I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by
> turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole the
> thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
>
>
> The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did
> ... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
>
>
> Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
> "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21
> and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
>
>
> My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class
> give him a hand-job. I said, "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd
> better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
>
>
> Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it
> for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It
> provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers,
> Potato Crisps, the lot...
>
>
> The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with
> me because she can't afford batteries!
>
>
> A man calls 911 and says, "I think my wife is dead." The operator says,
> "How do you know?" He says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing
> is piling up!"
>
>
> I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
> reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
> would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been
> listening."
>
>
> My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the
> worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
>
>
> I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
> children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a
> good product name.
>
>
> There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center,
> but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the
> bomber jackets.
>
>
> The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute
> towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose
> only reaches to the driveway.
>
>
>
> turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole the
> thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
>
>
> The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did
> ... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
>
>
> Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting
> "paedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21
> and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
>
>
> My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class
> give him a hand-job. I said, "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd
> better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
>
>
> Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it
> for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It
> provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers,
> Potato Crisps, the lot...
>
>
> The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with
> me because she can't afford batteries!
>
>
> A man calls 911 and says, "I think my wife is dead." The operator says,
> "How do you know?" He says, "The sex is about the same, but the ironing
> is piling up!"
>
>
> I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
> reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
> would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been
> listening."
>
>
> My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the
> worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
>
>
> I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new
> children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a
> good product name.
>
>
> There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center,
> but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the
> bomber jackets.
>
>
> The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute
> towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose
> only reaches to the driveway.
>
>
>
