I have failed as a parent. Just found out

Hang in there; now's the time to show her what DAD really means.

What I want to know is how a 24 year old man, not a student, is inside a high school?

yeah you and me both, how does a 24 yr old get into a school? somethings not right..

hang in there brother, just give her the support she will need
 
Preliminary hearing. I guess they want her to testify against the guy. He as admitted guilt to this Oh and it is his second such threat

Sounds like you have your answer there, teenagers are impressionable to say the least. As others have said I'm sure you have laid out right and wrong well enough that later in life she will follow right along, once the hormones and chatter in her ear from teenage friends clears. For what its worth during middle school our 8th grade trip was canceled, this was a week or two after the shooting at Columbine. Like an idoit I said something off-color about how those kids may have had it right of course I was way, way out of line and I meant it as a joke to solely the kids right in front of me. The teacher asked me to repeat myself and instead of saying "nothing, I said something stupid and unintentional" I went for laughs and repeated myself. Next I knew I was being escorted away from class with a police officer and an hour later my Mom was sobbing in the principal's office next to me and I was explaining what a jacka$$ thing that was to say. I wasn't raised like that, I didn't actually mean it, I said something stupid. Life goes on, your daughter could have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and if she was should have reported it. However HS is a difficult place, and ratting on your friends isn't a foot in for popularity. I am sure this experience will be enough for her to realize how something stupid like this can really throw a wrench into the front wheels of her life.

Best of luck!
 
you haven't failed until you stop trying to show her the way to become the best person she can be...my parents did everything they knew how to do to get me to follow the path they thought was right...at that age, i was mixed up in all kinds of stuff and constantly getting into trouble and they finally had enough and gave me the boot...i don't blame them at all but i also don't listen to anything they have to say about how i should live my life...i consider their quitting as just that and walked away

the most important thing is to let her know that you still love her no matter what happened...you may not agree with her choices or actions but that will never tear your arms from around her or cause you to turn your back on her...sometimes, we have to bear the bumps and bruises of our life choices but that shouldn't come between the two of you or make you feel like you have failed...you have my number if you need someone to listen
 
Good parenting is about what you do when your kid isn't doing the right thing... Everyone's a great parent until the kid steps in it (and they all do)... Listen, be supportive, find out the facts, don't be a rube and blindly believe your kid did nothing wrong, accept responsibility for your kid and expect your kid to accept responsibility, make amends and move on... This sounds like juvenile jackassery, but because of the world we live in - becomes much more serious!

Good luck - show disapproval of your kids actions not your kid.

Don't really get how a 24 YO thought this was a good idea?
 
First Thank you to everyone for the support.

Just returned from court. I was able to get my hands on the police report. My daughter was NOT involved other than to be a party to a conversation off of school grounds. She was called as a witness along with another girl who also heard the conversation. My daughter is clear and a good kid. This was blown out of proportion by her mother and grandmother. And now I have all of the facts.
I did explain to her that being a witness to the conversation and not reporting it she could be held responsible. I also explained to her that if that had not been a hoax and a real bomb was planted and hurt or killed someone like a friend of hers and she did not report it that she would have to live with those nightmares for the rest of her life.
She understands what she should have done. I also explained she does not have to tell the police or school officials if she feels uncomfortable doing so, she can tell me, her grandfather or her uncle and we will handle it for her.

I let her know how much I love her and want to see her do right and well.

Again thank you for all of the support and words of wisdom, it really makes me feel better and glad to know I have family here.

Love all of you.
Kevin
 
Good Luck with this one Kevin. You are on your own with this one. None of us can help you although we all would if we could.

Please keep us informed on what happens in court. Parenting from the outside in is difficult at best. Hopefully, she will learn from this experience.
 
First Thank you to everyone for the support.

Just returned from court. I was able to get my hands on the police report. My daughter was NOT involved other than to be a party to a conversation off of school grounds. She was called as a witness along with another girl who also heard the conversation. My daughter is clear and a good kid. This was blown out of proportion by her mother and grandmother. And now I have all of the facts.
I did explain to her that being a witness to the conversation and not reporting it she could be held responsible. I also explained to her that if that had not been a hoax and a real bomb was planted and hurt or killed someone like a friend of hers and she did not report it that she would have to live with those nightmares for the rest of her life.
She understands what she should have done. I also explained she does not have to tell the police or school officials if she feels uncomfortable doing so, she can tell me, her grandfather or her uncle and we will handle it for her.

I let her know how much I love her and want to see her do right and well.

Again thank you for all of the support and words of wisdom, it really makes me feel better and glad to know I have family here.

Love all of you.
Kevin
Thanks for the follow-up, and VERY glad your daughter has come out ok. I'm sure she has learned some important lessons. Including how much her dad loves her. Should be something good for Thanksgiving! :)
 
Outstanding. She just got a 'life-lesson' about paying attention to who so does and DOES NOT hang out with....choose your friends wisely!
 
So do you consider her mistake as bad and as forgiveable as a couple of young girls who sped away from a cop?
That unfortunate split second poor decision unfortunately cost them their lives. I'm glad Your daughter wasn't riding or driving...aren't you now?
No offense either, but ALL kids make poor choices at one time or another.
I'm glad it wasn't any worse, and a good lesson if nothing else.
 
So do you consider her mistake as bad and as forgiveable as a couple of young girls who sped away from a cop?
That unfortunate split second poor decision unfortunately cost them their lives. I'm glad Your daughter wasn't riding or driving...aren't you now?
No offense either, but ALL kids make poor choices at one time or another.
I'm glad it wasn't any worse, and a good lesson if nothing else.


BIG difference between stealing a car and running from the cops than hearing a conversation about someone calling in a bomb threat.

That is all I will say about your comment. SOrry
 
Alot of us feel that we failed in one way or another but we as parents have to realize that our kids start becoming thier own people and we can't change that . They make decisions that we have no control of and alot of it is because of things that go on around them . I remember a few years ago 4 kids stole a stop sign to hang in their garage . all good kids , well someone ran the intersection and killed someone else . They were charged with manslaughter. It wasn't the parents fault . they were kids doing a dumb thing . Heck , in my high school we used to have bomb threats called in just because people didn't want to do a test . It happens , kids don't think about the consequenses of thier actions .I hope everything works out and all involved learn a leason .
 
I am glad everything worked out for you and your daughter. Like someone else said we never fail as parents as long as we don't give up on them. Some kids follow some lead and some just try to fit in and any cost. Keep her close and let her know you love her and will be there for her and I believe everything will be ok for you both.:thumbsup:
 
Sometime No Matter what you do.............Your kids can end up in the wrong crowd and **** happens. Stop Kicking yourself in the Arse for this one. Hopefully she will learn by her mistakes and move on. WE ALL make them :rulez: Especially when we are young and impressionable. If you are a Good Role Model for her and I think you are..............She will eventually follow in your footsteps.........:please:

Robert

So true
 
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