Dealing with Depression

[Sum Beach]

The last year or so has been really hard on me. Lots of stress with just about every aspect of my life that I just cant seem to cope with.
Everything has changed, but it just seems like its not for the better. Some people on the .org here have met me already and know that I am a quiet, shy and very reserved person. Being depressed all the time just amplifies that greatly. I know I already have self esteem and severe trust issues with people so that does not help with me with getting out and being able to talk to people.
Since moving it has gotten worse since I litteraly have no friends here and no one to turn to.
My mind is on a downward spiral and I dont know how to stop from falling.
I used to be happy but I really dont know how to find that again.
I hate being alone in this quiet with my thoughts because they scare the hell out of me.
Just hoping maybe someone on here has delt with something similar cause I really need some help and guidance.

 

[Tufbusa]

Depression is difficult to control on your own. I'd suggest you seek professional help to get your life back in order. Sooner the better!

 

[mracer29]

Matt, things can be rough at times. I always just figure it's got to get better at some point. I assume you have a motorcycle? Go out to places people on bikes hang out, meet some new friends, through them maybe meet a new g/f things will turn around fast!

When I was traveling for work one of the first thing I did was find a place to hang out and look for a g/f. Meet new people and only trust them as far as you can throw them, as the show they can be trusted then open up a lil.

As for self esteem..... You own a Busa, that in its self makes you cool. So get out there and mingle.

 

[MC MUSTANG]

Matt,
Let me offer you this, base on nothing more than what you have written. I am not a Dr., a psychologist or therapist, but, here goes.
I was in something of a downward spiral a few years ago. I was referred to a psychologist who prescribed me medication to help ease my depression, but I was too arrogant to accept someone's help or advice and I certainly did NOT need medication. Things worsened when I received orders to a job that I absolutely did not want, in a place that I didn't want to be. My wife at the time and I drifted apart partly because I couldn't care enough about my life to work on issues that were pressing. When I deployed to Iraq, she told me the day that I arrived in country that she was leaving and would not be there when I got home. In an effort to both show her that I was willing to improve myself- and to seek out help to combat my loneliness and growing despair, I sought medical advice and almost immediately after being prescribed medication, my outlook changed. I was able to return from Iraq to move my ex and my two sons back to Las Vegas, and while on the plane to return to Iraq, my father passed away. Shortly there after, my cousin was killed in an accident, in addition to two friends from this board passing away. It was all overwhelming for me. Unfortunately, in this process, I had thoughts of ending my life; many thing simply seemed to much for me to deal with. Were it not for CAP, Omslaw, Vabusa and my friend Scott, I don't know where, or if, I would be today. I am convinced that they saved my life. While in Iraq, I went to counseling three times a week. I have a much better outlook on life; not just because I am in a better situation, but because I was able to come to terms with me and some of the sources of my spiraling depression.

I offer this, because the one thing I learned in this timeframe is that there are things that happen in our lives and there are conditions in which we exist that we are not capable of handling on our own. SEEK HELP! Try counseling, seek a support group - what you need most is a shoulder to lean on- and you will have to take the first steps to ensure that shoulder is there.

It helped me- don't be someone who succumbs to their personal stresses without a fight; sometimes the most courageous thing a person can do is admit to themselves and others that they can't go it alone.

Just my .02

Shawn

 

[mracer29]

Also the best way to get over something is to get under someone. :-) IMO OF COURSE

 

[BigBadDodge]

Im with shawn, it is never unmanly or uncool to break down and ask for help, and your talking to us so already i'd say your on the right path. I was in the same boat a few years back, was booted from my condo after my landlord let it get foreclosed on, had no family i could go to ended up having to stay with my girlfriends mom. While dealing with the stress of trying to find a place to live and dealing with her i was at my widst end. Right in the middle of all that my grandma passed away. At the time her and my grandfather were the only family i was still in contact with, and loosing the woman who basically raised me sent me into a downhill spiral fast! I will tell you this, stay away from the booze!!! I started drinking heavily and it just made things worse. During this work became my escape, i was liked and respected and could go in and forget about my problems, while i was busy things were great. Moved out of there and started hitting bike nights in a new town where i knew no one, nice part was being one of the only busa's there i always had people to talk to, made some new friends and came to realize my grandma would not have wanted me to be this way! It took alot of time and energy to work my way back up. I never went for help or medication, i'm one of those people that just deal with it. To this day i have stayed straight even after my woman of 6 years left, kept my head up, started banging a bunch of overtime and when i wasnt working i was on the bike. I now have one hell of a positive outlook on life.

Just remember this, whatever you believe in, you will never be given an obstacle or challenge that you are not able to overcome!

 

[jellyrug]

I think we have all been there, at some point or another.

Aerobic exercise and a lot of it, such as running, cycling or spinning burns those chemicals away in no time, making you feel like a king. It's a drug which has always helped me out.

Find something you like, or rather something you are passionate about, and sink most of your time into that, then meet people doing the same thing.

 

[skydivr]

Remember this, no matter how bad it looks today, tomorrow the sun can come out and shine on your face. Wishing you luck.

 

[Schism]

i can relate with you because i have been dealing with it all my life. today happens to be my "monthly slump" and my wife hates when i get like this but it passes. i have tried meds. but there are entirely too many side effects so i dumped them. yeah, therapy is most likely the way to go and will most likely benefit over time. someday i will pop in with the v.a. therapist for the "chit chat" when i'm ready. hope you get it under control and put this behind you.

 

[t5stang91]

my wife has pretty bad anxiety and depression , when she is medicated she is a totally different person and she knows it. she is happy that before we ever married i stayed there and we discussed going to the dr. she was ashamed/embaressed and wouldn't go. finally after alot of proding and her tired of being so different than what she was , she went. she is more then happy with herself now and has since weined herself down on some of the doses of medicine she was on. Please seek some assistance!!! you will appreciate it later.

 

[fallenarch]

I had a few years when things got the best of me too. I do not believe in anything that messes with my brain (even beer, wine, MJ, etc.) so i rejected the medication route. I did see a shrink but I realized that my ego would not let me let them help. Finally it got so bad that I talked to a doctor who i was building a building for and he got me to do some anti-depressants. Those things are amazing! I was not on anything so strong that it changed my personality or anything but I just didn't go to that dark place anymore (you obviously know where i'm talking about). In six months I was strong enough to get rid of the meds and move on.

All things will pass. You will only be happy if you insist on being happy because i have basically realized "don't worry about nothing cause nothing is going to be all right" (blues song from Mike Murphy and the Crawlers I think). I really believe if i hadn't taken those meds i would be dead right now. The crazy part about it is that they didn't change who i am inside or out, they just bought me some time to get my marbles back in the bag and move on with the show. It bought me some time to think with a clear mind, and you know how it gets to the point where you just can't get any peace to think.

Go get some help. Who knows there might be a Gen III next year - now do you want to miss that now do you?

 

[dk55belair]

........to add one more. Where ever you're at, just get on your knees and ask God to help you deal with things, to free your heart of all the things that cause you to worry or feel bad. He listens.

There are lots of good people here that probably live close by and love to ride and hang out with you. I wish you better days ahead.
Dk

 

[GsxrBots]

Hang in there man, we've met at the Midwest MnG last year, you're a great guy, things will turn around. I've dealt with depression when my brother died, it isn't fun. Just try to get out and get away for a while.

Do you game? I know it sounds corny, but video games TOTALLY take me away from reality. Especially since you've moved and don't really know anyone there yet. There are TONS of us old farts on here that are on Xbox Live or Playstation that can "hang" out with you for the night!

Just remember we are all here for ya, and if you need anything or time to vent or whatever, we're only finger clicks away!

-Steve

 

[stolen417]

are you in st louis?? if so i use to live there.. get out... stl is a great area for bikes..... go to the track, look up quicktime motorsports, rudy owns the shop and john works for them... they are the guys when it comes to busa's.. they race and have 7 sec busa's that can always be found at gateway.... hit up big st charles motorsports bike night, hooters bike night, showm me's bike night, cycle gear bike night and mile 277 bike night!!

 

[GoldenChild]

You get out and move about town, you will forget what depression is. the city of st louis has tons to offer everyday. I know guys that ride there, race there, go out and hang out at bike places. divert your depression to the lane of excitement called EXPLORING ST LOUIS, come back in a week and let us know how it went. there is no drug to replace happiness but life outside your place of rest is a world of fun...

The last year or so has been really hard on me. Lots of stress with just about every aspect of my life that I just cant seem to cope with.
Everything has changed, but it just seems like its not for the better. Some people on the .org here have met me already and know that I am a quiet, shy and very reserved person. Being depressed all the time just amplifies that greatly. I know I already have self esteem and severe trust issues with people so that does not help with me with getting out and being able to talk to people.
Since moving it has gotten worse since I litteraly have no friends here and no one to turn to.
My mind is on a downward spiral and I dont know how to stop from falling.
I used to be happy but I really dont know how to find that again.
I hate being alone in this quiet with my thoughts because they scare the hell out of me.
Just hoping maybe someone on here has delt with something similar cause I really need some help and guidance.

 

[tracks]

The last year or so has been really hard on me. Lots of stress with just about every aspect of my life that I just cant seem to cope with.
Everything has changed, but it just seems like its not for the better. Some people on the .org here have met me already and know that I am a quiet, shy and very reserved person. Being depressed all the time just amplifies that greatly. I know I already have self esteem and severe trust issues with people so that does not help with me with getting out and being able to talk to people.
Since moving it has gotten worse since I litteraly have no friends here and no one to turn to.
My mind is on a downward spiral and I dont know how to stop from falling.
I used to be happy but I really dont know how to find that again.
I hate being alone in this quiet with my thoughts because they scare the hell out of me.
Just hoping maybe someone on here has delt with something similar cause I really need some help and guidance.

I get panic/anxiety attacks every now and then to where i hyperventilate.
I think a lot more people are depressed these days than ever before. Whatever you do, do not take medication for it, medication only messes you up more. Exercise is the best, do not take meds.

 

[jellyrug]

I get panic/anxiety attacks every now and then to where i hyperventilate.
I think a lot more people are depressed these days than ever before. Whatever you do, do not take medication for it, medication only messes you up more. Exercise is the best, do not take meds.

+1
I know a lot of people who have taken meds and it makes things a lot worse. Exercise is the way to go. I use to go to a Hematologist for analysis, when I cycled competitively, he was really good and by looking at my blood samples and EKG, he could tell me what time I got up in the morning, when I normally go to bed, how stressed my body was and what I need to change to perform better. Long story short, my ex-wife had depression, so I sent her to Dr. Davis and he told her she will be seeing little green men in her sleep, if she did not stop the meds. He analysed her the same way he did me, treadmil, EKG, blood samples, changed her diet, gave her an exercise program and put her on Magnesium and Iron suplements, problem solved.

Wohoo, just hit 2,000 posts.

 

[newman]

I've suffered with depression for a very long time.

First off you've got to go talk to a doctor, he will most probably put you on anti-depressants, make sure you take them and give them a good chance to work, could take 3 to 4 weeks before they start to kick in.

Then if he recommends it, go talk to someone and tell them what you are going through, don't hold back on anything.

If after a while you still don't feel right talk to the doctor about the anti-depressants, Prozac don't work for me but Seroxat do.

If you get side effects tell the doctor about them, they usually go after a while.

Try and do something, I know it can be very hard, I used to just lay there and try to sleep, I couldn't listen to music or read or anything.

It's not easy but hopefully after a while you will start to notice, you don't feel so bad, and the darkness will start to lift bit by bit, and things become more controllable.

I started going to bingo with my mum, and thats where I met my girlfriend.

All this is from personal experience.

Things are very good now, I still have days when I feel down but I now know they will pass.

Good luck and best wishes to you in the future.

 

[dadofthree]

Best of luck, seek professional help, better days are ahead. Don't mean to be short but you have been given some great advice .

 

[mrsBusawhipped]

(((hugs))) kiddo! You know you are always welcome here. And I don't think it would take much of a twist to BusaWhipped's arm to get him to go for a ride! Exercise is definitly a must and definitly seek advice from a Doctor. Nothing to be ashamed of. Life throws us all curve balls and sometimes we can handle it and sometimes we need some help. Especially if it seems like life is using one of those automated pitching machines set on FAST!!! Hang in there.