> Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
> coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
> option. I will win.
>
> Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
> hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
> another
> man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
> fix
> these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
> wouldn't
> know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break
> wind,
> as a form of holy communion.
>
> Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
> and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
> never
> get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
>
> Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
> the
> store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
> like
> "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
>
> Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
> insist
> on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
> as
> much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
>
> Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
> while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
> show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
> calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
>
> Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
> The
> true answer is always either sex, motorcycles, sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to
> make
> up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
>
> Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
> Chances
> are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
> feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember
> the
> name and recommend it to others.
>
> Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
> you
> were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
> fine,
> with the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass look
> too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.
> Your
> hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
>
> Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share
> equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
> cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
> wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
>
> This has been a public service message for women to better understand
> men.
edited for Omar
> coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
> option. I will win.
>
> Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
> hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
> another
> man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
> fix
> these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
> wouldn't
> know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break
> wind,
> as a form of holy communion.
>
> Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
> and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
> never
> get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
>
> Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
> the
> store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
> like
> "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
>
> Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
> insist
> on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
> as
> much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
>
> Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
> while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
> show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
> calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
>
> Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
> The
> true answer is always either sex, motorcycles, sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to
> make
> up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
>
> Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
> Chances
> are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are
> feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember
> the
> name and recommend it to others.
>
> Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
> you
> were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
> fine,
> with the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass look
> too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.
> Your
> hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
>
> Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share
> equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
> cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
> wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
>
> This has been a public service message for women to better understand
> men.
edited for Omar
