You might be a Taliban IF:
- Thread starter skydivr
- Start date
coreywiley
Registered
Ok guys SAIID asks kindly....enough...
lease:
Take it from one with a mother born and raised here and a father born and raised in Syria not all are bad...!
There are more Muslims in the world than Christians by far not all are bad...
The folks we hate and make fun of now were our allies 20 plus yrs ago.
I know....been there done that.
Saddam was once our greatest ally in the Mid East cuz we were busy with Iran at the time.
Now hes gone by our choosing..
Todays enemy is tomorrows friend and yesterdays friend is tomorrows enemy so please be careful what you say because we may need them again.
And by 'them' I mean anyone we may be so immature to make fun of...
I dont believe many of you can name a place I have not visited and please dont take this wrong but up until the point when we decided to become interested in everyone elses biz you could go just about anywhere as an American.
There are places 10min from here I would not go to , just like there are places in Iraq and Afg I would not go to but just because one area is bad does not make the whole rotten.
Do you throw an apple away because it has a rotten spot on it or cut out the rotten spot and eat the rest. is the rest not good ?
Well so are the majority of folks out there .
This post is being brought to you by a person born in NC rasied in TN, lived all over the world and seen many things.
I am a Christian by faith and do not support or condone the attacking of any innocents by anyone no matter what side they are on.
I dont support or secretly rejoice when Al Qaeda attacks.
I dont support or agree with things said by OBL but if looked at it as a whole I can understand their hatred.
Again if you intend to beat someone you have to understand them and how they think. No diff than a game of chess.
You have to know and understand your enemy before you can beat him.
As an AMERICAN ARAB, I could care less if the whole Middle East ignites tonight because it will not effect my life in the least, not one bit.
CNN may have you believe it matters but it doesnt.
We get less than 15% of the oil consumed in this country from the Middle East and we could easily do without it and all the probs it has brought upon us.
Time to let rot whatever is gonna rot wherever it is gonna rot and bring our boys home. Days go by and Adam gets lder I can tell you he will not be fighting in a foreign land for some idiots personal gain.
Real need , real threats like WWII he and I will be frontline defending Liberty.
Anyone who still thinks the Gulf War happened because Saddam invaded Kuwait does not know the term 'Petrodollar' or 'PetroEuro' .
Read the transcripts obtained thru FOIA relating to the US Ambassador to Iraq April Gladspie and the soon to be Gulf War.
She was there not 6mos before Saddam invaded Kuwait and listened to all his concerns.
Her words exactly as she was instructed to say were 'The USA will not get involved in any Arab to Arab conflicts' reading between the lines meant leave Israel alone and we dont care.
We clearly baited him in order to gain a solid permanent military presence in that part of the world.
Yes there is a radical and growing influence in the Middle Eastern world but with things like this seen by 'them' it can only fuel the fire..
Just like gun crime. You only see and hear about the one bad guy and not the one million good guys..
Unfortunately we have been in the Middle East so long that it has bred a generation of distrust and an ever growing amount of hate on our part toward those that just 'look bad'.
First it was the Redskins(Native Americans)
Then it was the Blackskins(Africans)
Then it was the Yellow skins(Japanese)
Now it is the Towelheads !
Will there ever be a point in time when we as Americans dont hate anyone ?
Amazing I was in approx 4 countires in the last 90 days and I never heard or saw any sign of anyone making any fun of anyone else while there.
Why do we have to do it here ?
Before you all tell me to go fly a kite allow me to say America is the greatest nation the earth has ever seen. I have served this country in a non-mil fashion for yrs by supplying our guys with the finest things I could find.
We have accomplished in 250yrs what others did not in 5000 , but as such a young nation we need to know there are many ups and downs to come.
I would not leave the USA for anything instead I will stay and fight to change it.
The topic of the thread is funny and I can laugh at it with an open mind.
Arab jokes are some of the funniest out there I agree.
Believe me after 39yrs I have learned to just let it go.
Please dont fall into the new era of racism regarding folks of another color or because of how they look.
Do you want your children to grow up with hatred or love inside them ?
We are all strange to folks who are strangers to us.
Just a public service announcement by someone who cares and has friends in 50 countries from 100s of nationalities.
lease:Take it from one with a mother born and raised here and a father born and raised in Syria not all are bad...!
There are more Muslims in the world than Christians by far not all are bad...
The folks we hate and make fun of now were our allies 20 plus yrs ago.
I know....been there done that.
Saddam was once our greatest ally in the Mid East cuz we were busy with Iran at the time.
Now hes gone by our choosing..
Todays enemy is tomorrows friend and yesterdays friend is tomorrows enemy so please be careful what you say because we may need them again.
And by 'them' I mean anyone we may be so immature to make fun of...
I dont believe many of you can name a place I have not visited and please dont take this wrong but up until the point when we decided to become interested in everyone elses biz you could go just about anywhere as an American.
There are places 10min from here I would not go to , just like there are places in Iraq and Afg I would not go to but just because one area is bad does not make the whole rotten.
Do you throw an apple away because it has a rotten spot on it or cut out the rotten spot and eat the rest. is the rest not good ?
Well so are the majority of folks out there .
This post is being brought to you by a person born in NC rasied in TN, lived all over the world and seen many things.
I am a Christian by faith and do not support or condone the attacking of any innocents by anyone no matter what side they are on.
I dont support or secretly rejoice when Al Qaeda attacks.
I dont support or agree with things said by OBL but if looked at it as a whole I can understand their hatred.
Again if you intend to beat someone you have to understand them and how they think. No diff than a game of chess.
You have to know and understand your enemy before you can beat him.
As an AMERICAN ARAB, I could care less if the whole Middle East ignites tonight because it will not effect my life in the least, not one bit.
CNN may have you believe it matters but it doesnt.
We get less than 15% of the oil consumed in this country from the Middle East and we could easily do without it and all the probs it has brought upon us.
Time to let rot whatever is gonna rot wherever it is gonna rot and bring our boys home. Days go by and Adam gets lder I can tell you he will not be fighting in a foreign land for some idiots personal gain.
Real need , real threats like WWII he and I will be frontline defending Liberty.
Anyone who still thinks the Gulf War happened because Saddam invaded Kuwait does not know the term 'Petrodollar' or 'PetroEuro' .
Read the transcripts obtained thru FOIA relating to the US Ambassador to Iraq April Gladspie and the soon to be Gulf War.
She was there not 6mos before Saddam invaded Kuwait and listened to all his concerns.
Her words exactly as she was instructed to say were 'The USA will not get involved in any Arab to Arab conflicts' reading between the lines meant leave Israel alone and we dont care.
We clearly baited him in order to gain a solid permanent military presence in that part of the world.
Yes there is a radical and growing influence in the Middle Eastern world but with things like this seen by 'them' it can only fuel the fire..
Just like gun crime. You only see and hear about the one bad guy and not the one million good guys..
Unfortunately we have been in the Middle East so long that it has bred a generation of distrust and an ever growing amount of hate on our part toward those that just 'look bad'.
First it was the Redskins(Native Americans)
Then it was the Blackskins(Africans)
Then it was the Yellow skins(Japanese)
Now it is the Towelheads !
Will there ever be a point in time when we as Americans dont hate anyone ?
Amazing I was in approx 4 countires in the last 90 days and I never heard or saw any sign of anyone making any fun of anyone else while there.
Why do we have to do it here ?
Before you all tell me to go fly a kite allow me to say America is the greatest nation the earth has ever seen. I have served this country in a non-mil fashion for yrs by supplying our guys with the finest things I could find.
We have accomplished in 250yrs what others did not in 5000 , but as such a young nation we need to know there are many ups and downs to come.
I would not leave the USA for anything instead I will stay and fight to change it.
The topic of the thread is funny and I can laugh at it with an open mind.
Arab jokes are some of the funniest out there I agree.
Believe me after 39yrs I have learned to just let it go.
Please dont fall into the new era of racism regarding folks of another color or because of how they look.
Do you want your children to grow up with hatred or love inside them ?
We are all strange to folks who are strangers to us.
Just a public service announcement by someone who cares and has friends in 50 countries from 100s of nationalities.
Ok guys SAIID asks kindly....enough...
Take it from one with a mother born and raised here and a father born and raised in Syria not all are bad...!
There are more Muslims in the world than Christians by far not all are bad...
The folks we hate and make fun of now were our allies 20 plus yrs ago.
I know....been there done that.
Saddam was once our greatest ally in the Mid East cuz we were busy with Iran at the time.
Now hes gone by our choosing..
Todays enemy is tomorrows friend and yesterdays friend is tomorrows enemy so please be careful what you say because we may need them again.
And by 'them' I mean anyone we may be so immature to make fun of...
I dont believe many of you can name a place I have not visited and please dont take this wrong but up until the point when we decided to become interested in everyone elses biz you could go just about anywhere as an American.
There are places 10min from here I would not go to , just like there are places in Iraq and Afg I would not go to but just because one area is bad does not make the whole rotten.
Do you throw an apple away because it has a rotten spot on it or cut out the rotten spot and eat the rest. is the rest not good ?
Well so are the majority of folks out there .
This post is being brought to you by a person born in NC rasied in TN, lived all over the world and seen many things.
I am a Christian by faith and do not support or condone the attacking of any innocents by anyone no matter what side they are on.
I dont support or secretly rejoice when Al Qaeda attacks.
I dont support or agree with things said by OBL but if looked at it as a whole I can understand their hatred.
Again if you intend to beat someone you have to understand them and how they think. No diff than a game of chess.
You have to know and understand your enemy before you can beat him.
As an AMERICAN ARAB, I could care less if the whole Middle East ignites tonight because it will not effect my life in the least, not one bit.
CNN may have you believe it matters but it doesnt.
We get less than 15% of the oil consumed in this country from the Middle East and we could easily do without it and all the probs it has brought upon us.
Time to let rot whatever is gonna rot wherever it is gonna rot and bring our boys home. Days go by and Adam gets lder I can tell you he will not be fighting in a foreign land for some idiots personal gain.
Real need , real threats like WWII he and I will be frontline defending Liberty.
Anyone who still thinks the Gulf War happened because Saddam invaded Kuwait does not know the term 'Petrodollar' or 'PetroEuro' .
Read the transcripts obtained thru FOIA relating to the US Ambassador to Iraq April Gladspie and the soon to be Gulf War.
She was there not 6mos before Saddam invaded Kuwait and listened to all his concerns.
Her words exactly as she was instructed to say were 'The USA will not get involved in any Arab to Arab conflicts' reading between the lines meant leave Israel alone and we dont care.
We clearly baited him in order to gain a solid permanent military presence in that part of the world.
Yes there is a radical and growing influence in the Middle Eastern world but with things like this seen by 'them' it can only fuel the fire..
Just like gun crime. You only see and hear about the one bad guy and not the one million good guys..
Unfortunately we have been in the Middle East so long that it has bred a generation of distrust and an ever growing amount of hate on our part toward those that just 'look bad'.
First it was the Redskins(Native Americans)
Then it was the Blackskins(Africans)
Then it was the Yellow skins(Japanese)
Now it is the Towelheads !
Will there ever be a point in time when we as Americans dont hate anyone ?
Amazing I was in approx 4 countires in the last 90 days and I never heard or saw any sign of anyone making any fun of anyone else while there.
Why do we have to do it here ?
Before you all tell me to go fly a kite allow me to say America is the greatest nation the earth has ever seen. I have served this country in a non-mil fashion for yrs by supplying our guys with the finest things I could find.
We have accomplished in 250yrs what others did not in 5000 , but as such a young nation we need to know there are many ups and downs to come.
I would not leave the USA for anything instead I will stay and fight to change it.
The topic of the thread is funny and I can laugh at it with an open mind.
Arab jokes are some of the funniest out there I agree.
Believe me after 39yrs I have learned to just let it go.
Please dont fall into the new era of racism regarding folks of another color or because of how they look.
Do you want your children to grow up with hatred or love inside them ?
We are all strange to folks who are strangers to us.
Just a public service announcement by someone who cares and has friends in 50 countries from 100s of nationalities.
I Respectfully ask you to Please LIGHTEN UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was just a JOKE
Blanca....
This was not a racist post. For the millions of Muslims who live in peace in this world and respect other people's religious view and who don't go JIHAD! I hope they continue to live in peace and I wish them no harm. But I've seen what the Taliban, and those who are perverting their religion do, to 'unbelievers', to women and children, and to the innocent, so I hope we kill every one of them.
This was not a racist post. For the millions of Muslims who live in peace in this world and respect other people's religious view and who don't go JIHAD! I hope they continue to live in peace and I wish them no harm. But I've seen what the Taliban, and those who are perverting their religion do, to 'unbelievers', to women and children, and to the innocent, so I hope we kill every one of them.
I agree all the bad ones need to go.
I know it was just a joke and I find some of them pretty funny.
I take no offense from it.
I am just a fast typer and a quick thinker.
I just know where threads can go and I just wanted to slow it down a bit.
No problem with the joke or the thread itself.
It is just that times like this I like to fall back on my Arab heritage and separate myself so I dont get lumped into the same group of fat dumb Americans that you are like OWENS231 said...
AND JUST TO SHOW YOU I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR PLEASE ENJOY THE BELOW
ILMAO when I read these.....
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Then there was the joke by Senator John McCabe appearing on the Jay Leno Show:
What is osama bin laden going to be for Halloween?
Answer: DEAD.
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Failed Afghan Recruiting Posters:
1. "Be Allah you can be"
2. "Aim Low"
3. "An Army of None"
4. "The Few....................................."
5. "Martyrs have more fun"
6. "Vigins....we got Virgins!!"
7. "Free Camoflage Turbans....sign up today!"
8. "Uncle oSAMa wants you"
************************************************** ******************************************
Some TALIBAN ONE-LINER JOKES for today:
Q:Why does Osama always carry a piece of **** in his pocket?
A: It's his photo ID
Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of ****?
A: the bucket
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat **** sandwiches?
A: they can't stand bread
Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: because the camels can't handle it
************************************************** ******************************************
CNN News Bulletin
At a hastily called press conference this morning, Taliban Minister of Immigration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if any further military action was taken against Afghanistan, Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.
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Solution to the problem:
Killing Osama bin Laden will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will only inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, we should do neither.
Let the Special Forces, Seals, Green Berets, etc., covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation. Then return "her" to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.
************************************************** ******************************************
Newsflash: Dixons (RadioShack) have had to close their stores in Afghanistan because of the telly ban.
************************************************** ******************************************
Newsflash: Dyslexic troops have surrounded John Lewis (Macys).
They'd been tipped off that Bed Linen was on the second floor
************************************************** ******************************************
In an LA Times editorial letter (9/19/2001), Shelley Bookspan wrote:
"Forget threatening to bomb Afghanistan and the Taliban if they fail to turn over Bin Laden to us. Instead, let's threaten to gather up all of their women and send them to college. In fact, why don't we do that anyway?"
************************************************** ******************************************
TOP 11 NAMES FOR U.S. RETALIATION against Osama bin Laden
11. Operation: Yo Mama Bin Laden
10. Operation: Desert Turd
9. Operation: Afghani-Slam Fest 2001
8. Operation: Toli-Bomb
7. Operation: I-C-B-Enema
6. Operation: The Shiite Hits The Fan
5. Operation: Kiss Your Ass-Ghanistan Good Bye
4. Operation: F.U.B.A.R.
3. Operation: ...And The Camel You Rode In On.
2. Operation: Red, White & Ka-blewey!
1. Operation: Osama Bend-Over
0.5 Operation In your pants you'll be pishoddin', bin laden
************************************************** ******************************************
QUOTE FROM THE PRESIDENT: When asked what is taking so long.
"When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a
$10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."
-President of the United States, George W. Bush.
************************************************** ******************************************
Did you hear of the Israeli soldier chasing the Arab soldier across the desert,
yelling "If my husband were only here!"
************************************************** ******************************************
Three guys
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
"Uncle Sam" says, "Fill it with water."
************************************************** ******************************************
Top 17 anagrams for Osama Bin Laden (or as Michelle calls him - uSUCKa bin Laden!)
17. SANE OILMAN BAD (thanks Stuart Guarniere)
16. I BONA LEADSMAN (thanks Stuart)
15. NASAL NOMAD BE I (thanks Stuart)
14. BE A SLAIN NOMAD (thanks Stuart)
13. A bend lama son - (thanks Tristan "the missing" Linck)
12. Food: Bami deo San Lan - (thanks Tristan)
11. Albania's Demon - (thanks Mark)
10. A lesbian nomad
9. Alias "Boned Man"
8. So I anal bad men
7. And I blame a son
6. No Asian bedlam
5. I.D.: Mean Anal S.O.B.
4. I, a sad nobleman
3. A slain abdomen
2. I'm so banal, Edna
1. I model bananas
************************************************** ******************************************
What does ISLAM stand for?
I SCREW LLAMAS AND MULES
************************************************** ******************************************
Alan Meiss' 50 Ways to Annoy Osama bin Laden at a Dinner Party
Alan Meiss' 50 Least-Known Facts About Saddam Hussein
************************************************** ******************************************
Words for Next Year's Dictionary
Af·ghan·i·stan af-GYAN-is-tan noun.
A landlocked country of southwest-central Asia. Since ancient times the region has been crisscrossed by invaders, including Persians, Macedonians, Arabs, Turks, and Mongols. Afghan tribes united in the 18th century under a single leadership, but a fully independent state did not emerge until 1919. Kabul is the capital and the largest city. Population: 0. Major Feature; Only country on Earth, without electricity, whose glow can be seen from the moon. {see; bin laden}
Ar·a·bic A-rah-bic adj.
Of or relating to Arabia, the Arabs, their language, or their culture. n. (Dead Language) A Semitic language consisting of numerous dialects that was the principal language of Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Egypt, and parts of northern Africa. Fell out of usage after September 2001. Being replaced by Hebrew and English. (See bin laden, U.S. Marine Corps, Shiite)
bin' lad·en bin LAW-din A past tense of lade { v. intr.To ladle a liquid. }
Introduced into US Southern slang, as in "bin' fish'in", and "bin' hunt'in"; To squash something so completely that only an oily stain remains.
Usage: "That poor critter sure got bin laden by those trucks as it tried to cross the interstate." Brought into common usage by the returning elements of the US Marine Corps. {see; Shiite, Trident Mark 47 Thermonuclear Warhead, IRATE, AFGHANISTAN)
ji·had also je·had GEE-hawd noun
A Muslim holy war or spiritual struggle against infidels. Origin: Most likely came into language, through repetition of usage, as a corruption of the English slang term
Yea-Ha YEE-ha { yea (y) n. { ha1 also hah (hä) interj.
Used to express surprise, wonder, triumph, puzzlement, or pique.
An affirmative statement or vote} and as overheard used by numerous American Fighter Bomber Pilots and Tank Crews, or as a crossover term when real-life mimics art and the movies, sic. As uttered by Slim Pickens, in the final scenes of Doctor Strangelove.
hi·jab hi-JAB noun.
The headscarf worn by Muslim women, sometimes including a veil that covers the face except for the eyes. Mainly used today to mask the morning of the loss of fathers, brothers, husbands and children, and to hide flash and radiation burns, or to act a a filter for low levels of fallout.
IR·ATE eye-RATE noun.
The new country formed out of 95% of the land mass of Iran and Iraq. The remaining 5% can be found settling as a fine white ash downwind over the Himalayan Mountain Range. (See; U.S. Marine Corps, Trident Mark 47 Thermonuclear Warhead, Shiite, bin laden, Yea-Ha)
Shi·ite also Shi·â€˜ite SHEE-ite noun.
A member of the extinct branch of Islam that regarded Ali and his descendants as the legitimate successors to Mohammed and rejects the first three caliphs.
adj. Associative name; A mispronouncing of a Southern version of an American expletive { **** (****) Vulgar Slang interj. Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure}, often spoken as the last word of members of this extinct sect as they saw the Trident Mark 47 Warhead re-entry contrails overhead. Origin: Lost in the past. {See; bin laden, Yea-Ha}
************************************************** ******************************************
Letter from the citizens of the USA
Dear Osama Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Sadam Hussein, et. al.,
We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing by them for the first time. Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY. While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate.
By the way, we will be playing on your court now.
Batter up.
Sincerely,
The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America
************************************************** ******************************************
First Annual Kabul Air Show Scheduled (AP)
Kabul, Afghanistan 17:52 GMT - Sept. 25, 2001
Citizens of Afghanistan are reportedly looking forward with great anticipation to reports of an international air show to be held in the skies over their nation.
An unnamed official informed us that "Now the rest of the world will look upon our beloved city with great honor just as they do Farnborough, England and Paris, France", referring to the sites of two other famous international air shows.
The exact date and time of the upcoming Kabul International Air Show has not yet been announced. It is believed that event organizers feel that such an announcement would detract from the fun of the celebration by, "spoiling the surprise".
Unlike most air shows the Kabul Air Show will feature almost no static ground displays but will have an unusually high number of aerial demonstrations and fly-bys. "We are most pleased by this feature of our air show. Instead of a lot of different kinds of airplanes just sitting around on the tarmac, the aircraft attending our show will actually be up in the air demonstrating what they do best!" we were told.
Participation will probably be heaviest by aircraft of the United States Air Force and Marine Corps. Including appearances by F-15's, F-16's, A-10's, B-52's and Apache helicopters. It is rumored that opening ceremonies will feature a tomahawk-cruise fireworks display. A few B-2's, and F-117A's may also help out in some unseen capacity.
Several other counties have expressed an interest in sending representatives. These include all nineteen nations in the NATO alliance as well as Australia. The excitement generated for this gala event has even prompted the Israeli Air Force to apply for participation.
Of course, no one is more excited than the Afghan people themselves. Great numbers of them are in the streets of Kabul looking constantly heavenward in gratitude for the historic event, which will soon take place in their skies. It has been observed that some are so concerned about missing the show that even as they bow to the East they keep snatching worried glances towards the West. Thousands, in fact, have been seen leaving the city and fleeing to the mountains carrying food and blankets - obviously anxious to get a good vantage point for the air show, and to make a picnic of it.
************************************************** ******************************************
American Women...Do Your Part To Help! Stand Up, Be Seen!
We need to get this message out. Please forward, America needs your help!
The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard line Islamic people cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, tonight at 7:00 pm, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists.
The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you.
God bless America.
Signed,
William Jefferson Clinton
************************************************** ******************************************
An Open Letter to Terrorists:
Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America.
You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America.
You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies, but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America.
Why?
Because of something you guys will never understand.
America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies.
America is about an IDEA.
An idea, that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue Happiness. (No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!).
Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany:
"If you can not see my point, then feel my pain."
This concept is alien to Americans.
We live in a country where we don't have to see your point.
But you're free to have one.
We don't have to listen to your speech.
But you're free to SAY one.
Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you.
We don't agree with each other in this country, almost as a matter of pride.
We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States.
We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world.
Another idea, we made up on the spot.
You CAN make it up as you go, when it's your country.
You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America, America lives in US!
American spirit is what it's called.
And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it.
Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit.
Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.
Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit, this time.
Sleep tight, if you can.
We're coming.....
************************************************** ******************************************
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below:
|
|
| (arrow down)
|
|
|
|
|
V
Which lens would you use?
************************************************** ******************************************
Oink if you like foreign policy!
An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if ones' body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking.
If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell.
Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very site of pigs A LOT!
They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousand gallons of moonshine, get them **** faced and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend.
Just a thought.
************************************************** ******************************************
A father is walking with his son around the year 2032 in lower Manhattan. As they explore the area the father explains to his son about the grandeur of the buildings and take on the sites. Suddenly they come to a beautiful park and plaza.
The son is so excited at the beautiful park and monuments and asks his Dad: "What are these monuments for?"
The father replies: "This park is dedicated to honour the Twin Towers and the memory of the people of New York."
"What are the Twin Towers?" asks the son.
Dad replies: "They were two very large 110 story buildings which stood here nearly 30 years until Arab Terrorists destroyed them."
"Dad, what is an arab?"
************************************************** ******************************************
Q: How do you break up an Afghani Bingo?
A: B52
************************************************** ******************************************
What do you call a Taliban that has both a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
************************************************** ******************************************
Why do we say of something we don't believe, "tell it to the Marines?" (answer below) - (not a joke)
A tough leatherneck librarian smiles sweetly while cataloging a new **** and bull story before adding it to the archives. "Gosh darn it," the Marine swears, dropping his pencil. Taken literally, this expression makes the Marines a tall- tale repository. I don't think so. An often-cited origin has the original phrase as "tell it to the horse marines." Since marines are usually soldiers that embark from a ship, they're not likely to be "horse" marines and by extension, the story that should be told to them also does not jibe with the facts. It's also thought that marines, who used ships but only to get to where they were going, were held in contempt by sailors, who lived on the vessels fulltime. They considered marines to be green and gullible, ready to believe any fanciful story. To have some fun, they would tell one to the marines.
Source: BREWER'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE edited by Ivor H. Evans
************************************************** ******************************************
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!!
**I was listening to the radio the other day, and I heard one of the all-time best comeback lines in my life. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? "
The radio went silent and the interview ended. And all I could think was, "Go Army!"
************************************************** ******************************************
OSAMA BIN LADEN
YOU SON OF A *****
MAY YOUR BALLS DEVELOP
A SEVEN YEAR ITCH.
MAY YOUR PECKER BE TWISTED
IN SUCH A MANNER
THAT YOUR ******* WHISTLES
THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER!!!!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!
Thanks, Lisa Rock Hill, SC
(Lisa, you go girl! - webmaster)
************************************************** ******************************************
One of my favorites to add to your site.
Dan Sameit
A POEM FOR BIN LADEN
Osama Bin Laden, your time is short;
We'd rather you die, than come to court.
Why are you hiding if it was in God's name?
You're just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.
I have a question, about your theory and laws;
"How come you never die for the cause?"
Is it because you're a coward who counts on others?
Well, here in America, we stand by our brothers.
As is usual, you failed in your mission;
If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin'
Americans are now focused and stronger than ever;
Your death has become our next endeavor.
What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls;
It's not in buildings or shopping malls.
If all of our structures came crashing down;
It would still be there, safe and sound.
Because pride and courage can't be destroyed;
Even if the towers leave a deep void.
We'll band together and fill the holes
We'll bury our dead and bless their souls.
But then our energy will focus on you;
And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue.
So slither and hide like a snake in the grass;
Because America's coming to kick your ass!!!
************************************************** ******************************************
I know it was just a joke and I find some of them pretty funny.
I take no offense from it.
I am just a fast typer and a quick thinker.
I just know where threads can go and I just wanted to slow it down a bit.
No problem with the joke or the thread itself.
It is just that times like this I like to fall back on my Arab heritage and separate myself so I dont get lumped into the same group of fat dumb Americans that you are like OWENS231 said...
AND JUST TO SHOW YOU I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR PLEASE ENJOY THE BELOW
ILMAO when I read these.....
************************************************** ******************************************
Then there was the joke by Senator John McCabe appearing on the Jay Leno Show:
What is osama bin laden going to be for Halloween?
Answer: DEAD.
************************************************** ******************************************
Failed Afghan Recruiting Posters:
1. "Be Allah you can be"
2. "Aim Low"
3. "An Army of None"
4. "The Few....................................."
5. "Martyrs have more fun"
6. "Vigins....we got Virgins!!"
7. "Free Camoflage Turbans....sign up today!"
8. "Uncle oSAMa wants you"
************************************************** ******************************************
Some TALIBAN ONE-LINER JOKES for today:
Q:Why does Osama always carry a piece of **** in his pocket?
A: It's his photo ID
Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.
Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck
Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of ****?
A: the bucket
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why don't bin laden's people eat **** sandwiches?
A: they can't stand bread
Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: because the camels can't handle it
************************************************** ******************************************
CNN News Bulletin
At a hastily called press conference this morning, Taliban Minister of Immigration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if any further military action was taken against Afghanistan, Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.
************************************************** ******************************************
Solution to the problem:
Killing Osama bin Laden will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will only inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, we should do neither.
Let the Special Forces, Seals, Green Berets, etc., covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation. Then return "her" to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.
************************************************** ******************************************
Newsflash: Dixons (RadioShack) have had to close their stores in Afghanistan because of the telly ban.
************************************************** ******************************************
Newsflash: Dyslexic troops have surrounded John Lewis (Macys).
They'd been tipped off that Bed Linen was on the second floor
************************************************** ******************************************
In an LA Times editorial letter (9/19/2001), Shelley Bookspan wrote:
"Forget threatening to bomb Afghanistan and the Taliban if they fail to turn over Bin Laden to us. Instead, let's threaten to gather up all of their women and send them to college. In fact, why don't we do that anyway?"
************************************************** ******************************************
TOP 11 NAMES FOR U.S. RETALIATION against Osama bin Laden
11. Operation: Yo Mama Bin Laden
10. Operation: Desert Turd
9. Operation: Afghani-Slam Fest 2001
8. Operation: Toli-Bomb
7. Operation: I-C-B-Enema
6. Operation: The Shiite Hits The Fan
5. Operation: Kiss Your Ass-Ghanistan Good Bye
4. Operation: F.U.B.A.R.
3. Operation: ...And The Camel You Rode In On.
2. Operation: Red, White & Ka-blewey!
1. Operation: Osama Bend-Over
0.5 Operation In your pants you'll be pishoddin', bin laden
************************************************** ******************************************
QUOTE FROM THE PRESIDENT: When asked what is taking so long.
"When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a
$10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."
-President of the United States, George W. Bush.
************************************************** ******************************************
Did you hear of the Israeli soldier chasing the Arab soldier across the desert,
yelling "If my husband were only here!"
************************************************** ******************************************
Three guys
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
"Uncle Sam" says, "Fill it with water."
************************************************** ******************************************
Top 17 anagrams for Osama Bin Laden (or as Michelle calls him - uSUCKa bin Laden!)
17. SANE OILMAN BAD (thanks Stuart Guarniere)
16. I BONA LEADSMAN (thanks Stuart)
15. NASAL NOMAD BE I (thanks Stuart)
14. BE A SLAIN NOMAD (thanks Stuart)
13. A bend lama son - (thanks Tristan "the missing" Linck)
12. Food: Bami deo San Lan - (thanks Tristan)
11. Albania's Demon - (thanks Mark)
10. A lesbian nomad
9. Alias "Boned Man"
8. So I anal bad men
7. And I blame a son
6. No Asian bedlam
5. I.D.: Mean Anal S.O.B.
4. I, a sad nobleman
3. A slain abdomen
2. I'm so banal, Edna
1. I model bananas
************************************************** ******************************************
What does ISLAM stand for?
I SCREW LLAMAS AND MULES
************************************************** ******************************************
Alan Meiss' 50 Ways to Annoy Osama bin Laden at a Dinner Party
Alan Meiss' 50 Least-Known Facts About Saddam Hussein
************************************************** ******************************************
Words for Next Year's Dictionary
Af·ghan·i·stan af-GYAN-is-tan noun.
A landlocked country of southwest-central Asia. Since ancient times the region has been crisscrossed by invaders, including Persians, Macedonians, Arabs, Turks, and Mongols. Afghan tribes united in the 18th century under a single leadership, but a fully independent state did not emerge until 1919. Kabul is the capital and the largest city. Population: 0. Major Feature; Only country on Earth, without electricity, whose glow can be seen from the moon. {see; bin laden}
Ar·a·bic A-rah-bic adj.
Of or relating to Arabia, the Arabs, their language, or their culture. n. (Dead Language) A Semitic language consisting of numerous dialects that was the principal language of Arabia, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Lebanon, Egypt, and parts of northern Africa. Fell out of usage after September 2001. Being replaced by Hebrew and English. (See bin laden, U.S. Marine Corps, Shiite)
bin' lad·en bin LAW-din A past tense of lade { v. intr.To ladle a liquid. }
Introduced into US Southern slang, as in "bin' fish'in", and "bin' hunt'in"; To squash something so completely that only an oily stain remains.
Usage: "That poor critter sure got bin laden by those trucks as it tried to cross the interstate." Brought into common usage by the returning elements of the US Marine Corps. {see; Shiite, Trident Mark 47 Thermonuclear Warhead, IRATE, AFGHANISTAN)
ji·had also je·had GEE-hawd noun
A Muslim holy war or spiritual struggle against infidels. Origin: Most likely came into language, through repetition of usage, as a corruption of the English slang term
Yea-Ha YEE-ha { yea (y) n. { ha1 also hah (hä) interj.
Used to express surprise, wonder, triumph, puzzlement, or pique.
An affirmative statement or vote} and as overheard used by numerous American Fighter Bomber Pilots and Tank Crews, or as a crossover term when real-life mimics art and the movies, sic. As uttered by Slim Pickens, in the final scenes of Doctor Strangelove.
hi·jab hi-JAB noun.
The headscarf worn by Muslim women, sometimes including a veil that covers the face except for the eyes. Mainly used today to mask the morning of the loss of fathers, brothers, husbands and children, and to hide flash and radiation burns, or to act a a filter for low levels of fallout.
IR·ATE eye-RATE noun.
The new country formed out of 95% of the land mass of Iran and Iraq. The remaining 5% can be found settling as a fine white ash downwind over the Himalayan Mountain Range. (See; U.S. Marine Corps, Trident Mark 47 Thermonuclear Warhead, Shiite, bin laden, Yea-Ha)
Shi·ite also Shi·â€˜ite SHEE-ite noun.
A member of the extinct branch of Islam that regarded Ali and his descendants as the legitimate successors to Mohammed and rejects the first three caliphs.
adj. Associative name; A mispronouncing of a Southern version of an American expletive { **** (****) Vulgar Slang interj. Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure}, often spoken as the last word of members of this extinct sect as they saw the Trident Mark 47 Warhead re-entry contrails overhead. Origin: Lost in the past. {See; bin laden, Yea-Ha}
************************************************** ******************************************
Letter from the citizens of the USA
Dear Osama Bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Sadam Hussein, et. al.,
We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing by them for the first time. Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY. While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate.
By the way, we will be playing on your court now.
Batter up.
Sincerely,
The 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America
************************************************** ******************************************
First Annual Kabul Air Show Scheduled (AP)
Kabul, Afghanistan 17:52 GMT - Sept. 25, 2001
Citizens of Afghanistan are reportedly looking forward with great anticipation to reports of an international air show to be held in the skies over their nation.
An unnamed official informed us that "Now the rest of the world will look upon our beloved city with great honor just as they do Farnborough, England and Paris, France", referring to the sites of two other famous international air shows.
The exact date and time of the upcoming Kabul International Air Show has not yet been announced. It is believed that event organizers feel that such an announcement would detract from the fun of the celebration by, "spoiling the surprise".
Unlike most air shows the Kabul Air Show will feature almost no static ground displays but will have an unusually high number of aerial demonstrations and fly-bys. "We are most pleased by this feature of our air show. Instead of a lot of different kinds of airplanes just sitting around on the tarmac, the aircraft attending our show will actually be up in the air demonstrating what they do best!" we were told.
Participation will probably be heaviest by aircraft of the United States Air Force and Marine Corps. Including appearances by F-15's, F-16's, A-10's, B-52's and Apache helicopters. It is rumored that opening ceremonies will feature a tomahawk-cruise fireworks display. A few B-2's, and F-117A's may also help out in some unseen capacity.
Several other counties have expressed an interest in sending representatives. These include all nineteen nations in the NATO alliance as well as Australia. The excitement generated for this gala event has even prompted the Israeli Air Force to apply for participation.
Of course, no one is more excited than the Afghan people themselves. Great numbers of them are in the streets of Kabul looking constantly heavenward in gratitude for the historic event, which will soon take place in their skies. It has been observed that some are so concerned about missing the show that even as they bow to the East they keep snatching worried glances towards the West. Thousands, in fact, have been seen leaving the city and fleeing to the mountains carrying food and blankets - obviously anxious to get a good vantage point for the air show, and to make a picnic of it.
************************************************** ******************************************
American Women...Do Your Part To Help! Stand Up, Be Seen!
We need to get this message out. Please forward, America needs your help!
The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard line Islamic people cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, tonight at 7:00 pm, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out the terrorists.
The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you.
God bless America.
Signed,
William Jefferson Clinton
************************************************** ******************************************
An Open Letter to Terrorists:
Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America.
You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America.
You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies, but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America.
Why?
Because of something you guys will never understand.
America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies.
America is about an IDEA.
An idea, that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue Happiness. (No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!).
Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany:
"If you can not see my point, then feel my pain."
This concept is alien to Americans.
We live in a country where we don't have to see your point.
But you're free to have one.
We don't have to listen to your speech.
But you're free to SAY one.
Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you.
We don't agree with each other in this country, almost as a matter of pride.
We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States.
We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world.
Another idea, we made up on the spot.
You CAN make it up as you go, when it's your country.
You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America, America lives in US!
American spirit is what it's called.
And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it.
Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit.
Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.
Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit, this time.
Sleep tight, if you can.
We're coming.....
************************************************** ******************************************
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below:
|
|
| (arrow down)
|
|
|
|
|
V
Which lens would you use?
************************************************** ******************************************
Oink if you like foreign policy!
An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if ones' body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking.
If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell.
Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very site of pigs A LOT!
They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousand gallons of moonshine, get them **** faced and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend.
Just a thought.
************************************************** ******************************************
A father is walking with his son around the year 2032 in lower Manhattan. As they explore the area the father explains to his son about the grandeur of the buildings and take on the sites. Suddenly they come to a beautiful park and plaza.
The son is so excited at the beautiful park and monuments and asks his Dad: "What are these monuments for?"
The father replies: "This park is dedicated to honour the Twin Towers and the memory of the people of New York."
"What are the Twin Towers?" asks the son.
Dad replies: "They were two very large 110 story buildings which stood here nearly 30 years until Arab Terrorists destroyed them."
"Dad, what is an arab?"
************************************************** ******************************************
Q: How do you break up an Afghani Bingo?
A: B52
************************************************** ******************************************
What do you call a Taliban that has both a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
************************************************** ******************************************
Why do we say of something we don't believe, "tell it to the Marines?" (answer below) - (not a joke)
A tough leatherneck librarian smiles sweetly while cataloging a new **** and bull story before adding it to the archives. "Gosh darn it," the Marine swears, dropping his pencil. Taken literally, this expression makes the Marines a tall- tale repository. I don't think so. An often-cited origin has the original phrase as "tell it to the horse marines." Since marines are usually soldiers that embark from a ship, they're not likely to be "horse" marines and by extension, the story that should be told to them also does not jibe with the facts. It's also thought that marines, who used ships but only to get to where they were going, were held in contempt by sailors, who lived on the vessels fulltime. They considered marines to be green and gullible, ready to believe any fanciful story. To have some fun, they would tell one to the marines.
Source: BREWER'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASE AND FABLE edited by Ivor H. Evans
************************************************** ******************************************
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!!
**I was listening to the radio the other day, and I heard one of the all-time best comeback lines in my life. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? "
The radio went silent and the interview ended. And all I could think was, "Go Army!"
************************************************** ******************************************
OSAMA BIN LADEN
YOU SON OF A *****
MAY YOUR BALLS DEVELOP
A SEVEN YEAR ITCH.
MAY YOUR PECKER BE TWISTED
IN SUCH A MANNER
THAT YOUR ******* WHISTLES
THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER!!!!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!
Thanks, Lisa Rock Hill, SC
(Lisa, you go girl! - webmaster)
************************************************** ******************************************
One of my favorites to add to your site.
Dan Sameit
A POEM FOR BIN LADEN
Osama Bin Laden, your time is short;
We'd rather you die, than come to court.
Why are you hiding if it was in God's name?
You're just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.
I have a question, about your theory and laws;
"How come you never die for the cause?"
Is it because you're a coward who counts on others?
Well, here in America, we stand by our brothers.
As is usual, you failed in your mission;
If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishin'
Americans are now focused and stronger than ever;
Your death has become our next endeavor.
What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls;
It's not in buildings or shopping malls.
If all of our structures came crashing down;
It would still be there, safe and sound.
Because pride and courage can't be destroyed;
Even if the towers leave a deep void.
We'll band together and fill the holes
We'll bury our dead and bless their souls.
But then our energy will focus on you;
And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue.
So slither and hide like a snake in the grass;
Because America's coming to kick your ass!!!
************************************************** ******************************************
That was too funny.
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