really blow-up on his face, its just a matter of now or later.

 

[Busa1166]

1 st DNA

Be absolutely sure before you sign as the father after you sign won't matter whether you are or aren't.

The longer he waits the worse it will be if he intends to be a farther for both children going to be hard to pull off without coming clean.

People if you can't stay faithful don't get married or if you married and you find someone else break it off or divorce first.

A friend came home an found his wife with another man he turned an left an hasn't come back to his family. His kids are still crying 6 and a 8 yr old. Been 3 months he hasn't spoken a word to anyone of them just a random e mail once in a while to the wife.

I wish you friend luck he is going to need it.. If she has or can get her hands on a firearm he may want to try an hide this as long as possible

 

[1340]

:omg: Oh...he needs to come clean and tell her about the child. How will she react? I

True, but do you think that it would have been a lesser blow if he would have fessed-up earlier when she was only two months pregnant?

 

[head east busa]

man as a guy instinct is to bury it but the reality is it is going to find him eventually. First order of business make sure it's his second well hold on because it's most likely better he goes to his wife with this than his wife come to him.

I don't see really any good that comes out of it either way so at least take the high ground and man up, oh and take busa1166's advice hide any firearms and edged weapons too for that matter.

 

[dsbunton646]

He is the only one that can decide what is best because no one else is in his shoes. No one lives his life so I could put in my opinion but it is just that my opinion. I hate to jump to conclusions and definetely not judging because I have no clue about his life and what he deals with but I see this kind of stuff a lot. I sometimes wonder why people even get married to start with. Seems a lot of people these day lose sight of what marriage is supposed to be and even more people have no respect for it. I believe no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but I hope she is more forgiving than me because if there is one thing I wouldn't/couldn't get over or tolerate, cheating is it regardless of whether there was a child in it or not. Hope it works out for his sake and his families.
Sorry for the preaching but this subject kinda hit close to home (not mine) as of late from someone I had and then lost some respect for. just needed to vent a bit.

 

[J'Man]

True, but do you think that it would have been a lesser blow if he would have fessed-up earlier when she was only two months pregnant?

Honestly I would say yes. Would it have been difficult to deal with, absolutely. This is just a bad situation that's going to get worse, especially as more time passes. If she is like most women take one guess what the very first question will be..........


"So just how long have you known about this child"?

This is where the conversation is going to go bad quickly. The longer he waits the more chance she may not be willing to forgive him. I do agree with what someone else said about the DNA test. That should be a given before he discusses anything. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Mr Brown]

Would have been better to speak up earlier, but coming clean now is the best thing in the circumstances. Be apologetic, and admit wrongdoing. As said, way better if he comes to her rather than waiting until she comes to him with it. She will eventually find out, they always do.......
Oh ya, defintitely DNA before anything is said or done.

 

[zukracer]

True, but do you think that it would have been a lesser blow if he would have fessed-up earlier when she was only two months pregnant?

dont think it matters either way, it didnt happen then so it has to happen now. Like I said earlier, he can really just hope for something to work out with his wife.

 

[1340]

He is the only one that can decide what is best because no one else is in his shoes. No one lives his life so I could put in my opinion but it is just that my opinion. I hate to jump to conclusions and definetely not judging because I have no clue about his life and what he deals with but I see this kind of stuff a lot. I sometimes wonder why people even get married to start with. Seems a lot of people these day lose sight of what marriage is supposed to be and even more people have no respect for it. I believe no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but I hope she is more forgiving than me because if there is one thing I wouldn't/couldn't get over or tolerate, cheating is it regardless of whether there was a child in it or not. Hope it works out for his sake and his families.
Sorry for the preaching but this subject kinda hit close to home (not mine) as of late from someone I had and then lost some respect for. just needed to vent a bit.

I'm with you man. I felt really bad when my friend's (2nd kid) son was born. I went to the hospital to visit them, and I actually pulled my friend to the side and told him that 'I feel bad for your wife, maybe you should stop seeing her' he actually stayed away for a little bit, but it did'nt last. At that point I figured that I said my .o2 and he's a grown man. Sure enough 6 months after that he got her pregnant.

 

[Tufbusa]

Oh the dividends that a 75 cent condom would have paid! He may be better off to head south to Mexico?

 

[gabusa]

1st DNA test to confirm all is well.
2nd Since he has already started an allotment (keep track because I saw in court a couple of years ago a guy was paying in cash and when they went to court about the child support the girl said it was a gift for two years. The court hit him up for back child support). If he is in the military then on his allotment in DFAS make sure he checks its for guardianship support.
3rd. Tell his wife. If they are in to the end then there will be hardache and pain but in the end the children wont have to wait years and suddenly find out they are siblings.
4th PRAY