and the fight started
- Thread starter rockadaous
- Start date
Those were freaking hilarious Rock!
"phoning a friend" is usually not an option guys.
"phoning a friend" is usually not an option guys.
I think it will be best not to share these with the wife... I may be headed to the doghouse.
Re post but darn funny.
- Beware of the Doghouse- Hilarious![/url]
Re post but darn funny.
Last edited by a moderator:
MelodicMetalGod
Registered
Funny stuff...DANGEROUS, but funny.
I find it hilarious. Do3 better not ever think of using them
no phone'n a friend for you rob
2BmrsDo3
Registered
Last edited by a moderator:
2BmrsDo3
Registered
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm the man
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend.
2 a companion.
3 a lover.
4 a brother.
5 a father.
6 a master.
7 a chef.
8 an electrician.
9 a carpenter.
10. a plumber.
11. a mechanic.
12. a decorator.
13. a stylist.
14. a sexologist.
15. a gynecologist.
16. a psychologist.
17. a pest exterminator.
18. a psychiatrist.
19. a healer.
20. a good listener.
21. an organizer.
22. a good father.
23. very clean.
24. sympathetic.
25. athletic.
26. warm.
27. attentive.
28. gallant.
29. intelligent.
30. funny.
31. creative.
32. tender.
33. strong.
34. understanding.
35. tolerant.
36. prudent.
37. ambitious.
38. capable.
39. courageous.
40. determined.
41. true.
42. dependable.
43. passionate.
44. compassionate.
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly.
46. love shopping.
47. be honest.
48. be very rich.
49. not stress her out.
50. not look at other girls.
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself.
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself.
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays.
* anniversaries.
* arrangements she makes.
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food
3. Bring Beer
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend.
2 a companion.
3 a lover.
4 a brother.
5 a father.
6 a master.
7 a chef.
8 an electrician.
9 a carpenter.
10. a plumber.
11. a mechanic.
12. a decorator.
13. a stylist.
14. a sexologist.
15. a gynecologist.
16. a psychologist.
17. a pest exterminator.
18. a psychiatrist.
19. a healer.
20. a good listener.
21. an organizer.
22. a good father.
23. very clean.
24. sympathetic.
25. athletic.
26. warm.
27. attentive.
28. gallant.
29. intelligent.
30. funny.
31. creative.
32. tender.
33. strong.
34. understanding.
35. tolerant.
36. prudent.
37. ambitious.
38. capable.
39. courageous.
40. determined.
41. true.
42. dependable.
43. passionate.
44. compassionate.
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly.
46. love shopping.
47. be honest.
48. be very rich.
49. not stress her out.
50. not look at other girls.
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself.
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself.
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays.
* anniversaries.
* arrangements she makes.
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Show up naked.
2. Bring food
3. Bring Beer
I used the scale one 
That couch available? Mine is outside...
That couch available? Mine is outside...
NCpanther01
Registered
Funnnnneeeeeee!!! Rock you're crazy!
Rock you're crazy!
vman1300
Never Forgotten
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car
as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at
the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog,
and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car
as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at
the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog,
and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Similar threads
