Divorce agreement

StromBusa

StromBusa

Registered
I just got this email :laugh: Luv it :cheerleader:


DIVORCE AGREEMENT


THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.




Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.


Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.




You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore andRosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).


We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.



We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya orWe Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. . And we won't have to press 1 for English.
 
Dear conservatives,

We thought you believed in the sanctity of marriage. Admittedly, that was foolish of us, because you have long since proven yourselves capable of ditching any beliefs or values once they become inconvenient.

But you see you are part of this country, and it's damned petty to see the lot of you talking about separating now that your guy isn't the one in charge. We fought a war for your masterbatory fantasies. Thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqies died so you people could play cowboy. Yes, we complained, and yes we opposed your waste of human lives, but unlike you we remained faithful to the country.

We watched your favorite prodigal drug-addict run our country into the gutter just like he did every business he ever ran, and once again we complained. Yes, we complained, but we stayed. And after watching you and your drug addict write bad check after bad check we find that you are too fiscally responsible to borrow money to get our collective house in order. No, you're pretensions to fiscal conservativism don't ring true in any way shape or form, and yes we are pressing ahead with what needs to be done to set this country right. You and yours helped bankrupt us, and you can damn well stick around to help clean up the mess.

The liberal judges are mostly conservative, a fact which you would realize if you bothered reading up on their biographies, and the rest of us are getting damned tired of hearing about judges ruling by means other than the constitution. You people never read that document, so stop pretending you know what is and what is not in it. You want to debate abortion, that is fine. We have a legitimate difference of opinion there, but were it not for liberal activists judges blacks would still be unable to vote in the South or go to a decent school and none of us could enjoy the right to birth control which a substantial number of you practice right along with the rest of us. If you're against these things, then fine, say so, but stop pretending to care about constitutional principles when you can't be bothered with the details.

Your Judeo-Christian values mean nothing to you. You've never given a damn what Jesus said about anything and you know it. So, stop taking his name in vain, and don't you dare pretend you will somehow get custody of Him after this separation you want so badly. If Jesus ended up in your half of the country, it wouldn't take a fortnight before you self-righteous bastards nailed him up to another cross.

And while we're at it, you can thank liberals for the inclusion of the "Judeo" in that phrase you like to toss around. Had it been up to you, Jews would still be prevented from buying property in your neighborhood. It was liberal judges that corrected that. But of course you were probably looking foreword to going back to that anyway, ...along with Jim Crow, sexist work policies, and the use of torture in police interrogations. ...all very Christian, no doubt.

We could go over the rest of you ridiculous laundry-list, but why bother. The fact is that you people are not conservatives at all. You are simply bigots and liars. And at the end of the day, you will betray every one of the values you now claim to take with you in our impending divorce.

And when your little fantasy separation has run its course, when you've indulged your every pretension, the only traces of humanity left in your half of the country will be whatever part of liberalism stayed with you for some reason. If your half of the country is livable, it will be due to some liberal somewhere in your circle still fighting to get you to live up to some values at the end of the day. Because without us, you folks would never do that. You would never stay true to anything, not even the narrow set of values you pretend to care about now.

- Sincerely,

Brimshack Gunnaheave

P.S. It might be worth it for us if you'd please take Rush, Anne, Sean, Glenn, and Bill with you. Not a one of them cares about America, so they probably won't mind helping with your plans to destroy it.
 
Last edited:
Si senor oprime el numero uno para ingles...

Lmao.. bio diesel vehicle.. love it..
Posted via Mobile Device
 
BenWoj42 said:
Dear conservatives,

We thought you believed in the sanctity of marriage. Admittedly, that was foolish of us, because you have long since proven yourselves capable of ditching any beliefs or values once they become inconvenient.

But you see you are part of this country, and it's damned petty to see the lot of you talking about separating now that your guy isn't the one in charge. We fought a war for your masterbatory fantasies. Thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqies died so you people could play cowboy. Yes, we complained, and yes we opposed your waste of human lives, but unlike you we remained faithful to the country.

We watched your favorite prodigal drug-addict run our country into the gutter just like he did every business he ever ran, and once again we complained. Yes, we complained, but we stayed. And after watching you and your drug addict write bad check after bad check we find that you are too fiscally responsible to borrow money to get our collective house in order. No, you're pretensions to fiscal conservativism don't ring true in any way shape or form, and yes we are pressing ahead with what needs to be done to set this country right. You and yours helped bankrupt us, and you can damn well stick around to help clean up the mess.

The liberal judges are mostly conservative, a fact which you would realize if you bothered reading up on their biographies, and the rest of us are getting damned tired of hearing about judges ruling by means other than the constitution. You people never read that document, so stop pretending you know what is and what is not in it. You want to debate abortion, that is fine. We have a legitimate difference of opinion there, but were it not for liberal activists judges blacks would still be unable to vote in the South or go to a decent school and none of us could enjoy the right to birth control which a substantial number of you practice right along with the rest of us. If you're against these things, then fine, say so, but stop pretending to care about constitutional principles when you can't be bothered with the details.

Your Judeo-Christian values mean nothing to you. You've never given a damn what Jesus said about anything and you know it. So, stop taking his name in vain, and don't you dare pretend you will somehow get custody of Him after this separation you want so badly. If Jesus ended up in your half of the country, it wouldn't take a fortnight before you self-righteous bastards nailed him up to another cross.

And while we're at it, you can thank liberals for the inclusion of the "Judeo" in that phrase you like to toss around. Had it been up to you, Jews would still be prevented from buying property in your neighborhood. It was liberal judges that corrected that. But of course you were probably looking foreword to going back to that anyway, ...along with Jim Crow, sexist work policies, and the use of torture in police interrogations. ...all very Christian, no doubt.

We could go over the rest of you ridiculous laundry-list, but why bother. The fact is that you people are not conservatives at all. You are simply bigots and liars. And at the end of the day, you will betray every one of the values you now claim to take with you in our impending divorce.

And when your little fantasy separation has run its course, when you've indulged your every pretension, the only traces of humanity left in your half of the country will be whatever part of liberalism stayed with you for some reason. If your half of the country is livable, it will be due to some liberal somewhere in your circle still fighting to get you to live up to some values at the end of the day. Because without us, you folks would never do that. You would never stay true to anything, not even the narrow set of values you pretend to care about now.

- Sincerely,

Brimshack Gunnaheave

P.S. It might be worth it for us if you'd please take Rush, Anne, Sean, Glenn, and Bill with you. Not a one of them cares about America, so they probably won't mind helping with your plans to destroy it.
Click to expand...



As usual, liberal diatribe makes no sense. Brush your teeth and go to bed. I know you are a bed wetter..............
 
Dear Conservatives,

Well, if this is what it's come to, fine. Sorry it didn't work out.

We progressives would prefer to stick with our family values and work things out rather than go through a divorce based on irreconcilable differences. We always believe things can be worked out.

However, since your history is slavery, segregation, the degradation of women, and misrepresenting Christianity (any conservative decree that involves demonizing liberals and invoking the Bible is completely undone by the fact that Jesus Christ was probably the biggest liberal in human history), and being quite aware of the fact that the divorce rate is higher amongst conservatives than with "liberals", we just may consider your offer.

We liberals may have our heads in the clouds (what with our optomistic and hopeful view of the future), but fortunately (for us) and unfortunately (for you), we have the lion'’s share of the lawyers. Now lawyers are tricky devils, and they tell me you forgot to divide some rather important property. Should you agree to the following, I'm sure our divorce will be fair and amicable and we won'’t put up too much of a fuss:

First:
We progressives will take and accept all Americans, including the ones you deem unacceptable due to race, religion, sexual orientation, or political ideology. Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to us, we are the ones that lift our lamp beside the golden door.

To these people we will provide the best public education system in the world. Through education we will bring millions out of poverty to create a vibrant middle class. We will provide universal health care so that no family has to worry about medical expenses ruining life as they know it. We will provide social programs that build stronger communities and create productive citizens. We will invest in infrastructure to build roads, bridges, schools, libraries and public parks. We will ensure our citizens are paid a living wage. We will use a tax code that allows all Americans to have an acceptable standard of living. This will work for us since red states, on average, spend more federal dollars than they take in, and blue states, on average, bring in more federal dollars than they spend. Over 80% of '€œred states'€ receive more federal aid each year than they pay in federal taxes (The Tax Foundation - Educating Taxpayers Since 1937). So glad you won't be freeloading off of us any longer.

Second:
You take high gasoline prices and mega houses, and we'll take electric cars, solar panels, and wind mills. We'’ll put up with some short term sacrifices so that so we aren'’t supporting the mega rich oil nations that are bent on our destruction. You can continue to do business with the House of Saud. You can keep your SUVs and the corresponding dependence on foreign oil. Our citizens will drive their fuel efficient cars and use public transportation while enjoying cleaner air, a smaller gasoline bill, and foreign policy that isn'’t beholden to OPEC. We'll work to properly insulte and install energy efficiency measures in all building and construction so our familes can stay comfortable without spending a fortune on heating and cooling bills. We'll generate elctricity through the power of the tides rather than despoil our beautiful coastline by putting up polluting offshore oil derricks. As for ANWAR, we will gladly accept it and add it to our pristine environment that was preserved through environmentally friendly practices and renewable resources.

Third:
We'’ll take the open source programmers, and the other denizens of Silicon Valley, all those hippies who invented the personal computer, like Stve Jobs and Bill Gates, and you can take the graduates of Bob Jones University who believe man walked with dinosaurs. Of course, you won'’t have any vaccines or antibiotics for infectious diseases since those medicines are developed solely on the theory of evolutionary biology, but we'’ll cede to you the '“laying on of hands'†for your medical R&D.; And let us not forget that your conservative legislators can simply pass laws against viruses or bacterium. Wow, conservatives really do have a comprehensive medical plan!

Fourth:
As it appears that you are not familiar with common geography, perhaps this is due to Republican efforts to cut funding for public schools, Wall Street will stay with us (for better or worse), as it is located in New York City which you initially conceded along with Chicago, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. However, we will regulate Wall Street so that greedy traders do not gamble with the retirement accounts of our citizens.

Fifth:
Remember that Universal Health Care is our baby. We sincerely hope you will find a job that will give you health care and hasn'’t gone obsolete or been shipped overseas.

Sixth:
I don'’t think you can take all of the Armed Forces. Colin Powell and the other Obama supporters in the Armed Forces (over 45%) will probably come with us. Therefore we will not concede the military to you because we also serve in the military and support our troops. We are not opposed to all wars, just unnecessary and avoidable wars. We will use our military to effectively fight terrorism, not invade unrelated countries and in turn create more terrorists and Arab angst. Please also be aware that we will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't recognize their children's sacrifices by not showing pictures of their caskets coming home.

Do you really not hate wars?

Seventh:
We will support the arts and have a thriving culture created by a community of writers, artists, musicians, and philosophers. We will gladly keep Hollywood and any other form of free speech deemed unacceptable or unpatriotic by your fascist state. If there are any books that you want to burn, simply send them to us. Our citizens will be entertained and intellectually stimulated while yours will simply be fed mindless propaganda.

I would imagine that when we take all the "“liberal" Hollywood producers, you'’ll find a number of conservatives who crossover to see their favorite TV programs or big budget films. TV and movies made by conservatives don’t play so well with the masses, liberal or conservative. And I'm betting that more time is spent by conservatives watching TV and movies than reading the Bible and going to church.

As for food, we in the blue states will be just fine. What's that, you haven't heard? California is the # 5 agricultural producer in the entire world, and the # 1 state by far in terms of agricultural production. Throw in the other blue states and we'll have plenty of food, increasingly organically grown, to keep us, and our natural environment, healthy and happy. Yes its true, we do have farms. Lots of them. In case you didn't realize, almonds, grapes, lettuce, apples, oranges, pineapples, banana and a slew of other products, are grown almost exclusively in blue states. Blue states control 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce production, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French or Argentinian wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese production.

Of course, the red states won't have their agriculture supported by the blue states any more. No more farm subsidies financed by blue state tax dollars. No one to sell your excess crops to. But you'll have plenty of high-fructose corn syrup!

Sincerely Yours,
A Proud, Patriotic, & Progressive, (& Thinking) American who reads the Bible, loves his family, and works his tail off to provide for them
 
Where did I put that EASY button?...........Hey just had to reply to the nonsense, from both sides. Have yourself a good day and be safe.
 
BenWoj42 said:
Sincerely Yours,
A Proud, Patriotic, & Progressive, (& Thinking) American who reads the Bible, loves his family, and works his tail off to provide for them and all the illegals and poverty stricken people who are leaching off the system and giving nothing but drugs and crime back
Click to expand...

fixed it for you:whistle:
 
how about this.....

we can devide the country into thirds. give the right and left the right and left sides and let the center be for the moderates of both sides.

you guys can thump your bibles, become socialists or even communists.....or do what ever you like.

we in the center will be happy to leave both of you radicals to your own devices....let the reasonable, logical center to prosper without the shackles of the religion or welfare holding us back.

PS: a closed mind is a dangerous mind.....and some of you are just plain scary.
 
I am confused, I have my busa and diesel truck, where does that leave me? :laugh:
 
lol.....

i got no problem if you want to pray to god.....and i got no problem that you think gov. should provide services for the people.

the problem is when you are so set in your ideology that you tell me that the problem with schools that there is not "prayer time".

the problem with school is that the kids can't read or write.

the same on the other end, sure it would be nice if the gov. could help people that needed it. but when the system is broken, or is bankrupting the country....something must be changed.
 
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