You might be a cop if...

They also missed..."If you don't be good I'm gonna tell the officer to get you..."I really hate that one...
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I've crawled a LOT of arses for that one. Yeah, go ahead and make your little kid scared of the popo. That way when he gets lost, he will RUN and HIDE from us instead of coming to us. Geesh!

My favorite comeback to that is... "No, I don't lock kids up. I help kids. I lock up grown ups for making kids scared of the police..." with a nice
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look toward the parents as I tell the kiddies that.
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Those were pretty good, BT! To how many of them can you relate?
Almost all... There are a few that I haven't experienced, but VERY few. These were obviously written by a cop, or a compilation of input from several cops. They ring too true to have been made up by someone who's never been "on the job".
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my favorite is suicide getting it right
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Hell if u should keep tryin if you dont get it right cause when you think about it no one wants to be an underachiever
Heh... yeah, that's a good one. Back in my early days in LE I had this guy who ALWAYS stopped EVERY time he saw me stopped anywhere and had to tell me about his crappy life. He always wanted my advice. I played it cool and went along with him for as long as I could (probably several months) but it got to the point that I got the impression that most, if not all of what he was telling me probably wasn't even true so I decided to mess with his head.

I'm standing in a convenience store getting a drink when he sees me and pulls in. He comes in and starts spilling his guts. He said his wife had left him for a mexican. He asked, "What do you think I should do?" My reply? Hehehe... "Have you considered suicide?"
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His jaw hit the floor and his eyes got as big as saucers. The store clerk had the same reaction.
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He left and never approached me again. He didn't take my advice because I still saw him around town, but he never bothered me again. The clerk knew me so she understood, and laughed her butt off once I explained how I'd listened to him for months about that crap and it was the same every night I worked. She said it floored her at first because she didn't know I'd ever seen the guy before. She thought this was probably my first time ever meeting the guy and thought my advice was insane!
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my favorite is suicide getting it right
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Hell if u should keep tryin if you dont get it right cause when you think about it no one wants to be an underachiever
Heh... yeah, that's a good one. Back in my early days in LE I had this guy who ALWAYS stopped EVERY time he saw me stopped anywhere and had to tell me about his crappy life. He always wanted my advice. I played it cool and went along with him for as long as I could (probably several months) but it got to the point that I got the impression that most, if not all of what he was telling me probably wasn't even true so I decided to mess with his head.

I'm standing in a convenience store getting a drink when he sees me and pulls in. He comes in and starts spilling his guts. He said his wife had left him for a mexican. He asked, "What do you think I should do?" My reply? Hehehe... "Have you considered suicide?"
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His jaw hit the floor and his eyes got as big as saucers. The store clerk had the same reaction.
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He left and never approached me again. He didn't take my advice because I still saw him around town, but he never bothered me again. The clerk knew me so she understood, and laughed her butt off once I explained how I'd listened to him for months about that crap and it was the same every night I worked. She said it floored her at first because she didn't know I'd ever seen the guy before. She thought this was probably my first time ever meeting the guy and thought my advice was insane!
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I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces when you said that!
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my favorite is suicide getting it right
laugh.gif

Hell if u should keep tryin if you dont get it right cause when you think about it no one wants to be an underachiever
Heh... yeah, that's a good one. Back in my early days in LE I had this guy who ALWAYS stopped EVERY time he saw me stopped anywhere and had to tell me about his crappy life. He always wanted my advice. I played it cool and went along with him for as long as I could (probably several months) but it got to the point that I got the impression that most, if not all of what he was telling me probably wasn't even true so I decided to mess with his head.

I'm standing in a convenience store getting a drink when he sees me and pulls in. He comes in and starts spilling his guts. He said his wife had left him for a mexican. He asked, "What do you think I should do?" My reply? Hehehe... "Have you considered suicide?"
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jump9.gif


His jaw hit the floor and his eyes got as big as saucers. The store clerk had the same reaction.
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He left and never approached me again. He didn't take my advice because I still saw him around town, but he never bothered me again. The clerk knew me so she understood, and laughed her butt off once I explained how I'd listened to him for months about that crap and it was the same every night I worked. She said it floored her at first because she didn't know I'd ever seen the guy before. She thought this was probably my first time ever meeting the guy and thought my advice was insane!
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I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces when you said that!
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Almost used that line again last night.
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Got cornered up by a loon as I came out of Subway where I was grabbing a sammich on the way home. How do these people find me?
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Granted, there are some people who ask a legitimate question and I don't mind at all helping them out. It's the ones with the blank look in their eyes and the drool drippin' off their chin that I hate to see comin'. The ones that ask me if they can ask me a question and when I say sure, they tell me a bunch of stuff and never ask a question.

Such was the dude last night. He said, "Can I ask you something?" I said, "Yeah, sure...". He spills his guts about his recent break-up with some girl and how she is threatening to take out a protective order against him... blah blah blah.... and never asked me anything. When he finally stopped and took a breath I said... "So, what's your question?"
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His reply? "Huh?"
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I'm thinkin' Earth to moron, come in moron...
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Anyway, he finally asked me what he should do... Man, I can't tell you how hard it was not to give him the "Have you considered suicide?" line. I said something like, "Leave her alone. Have someone around you as much as possible so you have a witness if she falsely accuses you of anything you didn't do, and talk to an attorney as soon as possible to discuss your legal options... Now, I've got to go. Have a nice night." He then got into his vehicle... the one with the Domino's pizza delivery sign on top... and left. And I made a mental note NOT to order Domino's delivery.
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The good ol ... Why aren't you out catching the real criminals in stead of messing with me!
Or the ... It must be great to just ride around in a car all day!
 
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