Advice on being married...
- Thread starter BulletTrain
- Start date
Long before I was married, a married friend told me that his biggest suggestion was to listen. Men are natural problem-solvers, so when a woman starts talking about a problem, we try to "help" by solving the problem. Generally women don't want/like that. they just want you to EMPATHIZE.
Read Men are from Mars, Women from Venus! It will give you some good insight into the female psyche.
Read Men are from Mars, Women from Venus! It will give you some good insight into the female psyche.
I posted this once, I'll paste it again...
Your woman wants to be your princess.
Seriously. That doesn't mean coddle them, bow to their every need. It means, make them feel like the most important woman that ever lived. Tell her she is beautiful, tell her that she rocks your world, give her a wink from across the room, grab a handful when you walk by. Never, ever, take her for granted.
Communicate: Ask how she is doing, and LISTEN to her answer.
Pay Attention:Ask how her day was, or how a project at work went, or how was the trip to the park with the kids.
Be involved: Ask if there is anything she needs, or how she is feeling about a certain situation within the household.
Last thing.... a great marriage is full of honesty, forgiveness and compromise.
Your woman wants to be your princess.
Seriously. That doesn't mean coddle them, bow to their every need. It means, make them feel like the most important woman that ever lived. Tell her she is beautiful, tell her that she rocks your world, give her a wink from across the room, grab a handful when you walk by. Never, ever, take her for granted.
Communicate: Ask how she is doing, and LISTEN to her answer.
Pay Attention:Ask how her day was, or how a project at work went, or how was the trip to the park with the kids.
Be involved: Ask if there is anything she needs, or how she is feeling about a certain situation within the household.
Last thing.... a great marriage is full of honesty, forgiveness and compromise.
BT,
I am currently on my second marriage, to the same woman. Yeah yeah, I know you don't want to hear from someone who screwed it up once but here goes anyway.
No, she is not always right. No, you are not always right.
Communication is the key. You must always always always talk about everything. We have a rule in our house. We never go to bed angry or upset with each other. NEVER!!
Remember this, it is a line from a country music song.
Love is something we do, not something we're in.
Don
I am currently on my second marriage, to the same woman. Yeah yeah, I know you don't want to hear from someone who screwed it up once but here goes anyway.
No, she is not always right. No, you are not always right.
Communication is the key. You must always always always talk about everything. We have a rule in our house. We never go to bed angry or upset with each other. NEVER!!
Remember this, it is a line from a country music song.
Love is something we do, not something we're in.
Don
Make sure she is ALWAYS No. 1 in your life, which means she comes first and let her be her. In return she will let you be you and then anything can be worked out. Never do anything you wouldn't want her to know about and NEVER LIE to her. Always let her know how YOU feel about what your considering or thinking about any situations. Be a GOOD Listener, women talk through emotion so DON'T keep breaking in and asking her to GET TO THE POINT. Just wait, she'll get there. Always compliment her on her looks
, and NOTICE any changes (hair, dress, whatever). And last but NOT least, HER opinion ALWAYS means more than your friends or buddys. Not that you'll always agree or do what she wants, but her opinion should always weigh
more that anyone elses. Remember when your sick or in 40 years she will still be there, your buddys will probably all be gone somewhere else. Your World should revolve around her and hers yours.
My .02 cents, but with 36 years of experience
and I wouldn't trade one second of it
My .02 cents, but with 36 years of experience
Well man there has been alotta good advice givin to you already so i'm not even sure if i can add anything i know i was married once already and i wish it coulda went better but if it woulda then i woulda never meet the gal that i am engaged too now we have hard are hardships but i wouldn't trade any of it she is so much more then then my ex in ways i wish i coulda meet her first but such goes life right. I know this time it is the right one and I'm sure you have made sure of that also man Good luck to you
A little late in the game here, eh?! Next time, ask for advice a little sooner, bro!!!
Excellent advice by everyone.
My 1/50th of a dollar's worth is remember that people change. You will change over time and she will change. What that means is, you get a chance to fall in love with each other over and over again. Always remember that.
We've been married 17 years and we are continuously and repeatedly falling in love, over and over again. We also both have a youthful appearance (unrelated, I think) and people are constantly stunned to hear how long we've been married. It's because of our demeanor and our behavior toward each other. Holding hands, kissing in public, staring deep into each other's eyes in a restaurant. These kinds of things never become silly or odd. They become more meaningful as time goes on.
Here is some stuff from my blog that I've written over the years.
What a Marriage is NOT Careful with this one, though. It's not in favor of marriage
Marriage Revisited
Marriage
Wedding Advice
Relationships
What makes a great relationship
Enjoy!
--Wag--
Excellent advice by everyone.
My 1/50th of a dollar's worth is remember that people change. You will change over time and she will change. What that means is, you get a chance to fall in love with each other over and over again. Always remember that.
We've been married 17 years and we are continuously and repeatedly falling in love, over and over again. We also both have a youthful appearance (unrelated, I think) and people are constantly stunned to hear how long we've been married. It's because of our demeanor and our behavior toward each other. Holding hands, kissing in public, staring deep into each other's eyes in a restaurant. These kinds of things never become silly or odd. They become more meaningful as time goes on.
Here is some stuff from my blog that I've written over the years.
What a Marriage is NOT Careful with this one, though. It's not in favor of marriage
Marriage Revisited
Marriage
Wedding Advice
Relationships
What makes a great relationship
Enjoy!
--Wag--
I scanned through this thread but haven't had time to really soak it in. We're about 3.5 hours out now and I probably won't post again until after the honeymoon but I'll read everything and respond when the jets cool. Thanks for everyone's input. Gotta go start gettin' ready now. I'm so excited.
coke4class
Registered
Always comprimise and dont argue with the wifey...Feed her well... make her dinner everyonve in a while... or... hire a chef! Also buy a KING size bed...
pillowtop memorycrap and all you will like it... trust me
Good luck!
Good luck!
Where do U men find these good women? On the mountains somewhere in a remote island somewhere? Are there any left? I must say, it makes me kind of mushy when I read beautiful statements like these coming from real men who are not afraid to express themselves. Keep up the good work, people.
PS: Im 39 and divorced for 9 yrs w/ no kids.
PS: Im 39 and divorced for 9 yrs w/ no kids.
Somehow, I got lucky and found a wife who:
Is too blind to see well.
Can't hear me rant and rave.
Can't feel the clumsiness in me.
Can't understand me when I'm stupid.
Forgets my screw ups pretty fast.
She's just totally inept at those things.
But,
She sees me for who I am, not who she wants me to be.
She hears me when I need someone to listen to me.
Is just as clumsy as I am and knows what I'm talkin' about!
Knows that stupid is usually just momentary.
Screws up sometimes, just to make me feel better about myself.
She's the most perfect woman I could've ever asked for.
After 17 years, I still can't express it adequately in words. But she knows what I mean!
--Wag--
(Love you, honey!)
Only advice I can give is from my dad. My parents were married for over 40 years before my mom passed away and I allways wondered how they could stay together through all the rough times, while others failed. My dad's reply was simple, "There is no your's and mine, only ours". After seeing other people in their marriages, it makes allot of sense to me now.
Chris,take a genuine interest in what she has to say no matter what or how petty you may feel the subject is.Congrats agai!
Great thread. Amazing what a bunch of Busa guys and gals have come up with here. All I can add is do the little things: Open doors, get her a drink; always be aware for what she might need.....true love makes this easy, and thus it feeds upon itself. Realize how wonderful she is, and realize it regularly. Enjoy
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