My two cents.
It is commonly known that many of the world's brightest celebrities suffer from bipolar disorder which more commonly known as manic depression. If Mr. Robin Williams suffered this way it would make sense and explain why he could take his own life. It would also explain why he was so dependent on cocaine in his career.
RIP
Now for some insight. Here goes the drum roll.. I have suffered from bouts of severe depression in my life that I at times believed could be cyclical and was close to throwing in the towel and self diagnosing as Bi-polar. However, it is my genuine belief that the Science of Psychology is still in its infancy and that many people are classified as something or another just for the sake of classification. Combine that with our government's ever expanding oversight and this becomes a gun control argument but let us digress from that.
Human beings and creatures of the earth suffer from these things. Do you ever wonder why that cat just ran in front of the car? Just playing chicken? Doubtful.
As for me, I am really hard on myself and dwell and dwell and dwell on some failure real or imagined until it shuts me down. That is precisely why I can't identify with any disorder.. What I have is beat yourself up and make yourself feel like a loser syndrome. It takes a fair amount of self help and personal exploration for growth in order to shed the mechanisms and merely recognizing the mechanisms to depression is a gigantic undertaking. My personal situation has at times been helped by not being left alone. Either, having a caring relationship or say being in a place that takes suicide awareness and prevention very seriously.
Once, when in a particularly bad cycle of self hate, I had a young NCO engage me, saying and asking: "Hey Jose, you seem pretty down, you don't talk and I am concerned about you. Are you thinking of hurting yourself?"
I said, something like, I am feeling crappy but no, not going there. Thanks
(This was on my first contract in Iraq in the first few months just hating having to be there and not doing much to enjoy the time just work, eat and sleep, but I got into Photography again, Got swole in the gym and got into Karaoke... It was amazing until I left)
Wow... It annoyed me and I felt invaded because to not answer would be confirmation that I was thinking of hurting myself. I had entertained the thought but I wouldn't take that step. I have found myself at that point time and time again thinking internally, God, I'm better off dead.... Then I think of the damage that would cause, the suffering and cost of burial. Shoot, my dad really trained me with financial guilt. Funnily enough, it is something I am reminded of on this visit. He just can't help himself to castigate about every little way I cost him to exist. The old bass-tardo LOL...
I am not the guy to jump, cut or blast myself into oblivion and to be honest, I just get fed up with running into the cycle of thoughts when it rears its ugly head. So, I stay distracted, I chase adventure and excitement, I battle to find a new challenge.. Sure, some or most would say, man that Projekt character is crazy as hell. But, walk a mile in my shoes and plug your USB into my database and maybe you would see why I walk my path.
Folks, Robin Williams took his own life because he found himself alone. Nobody was there to prevent it or nobody cared enough to look into the man and recognize the signs.
He was a major coke addict back in the prime of his career. Coke addicts tend to have underlying issues with depression and use it to stay functional through the down times. Imagine being a comedian expected and pressured to perform again and again regardless of whether your mood is up or down? How would you cope? Now imagine that your producer or agent sees that in you and slaps a mirror with lines of blow in front of you to have a little bump and get ready for work? This is the mechanism that hurt Robin and hurts so many other performers.
Now say, you are sixty three years old and your career is on the foothills of the downslope. You are back on TV for heavens sake and nobody wants you for film roles, and those have defined your career and your pride for so long. You think being on TV is miserable and wish you could be up at the top again... Nobody is there to console you and just like that, you crash into a dungeon of depression that makes your chest hurt so bad and your mind race with negativity and your body ache and your sleep suffer. And, nobody sees it.... Just you...
The belt in the closet starts looking like a solution as messed up as it is. Hey, at least you can have an open casket funeral and go out with that last hurrah... Just saying.
It is a sad thing that he felt it the solution but it is what it is. No taking it back and all the rest of us can do is learn from it.
It is my sincere hope that opening my mind to the rest of you will at least get one person with the dismissive mentality that "suicide is the act of cowards" to maybe understand what causes it and not be so quick to use biblical perspective to judge someone who suffered transparently and took their own life.
When you think of it.. He determined his own destiny. He was the master of himself and no one and no physical disease took him from us. He took a bow and exited stage left.
Godspeed Robin Williams... You were Great.
Glad you're doing better these days, but I'm sorry for all of the bad in the past with your family. I know most families harbor such secrets; they usually lend to bigger issues at some point in everyone's lives.
