Single topic debate #12

[Projekt]

Hot topic...
Yes or No?
Right or Wrong?
When your own kids test the limits they need to be dressed down. If talk and counseling doesn't do it after a couple tries, making them understand that they did something wrong and will receive a good smack on the ass should take care of their character flaws.
It is said that good parents don't need to hit their kids but, I disagree because these days more and more children are becoming disrespectful of authority figures that demand respect. Teachers getting assaulted for demanding quiet and order. Cops taking lead because little Timmy's parents did not show him the right way to act.
A good smack on the rear is an investment in your child's future well-being. If that don't do it then you need to step it up a notch. A switch and a bare rear ought to suffice. I'm not talking about beating the small offender senseless and maiming or breaking bones. Discipline is the objective...

 

[chrisjp]

as an athority in raising kids....good lord i got 7....start from day one...discipline is not abuse...abuse is being angry when you discipline and going overboard..and abuse is being too scared of society to function and trying to "rationalize" with a child that had no capacity to..let me give you an example of how bad this "children services" influence can get especialy in a state ooops sorry commonwealth...like pa can get (ps they are being investigated here and more or less shut down for money theft by employees and trial tampering and falseifying claims to remove children and the courts are going case by case to see if situations were justified or fabricated)   wife and i worked 2nd shift 10hrs got home at 2 went to bed at 3 got work up by oldest at 5 due to my son and her daughter woke up climed the cabnets and found matches and were lighting them onto a plastic mattress (son was 5  daughter was 4 and we lived in a mobile home) i explained to him how this could kill him and his family in 7 min or less cracked his butt 3 times with a spatuala and sent him to his room to think about what he did...3 days later while at work a self rightuous 16 year old babysitter raised by the system that spanking was illegal called children services becuase she thought she saw bruises.. children services came in that night while wife and i were at work (only 16 yr old babysiter no adults)...took my 5 year old son to back bedroom of house...stripped him nekked and photographed him all while yelling and swearing at the oldest son g(he was 7) to mind his own phucking buisness.  when we got home at 2 am...we were told by the oldest and we went off (yes lawyer was called)....they had the balls to show up couple days later and were promptly escorted off the property...we were assigned new workers they tried the "society correct form of discipline" and i asked them since they were the "athority" how i should have handled it...they said corner for length of time of thier age (5 and 4 min)...so i asked...what if they do it again and this time they burn themselves or the house and seriously hurt or kill themselves thier siblings or the whole family who would they come or blame then....(me) and if they didnt kill anyone...how would i discipline them then...they said counsleing ect...and so i asked...what if they do it agian....no answer....(ps my kids have never did that again after my discipline)..we explained to them...we would rather leave a bruise than permenante scars or death of themselves or family members because we were too "afraid" to whoop thier ass and straighten things out as god gave us permission to do... case was dropped in week.  my father taught me that if i leave the house hateing my father....then he did his job.  only after a while did i realize that everything he stood for and said no to was not to be mean  or always had to stick his nose in my life but because i didnt know what i was doing and he was right and loved me enough to protect me from myself.. he died in oct ...i miss him ...but i follow his philosophys... my children now range from 16 down to 9....i have not had to spank any of them in years and years...they understand what daddy says daddy means...they can be rationalized with now and alternative punishments are used...(grounding...removing of privlidges)  but not one....will ask to go to partys or hang with freinds...and even the 16 yr old boy refuses to have sex becasue he has a future he sees in the military and knows that no matter how much his freinds push...a child will not allow him to do what he wants to do in life. my kids are not perfict..they still have thier days....but at 16 and 15 and 14 they still give hugs and kisses to mother and father in front of thier freinds and if are laughed at  they will look at them and tell them to go away  because at least if something happens they at least got to tell thier parents that they loved them!!!!...all of this is to give you example of how far govement and society have stuck thier noses into our JOBS AS PARENTS to raise the children to repsect society and understand there is serious conciquences for our actions...not just slap on the wrist and spend 5 min in a corner...'YES YOUR HONNOR I STOLE THAT BIKE...CAN I GO TO JAIL NOW FOR 30 MINS"



<!--EDIT|chrisjp
Reason for Edit: None given...|1157103918 -->

 

[Don Hardcastle]

Part of my education is in Psychology and I will offer this up. IMHO spanking your child is not a bad thing, which is part of the reason the good Lord put a butt on them. However, HOW you do it can make all the difference in the world. If your child deserves a spanking, the kid MUST understand that you are not mad at him/her and the spanking is for something that he/she did wrong.

Most animals (humans included) learn by "observational learning". If your child sees that you are angry while spanking him/her, in that child's subconscious, the child is learning that when you are angry you strike someone.

Now you can all that a bunch of bunk if you want, but studies have shown that a high percentage of violent teens had abusive fathers.

Is spanking your child abusive, again in my opinion no, but spanking your child while you are angry IS abusive more emotionally that physically.

In addition, if you take a moment to calm down and think about the situation, a couple of things may happen and at least one thing will happen. You may decide the offense does not warrant one and another form of punishment may be more suitable. You will likely not strike your child as hard because your adrenaline rush as subsided and you are a little calmer.

Just my $.02.

Great topic, btw.

Don

 

[forceofnature]

Did it once and never had to ever again. Sometimes you have to most of the time you don't.

 

[dudewizr]

Spare the rod and spoil the child. I was never happier as an 8 yr old when we moved into a new house with no trees! Mom busted our butts and then dad would come in later and explain the lesson to us.

 

[WWJD]

I'm all for spanking. Chris said it best above: can't "rationalize" with a child that had no capacity to. "Time out" is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of.

 

[BiG-T]

Good topic!!

Spank dat @$$!!

 

[Shibumi]

I think it's instinctive and so is the response. My son first got spanked when he got his first tooth. I was holding him on my shoulder and he latched on to my skin right about the collarbone. Synapses fired, my hand impacted his little butt about two nanoseconds later, he cried and NEVER attempted to do it again. Nature, not nurture!!

 

[VaBusa]

There's a huge difference between hitting your child and spanking your child...

I was spanked as a kid for not behaving...my kids get spankings when enough is enough and that's what makes them understand...I've been around too many parents that not only refuse to spank but also don't like the idea of telling their children "no" and those kids are a nightmare to be around...



<!--EDIT|VaBusa
Reason for Edit: None given...|1157119471 -->

 

[delboy]

As the father of four, now aged 32, 26, 24 and 23 never did it, maybe because my father never hit me. But my wife is handy with the wooden spoon

 

[bigoltool]

I’ve got two kids 3 and 7 years. Oldest one is as mellow as could be. We never spanked her when she was little. Then comes the little sister! Boy howdy, she is the little fire pisser of the two. She gets a swat on the rump about once a week. However I also noticed that they feed off of those they are around. We have two or three neighbor kids that come over regularly. One of them is practically a model child. Very polite, well behaved she’s a year older than most of them and looks after the younger kids. The other two are closer to my kid’s age and are on the opposite end of the spectrum from the first kid. These two mouth-off to everyone, especially their parents, constantly fight with my youngest and are just generally not pleasant kids to be around, though I have a low tolerance for wee folk regardless. When it is just mine together they are great, when the older girl is over also great. But when they spend any time with the other two they turn into little monsters. and seam to remain in that state for hours afterwards. They know that this behavior is completely unacceptable but just a small amount of exposure to this is enough to sway their judgment. It’s a tough deal because I know that they will always be exposed to different personas (positive and negative) going to school and going through life. If I don’t send them a clear concise message about right and wrong now then they will undoubtedly learn it under much harsher conditions later on!

 

[Projekt]

There's a huge difference between hitting your child and spanking your child...

I was spanked as a kid for not behaving...my kids get spankings when enough is enough and that's what makes them understand...I've been around too many parents that not only refuse to spank but also don't like the idea of telling their children "no" and those kids are a nightmare to be around...

I decided to use the word Hitting in order to spark the debate off. You know just to get folks to look. It is a little buzzier than corporal punishment or spanking... And, well, so far so good.

 

[Warputer]

We have 4 children . Ages 11 , 8 , 5 and 3 .....oldest is a girl and the younger 3 are monsters , I mean boys !

The girl has usually been an "Angel" and just needs a little verbal encouragement from time to time . The boys ......well they're gonna take after their daddy . Hard headed and a tuff azz !

 

[vincent]

Have 3 kids. 6,4,&2.
Spanking has its place but should not be used as the normal form of punishment.
You can tell a 2 year old all day long that fire is hot but they still have to learn that simple fact for themselves. Same basic theory. I tried to not spank my children because I was spanked a couple times a day as a kid, but I quickly learned that there are times where it is the most effective form of discipline. Not punishment.

 

[Wag]

I don't have kids, but I wuz one for many years.

I think spanking is appropriate in some situations but it CAN and often IS, overused as punishment. Kudos to those who advocate making it clear that the spanking is a punishment for a specific act. However, if the only punishment you ever use is spanking, then a kid never gets a clear idea of what the consequences of their actions may be.

In other words, punishments have to fit the crimes. Taking away privileges is probably the most effective form of punishment, including grouding or sticking their nose in a corner for a while.

In another tangential vein, however, it seems to me that if you only punish bad behavior, kids become fearful of ever attempting anything and they become furtive and shy about what they do. Rather, parents would likely do well to attempt to reward any good behavior and downplay bad behavior as much as possibly while still teaching lessons. That way, kids learn the value of doing good things. Focus then turns to the positive as opposed to the negative.

I'm of the opinion that non-corporal punishment is the best first approach to discipline but there are times when nothing is as effective as a good whuppin'.

My old man and my mother used to whip up on us at the slightest provocation. That's just abuse, plain and simple. Fact is, in my opinion, they were uneducated rednecks who didn't know better. They didn't realize that it's not cool to just spank and spank and spank. We got belts, hands, bare-a$$ whippings with belts or tree switches and on one unforgettably tragic occasion, we were all beaten with a hoe handle. That kind of overdoing it just instills resentment in the child if not downright hatred. Respect is then lost.

--Wag--

 

[SAMBUSA]

Beat em till they bleed and then beat em for bleedin.








Just kidding. I have never had to do more than a stern voice with my daughter along with a pat on the butt. She gets devastated when Daddy is upset with her. Then again she is only 4. I get rougher with her when we are playing than I do when she gets it on the butt. Hopefully that never changes

 

[nitrousjunkie]

Beat em till they bleed and then beat em for bleedin.

 

[slpstream]

I've got a 9 yr old boy, generally a model citizen but he has days when he forgets his position,but a loud voice and hes cool, but I also have twin 6 yo daughters and need to threaten them daily, I use the I'M GONNA GET THE BELT VOICE usually that works but sometimes I have to go get it , all thery need to do is see it and then they cool out.... I've never whoopped em with it just folded it over and make the smacking noise with it... seems to work for us.

 

[Projekt]

Cool deal,
My point is that it be used when all other educational efforts fail. What Wag described is brutality, no if's, and's, or but's about it.

 

[BigDiesel]

when you're 6feet 7inches away from the ground, all ya gotta do is get'em eye-level with their feet dangling in mid-air....stare'em straight in the eye, and use that "Hand Of G*D" voice-that scares tha S**T outa kids faster than anything else!!!

but if my kids ever did really get outa line, or mouth-off to me (especially in public); I wouldn't hesitate to smack'em upside the head, I dont care WHO's watching. I tolerate Z-E-R-O disobedience.