High School Teacher Arrested!
Yesterday, at New York's Kennedy airport, a high school teacher
was arrested trying to board a flight with a ruler, a
protractor,a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious al-gebra movement and is charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said, "they desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off
on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code
names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,'
but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
Besides, the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say there are
3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.
President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better
weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more
fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given
us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these
math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus
disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
circumferences,we must differentiate their root, make our
point, and draw the line."
Yesterday, at New York's Kennedy airport, a high school teacher
was arrested trying to board a flight with a ruler, a
protractor,a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious al-gebra movement and is charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said, "they desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off
on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code
names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,'
but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
Besides, the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say there are
3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.
President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better
weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more
fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given
us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these
math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus
disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every
sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
circumferences,we must differentiate their root, make our
point, and draw the line."
