Help me decide......Horrible phone call to get

[NCBusa2001]

I agree. The school won't follow through. By all means, PRESS CHARGES and get them in the system early.

Preach situational awareness to your son (mine is almost 11). Escape and Evade to safety, since you aren't allowed to defend yourself in the NC school system anymore.

Sorry for your ordeal, but hopefully it was an eyeopener to your son as well. 2 on 1 now is awful, but 2 on 1 a few years from now in high school could be devastating (or deadly).

I pray for our states children daily.

Chris

 

[outlawbusa]

Let your first minute with the other parents be your guide.

I've seen this a few times here and I agree...see how the parents react and if they are going to accept taking care of their kids in a genuine way. Some parents these days just seem to care less than their kids do, and that hurts.

The history of the kid tells a lot, I've seen some in this generation simply grow up bad and not want to change, some have ended up in jail or detention a few times before even reaching legal age and never seems to phase them a bit, that's the scariest thing of all...they have no desire to straighten out their lives.

I am only talking about the negs, don't forget about the good ones that mess up once or twice then start figuring things out...but anyway, I would definitely see how the parents act towards you, your kid, and their own kids and go from there~!~

 

[BIG GUY]

This is right up my alley. Before I got laid off, I did security at a high school. If I were you, I would press charges on both of the kids. I have seen it too many times that kids get off to easy for some serious problems that they cause. There are kids at schools that have severe histories of violence and problems with authority. They are allowed to get away with things from the school side because the school just wants to keep them in school to get the money for them.

 

[BIG GUY]

I would not trust what these parents on how they are gonna punish the kid. I have had some parents tell me they were gonna take care of the punishment for the kids, but I find out that they only told me they would handle everything so they wouldn't have to do anything extra with their kids if I were to do the punishment.

I have worked with some kids that get bullied/pushed around. Some of them end up getting their a@# beat by the bully. I am a firm believer in sticking up for yourself and not letting anyone push you around. When some of the kids hear this, they automatically think I am telling them it's ok to fight. I am not saying this. What I am saying is if the verbal abuse starts, they should give it right back to the bully.

 

[Schism]

I can understand your frustration...been there before. I have a 13 and 16 yr old i can send your way to work em' over, you know just for some initial satisfaction....:sneaky:

i like your way of thinking.

 

[memorex]

I wish I could pound the kids that did this to him, but I'm to old. The sad thing is their parents probably don't care.

Thanks for taking your time to read this.

When my aunt and uncle had a problem with their neighbor kid giving my cousin a hard time. They had me stay the weekend. I didn't know why until I seen him pushing her around. Needless to say, she never had any problems after that weekend.

 

[JoshS]

Thanks everyone for your support and help.

I owe you all a BEER

 

[gloryboys]

Sorry to hear about this either way it's bullying. I to would first see how the other parents react then decide on action. I did have a friend who had a similar issue with his kid getting beat upon, school did nothing so he went to the parents house as they didn't give a you know what their kid got up to, now my friend is big I mean 6' 4'' he asked to speak to the man of the house and in no uncertain terms told him that for every time his kid beat on the son he would come round and do it to him... It stopped, Suuurprise.Hope ypu get this sorted real soon.

 

[DetroitBusa]

Well as everyone is saying, see how the parents act, but a lot of people can be two-faced. They may act like they care at school, but just throw it in the corner at home.

Just remember, if you go on with charges, will the kids retaliate on your son again? Some kids just don't care.

 

[afterhours]

first thing you need to try and figure out:

is this just "boys being boys"....we all got into scraps as a kid, its part of growing up. It just how men are made, and shapes how we interact with others...

or

Is this kid a predator, a bully and did he target your son.....

if its just a boys fight, that was a result of some percieved insult or whatever. use it as a learning experience, find your boy a good martial arts school and see what happens. going overboard on this could bad for your boy. think about how you would have dealt with your father, over-reacting to a simple boys fight.


on the other hand, if this kids is dangerous..and is targeting your son and others, press charges, hold the school accountable as well. I am sure you could find a decent lawyer to take this on for free or contingency to take the school,principal and even school district to court for not taking care of your boy.

 

[black07busa]

Sorry that happened to your son. The truth is they are all children and you need to talk to the other parents to resolve the problem. Keep in mind that no parent likes to admit that their child has done wrong, until the child admits it to them. Some children are passive and others are agressive its just life.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

I'm so sorry this happened to your son. Stay on top of the school to follow through, if that means a visit and phone calls every day then so be it. Have a meeting with the Principle and parents and let them know this kind of behavior toward your child will NOT be tolerated and you are considering filing charges. If you don't already have a copy of school policies then get one, could come in handy if they decide to let the child come back early from suspension (I've seen this happen before). You may also want to contact the school board just to let them know you want this matter to be resolved and not shoved under the carpet.
Nobody is going to love your child like you do so you do what's best for him and don't let let the school get away with anything. Be reasonable but be VERY firm in your stance.



Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[zukracer]

I think you need to stay the course, get in touch with the school, school board, board of education and the other kids parents. Perhaps a mediated meeting with the principle and all parents would work best, that way the school can confirm the issue(s) with the other kids. You can seek an agreement with the school as the witness and all can be held accountable.

At the same time, get your son into some classes. Find a school that teaches defensive tactics, jujitsu is good as it will allow him to defend himself from larger attackers better than some of the others. Also if you can find a school that teaches pressure points (and not the ones for massage ) you will find that you can subdue an attacker without leaving even a bruise if done correctly

Good luck, let us know how it turns out.

 

[goblinsix]

A few things here....

First, confronting most partents isn't going to do much other than get you into a confrontation with them. Most parents don't see their kids as ever doing wrong. So this is basically pointless. My opinion is that people are basically stupid---and their kids are often spawns of them which repeats the cycle. I've seen 40 years of this crap.

Second, boys will be boys and they do fight. The bottom line here is "what" were the circumstances around what actually went down. If it's a matter of assault then charges should be filed and it should become a legal matter. Going in and listening to parents babble or a principal ramble about policy and proceedure isn't going to go very far in helping the situation unless there were medical damages to be collected or assault charges to be filed.

Unfortunately a few boys getting into a rumble in a school bathroom isn't going to go very far unless somebody turned it racial. Then it would get all kinds of "special handling" and attention. It's all about the circumstances. The honest best thing to do here is to get your son some training as a special gift and turn this whole thing into a positive spin. Focus on him. I earned a 2nd degree black belt in Tang Soo Do and a 1st degree black belt in TKD and it was the best thing my parents ever did for me. I started in 7th grade and continued well into my mid-20s. What it taught me was how to avoid fights and to develop a better sense of what is going on around me.

In all seriousness---see what you can do with the school but don't expect much. Just move along and devote the energy into giving your son the tools to survive and avoid such things when he gets older and the stakes go up. To date I walk very softly but carry a big stick. Give him those tools. Jumping around in a principal's office isn't going to yield much.

 

[DREW]

Get in a good Karate school. Black belt can be obtained in 5 years or less in most cases. Chines Kenpo would be my recomendation. Private lessons rather than group. Good luck. Check Tracyskarate.com

 

[red1100cc]

do not press charges on a 6th grader! common really, kids need these interactions at that age. the other boys are already getting suspended for a time.
i just do not believe it was unprovoked! ask your son, there's always a reason.
its "getting these kids in the system" that creates criminals.
fighting is a part of childhood. its wrong that kids can no longer settle thier arguments with a good ol fight, hockey rules, 1st one to go down looses, and that it, argument settled, without the police getting involved.
if kids do not experience these kind of conflicts in a controlled environment (school), then they might go into adulthood thinking they can go anywhere they want, saying anything they want without repercussions.
if you don't know what its like to get punched in the kisser, you might run your neck in a bar and get stabbed in the kidney.
or they are too scared to ever take on thier bully, and it build up, and builds up, til they just shoot the bully and blow away 1/2 their class for good measure.

so your kid got knocked around a little at school. the bullies are expelled for 10 days. leave it at that. and if you are going to do "something", get involved in his school more, volunteer and get to know the kids and parents of the kids your son goes to school with.

my daddy always told me going to school "have fun, learn lots of stuff, don't take no crap from anyone." only got into a few fights, walked away from some, ran from others, never really did ever win a fight but didn't loose ether. its all part of growing up.

hope i didn't ruffle your feathers, its just my 2 cents.

 

[JoshS]

I went to the school and one kid got suspended yesterday and then got arrested on the school bus. The other kid got suspended today.

Lets make one thing clear I am NOT whining about my kid losing a fight, but it wasnt a fair fight. He was blindsided by some punks and didn't really have a chance. There was no reason that I am aware of for what happened. My child is a pretty nice kid, not saying that he couldnt be bad one day. He doesnt get into trouble.

These kids have a history of acting out and just being all around useless. Their parents have tried to handle them but its not working.

Looking into MMA classes because I myself have been wanting to get into it. I love UFC.

Thanks again

 

[BusaPops]

My son has high functioning aspergers and was very violent in his younger years. He attacked several kids on different occasions. The schools did nothing but suspend him and send him home....54 times in 8 years of grade school. I hated answering the phone when the school board called. He ended up shooting another student in our house one day....it was not good. The student survived but has terrible scars on his face. I spent major bucks getting my son a decent defense, I'm his dad, I had to. The courts were strict but fair - - and that is what smartened him up. He is an excellent student in high school now and is studying to be a lawyer.

I would make the younger students be responsible now and maybe you can avoid things down the road. Charge them.

 

[afterhours]

I went to the school and one kid got suspended yesterday and then got arrested on the school bus. The other kid got suspended today.

Lets make one thing clear I am NOT whining about my kid losing a fight, but it wasnt a fair fight. He was blindsided by some punks and didn't really have a chance. There was no reason that I am aware of for what happened. My child is a pretty nice kid, not saying that he couldnt be bad one day. He doesnt get into trouble.

These kids have a history of acting out and just being all around useless. Their parents have tried to handle them but its not working.

Looking into MMA classes because I myself have been wanting to get into it. I love UFC.

Thanks again

not attacking you, but there is always a reason....

it could be stupid as "what are you looking" or a joke that was taken the wrong way....

or the one kid wanted to show off to his friend, by beating up someone for no reason.


my point is.....there is always a reason, it may be stupid. identifying why this happened may help your boy recognize the problem situation and avoid it next time. at the very least remind him not to go into the bathroom alone if a guys like this are waiting for you.


I moved around a lot as a child, i was always the "new kid" and dealt with many bullies and cliques of "cool kids". 2 things i learned :

1. when a another male asks you "what are you looking at", he wants to fight and there is little you are going to say to de-escalate the situation.

2. a good crisp jab to the nose, can calm down alot of attitude.

knowing how to protect yourself is more than just knowing how to throw a punch.

 

[SANDFLEA85]

man,I hate hearing this,I have an 11yr old son and cant tell you how many times he has gotten in trouble in school for sticking up for kids that get bullied. yeah,I kid you not, an 11 yr old that hates bullies. my son has been involved in MMA for 3 yrs now but even before that,if he seen a kid getting picked on,weather he knows him or not he always ran right over to help him out. he has a huge heart.

I have 5 boys form 19 to 1 yr old,I told them all from day one,if anyone touches you,you have my permission to kick the sh!t out of them and I will deal with the teachers and parents, nobody has a right to touch you but I dont want to hear about you punching anyone just because they called you a name or teased you, you just forget about that and move on. didnt take long for ppl to realize, dont fk with these kids. they are all very respectful and polite but know they can defend themselves when needed and know how to. bottom line, you need to have a heart to heart with your son man and let him know life is cruel and you will not always be there to protect him, he needs to stand up for himself

and dont think twice about visiting the kids fathers and sending the same message man....lead by example!!