My Dad could use some extra thoughts today...

nothing but thoughts and prayers going out to your dad and you:please:
 
Rollin20z said:
VAB,
It's 100% your decision to do what you feel is right for you. But I can tell you with almost 99.9% certainty he is probably saying that to try and comfort you in some way, that way they believe it will not seem as bad as it may be to others and they tend to believe it makes it easier on everyone else if they can try and deal with it themselves. I went thru some of the same things in the beginning with my wife when there were things I had to go get done and she would be either at home or in the hospital. She would say "go get it done I'll be fine, I'll just take a nap or watch tv" and she would call me just for random stuff just to talk. And I could tell as soon as I got back her stress/fear level would just go away to almost nothing, it was almost like as soon as she would see me walk in you could see the worry and fear just wash away from her and she would be able to rest or relax unwillingly. Even though they say it's ok and their fine I believe there's nothing better for them but having loved one's their with them during times like this.



I know that's a tough thing to hear and something you wish you would never have to. But I guess I have learned that noone knows best except for themselves and their bodies as to how much they can endure. And when they decide they cannot keep going thru it anymore we have to come to terms with it somehow and respect their wishes because we are not the ones having poison put into our bodies and enduring the pain it causes. And then the best medicine for them is love and caring from the ones they love. Cause even during my wife's last hospital stay and she was under sedation the nurses and family would say she knew when I wasn't there beside her(either restroom or get a bite to eat) cause her vitals would just start bouncing around and nothing they did or adjusted made any difference but when I got back they would settle right down. So even sedated they can sense/know who is there with them. And remember even in ICU if(unless something pretty bad is happening)you or mom? or another family member can be with him 24hrs a day if you wish, they may have strict visiting hours and try to make you leave but if you insist and if need be call the head of the hospital and you can stay.

I don't mean to try and make our 2 circumstances seem the same but in a way they may be. My point is if you are close with him it will mean so much to him whether he admits it or not if his close loved ones are there with him. Even though it may just be a bad spell right now and everything can spin around 180 degrees and next week he can be at home enjoying a family cookout, when god forbid the inevitable does happen you both will know you were always there for each other and hopefully you will never question if you should have done anything differently.

Thoughts and Prayers coming your way.....
Click to expand...

I really appreciate your thoughts and insight. I know my Dad very well and he and I are so much alike, it's scary as hell :laugh: I wouldn't want anyone coming to my side right now, and I know *if* I show up, it'll stress him more than me not being there. Just how he is...

He is in very capable hands, and he's keeping me posted via txts, so I know he's alert and that's a great sign to me. His sisters know this about him too; it is frustrating, but it's more frustrating to know you're stressing him more by being there...

Thanks to everyone for the thougths and prayers :please:
 
Latest word is his BP is up...they are getting him stabilized and will keep him in ICU tonight...as long as he remains stable and all is OK, he'll go home tomorrow.
 
omslaw said:
Latest word is his BP is up...they are getting him stabilized and will keep him in ICU tonight...as long as he remains stable and all is OK, he'll go home tomorrow.
Click to expand...

awesome news, thanks Omar
 
Prayers and positive thoughts sent to you and your family!

Sent from my DROID2 using Tapatalk
 
Thanks everyone! Looks like his BP is improving and he can come home soon :hug:

Via DROID X
 
Rollin20z said:
VAB,
It's 100% your decision to do what you feel is right for you. But I can tell you with almost 99.9% certainty he is probably saying that to try and comfort you in some way, that way they believe it will not seem as bad as it may be to others and they tend to believe it makes it easier on everyone else if they can try and deal with it themselves. I went thru some of the same things in the beginning with my wife when there were things I had to go get done and she would be either at home or in the hospital. She would say "go get it done I'll be fine, I'll just take a nap or watch tv" and she would call me just for random stuff just to talk. And I could tell as soon as I got back her stress/fear level would just go away to almost nothing, it was almost like as soon as she would see me walk in you could see the worry and fear just wash away from her and she would be able to rest or relax unwillingly. Even though they say it's ok and their fine I believe there's nothing better for them but having loved one's their with them during times like this.



I know that's a tough thing to hear and something you wish you would never have to. But I guess I have learned that noone knows best except for themselves and their bodies as to how much they can endure. And when they decide they cannot keep going thru it anymore we have to come to terms with it somehow and respect their wishes because we are not the ones having poison put into our bodies and enduring the pain it causes. And then the best medicine for them is love and caring from the ones they love. Cause even during my wife's last hospital stay and she was under sedation the nurses and family would say she knew when I wasn't there beside her(either restroom or get a bite to eat) cause her vitals would just start bouncing around and nothing they did or adjusted made any difference but when I got back they would settle right down. So even sedated they can sense/know who is there with them. And remember even in ICU if(unless something pretty bad is happening)you or mom? or another family member can be with him 24hrs a day if you wish, they may have strict visiting hours and try to make you leave but if you insist and if need be call the head of the hospital and you can stay.

I don't mean to try and make our 2 circumstances seem the same but in a way they may be. My point is if you are close with him it will mean so much to him whether he admits it or not if his close loved ones are there with him. Even though it may just be a bad spell right now and everything can spin around 180 degrees and next week he can be at home enjoying a family cookout, when god forbid the inevitable does happen you both will know you were always there for each other and hopefully you will never question if you should have done anything differently.

Thoughts and Prayers coming your way.....
Click to expand...

I know you are trying to do the right thing but what VABUSA really NEEDS is HOPE !!!!!!!!!!! I Pray from the Bottom of My Heart that Things will be OK....

Robert
 
I missed this yesterday. I'm glad things are looking up and he's getting stablized. Please let us know if you need anything. My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
Thanks everyone. It means SO MUCH and yesterday I was stuck at work and had my moments of falling apart. I'm so fortunate to have a wonderful supervisor that kept telling me to go do whatever I needed to, and I work with my best friend Rita, who was ready to drop everything and drive me to UVA to be with my Dad. I stayed put and by the time I went to bed last night, I knew Dad was doing better and going to be heading home today.

I left first thing to get him, he's home and he's so worn out. He had a rough reaction to the IL-2 that not only dropped his BP, but he had a lot of unexplained pain in his shoulders that would not go away. He was in great hands and I could tell today when I arrived, he'd charmed the nurses and they were just happy he was better and able to head home.

He gets a break for now...not sure where we go from here, but I told Omar today that I just focus on the hurdles and that's all he seems to focus on too...if you try to take it all in as a race, it overwhelms. Thanks for listening baby :love:

Special thanks to Jay Willie for giving me a call today on my drive to UVA. Meant a lot to talk to him about some of what's going on :hug:
 
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