"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." –Mark Twain
"There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress." –Mark Twain
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." –Mark Twain
"Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." –Mark Twain
"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." –Mark Twain
"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can." –Mark Twain
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography." –Mark Twain
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." –Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain
"An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere." –Mark Twain
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." –Mark Twain
"All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity." –Mark Twain
"Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it." –Mark Twain
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." –Mark Twain
"Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals." –Mark Twain
"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read." –Mark Twain
"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards." –Mark Twain
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?" –Mark Twain
"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also." –Mark Twain
"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable." –Mark Twain
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." –Mark Twain
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
"There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress." –Mark Twain
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." –Mark Twain
"Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." –Mark Twain
"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled." –Mark Twain
"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can." –Mark Twain
"God created war so that Americans would learn geography." –Mark Twain
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." –Mark Twain
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." –Mark Twain
"An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere." –Mark Twain
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." –Mark Twain
"All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity." –Mark Twain
"Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it." –Mark Twain
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain." –Mark Twain
"Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals." –Mark Twain
"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read." –Mark Twain
"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards." –Mark Twain
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?" –Mark Twain
"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also." –Mark Twain
"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable." –Mark Twain
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." –Mark Twain
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
