Thank God ya'll haven't seen me on the news yet..

[Rocketman]

Hi Bill - We all hope and pray for you and your family. This was a major experience and I'm glad you took the time to share it with us. I have 4 boys and this is a lesson I will share with them.

I am sorry you had to go through this. Hang in there. There are better days ahead. Daddy-ship isn't easy as most of here know. It's testing what you're made of. Personally - I think you did a bang up job handling this ... stick to your guns and keep being a concerned parent. You and your family are worth it. God bless each of you.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

Wouldn't it be nice if kids came with an owners manual. But they don't so we do the best we can with what we got!
My best advise to you is to love her the best you can right now. Its ok to be mad, hurt, disappointed and all those feelings you are having.
I would suggest counseling. There are some good one's out there who really care. And since she wants to act like an adult she needs to go through the humiliation of her first Doctors exam if she hasn't already! Also, you might want to have her tested for STD's.
Hope I'm not over stepping my bounds here with the advise but that's what I would do if I were in your shoes.
Your a good guy and you will do what is best for your family. Sorry this happened to ya. Just remember..... there is light at the end of this tunnel. I wish you the best my friend.

Dawn

 

[paineless4u]

I too have a duaghter and I would have an extremely hard time dealing with this but if faced with this situation I would let her know you love her too much for her to ruin her life at 15.
I would show her statistics on being a mom before graduating high school, her future income, daycare costs, statistics on the fatality rate of gang members, all the perils of having sex so early. Let her know the average cost of living for being "grown up" and then let her see how people live in the projects and single mothers in the shelters. Life on the streets with a child. I would show her all this and sit her down and tell her you love her too much for you to sit back and watch this happen to her.

 

[JINKSTER]

UPDATE:

1. The police arrested this 18+ year old afro-american who had on-going sexual relations with my 15 year old daughter this past monday evening charging him with "Lewd & Lucivious Battery Of A Person Under 16 Years Of Age" and as far as i'm aware?..he's still in custody on $15,000 Bail..incidently?...he was just bailed out two weeks ago on an unrelated charge of Assault & Battery on a minor...fighting at school...he's almost 19 years old and still in the 11th grade.

2. We the parents were never notified that he was placed under arrest late monday evening..therefore?...Candice went to school as per usual on tuesday morning..and when she got there?...she was harassed and threatened all day by his fellow "Bloods" gang member wannabee's and harlets.

3. On her way home from the bus-stop tuesday afternoon Candice was chased down by a minivan and a afro-american woman jumped out..ran her down and began beating the shid out of her...it was his sister...his 18+ year old "TWIN" sister..and tuesday evening per Candices "Victim Advocate" and S.R.O. (school resource officer) a police report was filed regarding Candices assault and battery by the mans sister tuesday afternoon.

4. I've been immersing myself in work to try an keep my mind off the shid and keeping my cell phone and glock close by at all times....i fear the retribution factor is going to grow as while i suspect he may only get 6 months- 1 year?...the state attourneys office is doing a great job of case building and as i understand he could recieve sentencing of up to 10 years.

L8R, Bill.

 

[GIXERHP]

Bill im sorry that your going through this, i had a problem almost the same a couple of years ago. You just need to keep a clear head now. Things will work out!

 

[Don Hardcastle]

Bill,
I don't have any words of parental advice, we have a 12 year old son. My education is in Psychology so I can tell you this. You may not want to hear it but it is the truth. Until you forgive Candice and she honestly knows and believes that you have forgiven her, there will be a chasm between you. There are so many things worse she could have been doing. I am not condoning, excusing or diminishing what has happened but it could have been a lot worse. No matter what she has done, she is still your daughter and you are still her father. That will never change. We all make mistakes as we grow and learn.

Don

 

[skid vicious]

19 yrs old and still in 11th grade?

?? and a gang member? sounds like a winner. wouldn't even meet with you. some tough guy.

makes you wonder what some girls see in these guys. the worst thing you can do is try and rack your brain figuring out if somehow this was partly your fault. you can only guide so much. you can try and instill your moral values and levels of aceptable behavior, but in the end, each and every one of us is a unique being capable of making our own decisions whether good or bad.
has your daughter realized the error of her ways yet???
just make sure that you prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.

 

[VaBusa]

(JINKSTER @ Jan. 31 2007,20:43) UPDATE:

1. The police arrested this 18+ year old afro-american who had on-going sexual relations with my 15 year old daughter this past monday evening charging him with "Lewd & Lucivious Battery Of A Person Under 16 Years Of Age" and as far as i'm aware?..he's still in custody on $15,000 Bail..incidently?...he was just bailed out two weeks ago on an unrelated charge of Assault & Battery on a minor...fighting at school...he's almost 19 years old and still in the 11th grade.

2. We the parents were never notified that he was placed under arrest late monday evening..therefore?...Candice went to school as per usual on tuesday morning..and when she got there?...she was harassed and threatened all day by his fellow "Bloods" gang member wannabee's and harlets.

3. On her way home from the bus-stop tuesday afternoon Candice was chased down by a minivan and a afro-american woman jumped out..ran her down and began beating the shid out of her...it was his sister...his 18+ year old "TWIN" sister..and tuesday evening per Candices "Victim Advocate" and S.R.O.  (school resource officer) a police report was filed regarding Candices assault and battery by the mans sister tuesday afternoon.

4. I've been immersing myself in work to try an keep my mind off the shid and keeping my cell phone and glock close by at all times....i fear the retribution factor is going to grow as while i suspect he may only get 6 months- 1 year?...the state attourneys office is doing a great job of case building and as i understand he could recieve sentencing of up to 10 years.

L8R, Bill.

Man

Keep us posted and this just sounds like it could get real bad before it all goes away...

Your family is in my thoughts...

 

[Big Bo]

Oh damn Bill. You have my sincerest concern. I hope all works out for you, and the family.

I have a 17 year old daughter, and I wonder if we keep the leash too tight on her.

I am sorry man.

Oh Bill, send that asswipe to the hole. He deserves it.

 

[JINKSTER]

Update/Update:

1. This dilweeds mother musta took out a loan and put up the $1,500 (10% of the $15,000 Bond) and got her son released this past wednesday night...so now he's out on bond while being "out on bond".

2. Again?...we were never notified of his release just like we were never notified of his arrest and it was the SRO (school resource officer)...who is also just as pissed as us because he was never notified (both times) contacted my wife (at work) to give her a heads up that this azzhole made bail the night before...then wifey calls me at work....so now here's both of us working and my daughter getting dropped off at her bus-stop mid-afternoon and no coverage with gangsta wannabee on the prowl....so i called my parents and my 70 year old father and mother stoked up their .357, grabbed their antiquated cell phone and mace to go pick my daughter up from a town away.

3. Today?...Friday?...capt. gangsta's schoo, suspension was over and the school couldn't refuse his return to campus...so Candice wound up attending school with this buttwipe & crew haunting her all day.

4. It's the weekend and this winner just made bail...i figure he'll be out partying with his gangsta buds tonight and tomorrow night...i'll be sleeping light...and well armed.

L8R, Bill.

 

[runeight]

 

[rockadaous]

man I hope it just drops. Even for gangsta's women aren't worth the trouble. that way your family can finally rest.

 

[georgiabusa_05]

Hang in there Bill, We here at the org are keeping you and your family in our prayers my friend.

Tim

 

[BlueHaya]

Dayum man....sorry this is happening to you. It is gut wrenching.

Plus 1 on what Don said....tell your daughter you love her and will do your best to protect her from harm, she needs to feel loved by you more than ever.

Thoughts and prayers sent to you and yours.

 

[Copperone]

Man sometimes you just have to wonder whats really going on. Thoughts and prayers...

 

[dadofthree]

I'd be all over the victims advocate about notification. Is your daughter alright ?

 

[JINKSTER]

(dadofthree @ Feb. 02 2007,17:58) I'd be all over the victims advocate about notification. Is your daughter alright ?

yes...Candice is fine...as a matter of fact?...yesterday...(friday)...there were 3 people looking after Candice at her bus-stop yesterday afternoon...her Grandpa (strapped and picking her up)...then this nice neighbourhood boy "Ethan" (who's always been gah-gah over Candice and would do anything for her)..he saw the grandfather parked there while driving by in his convertable eclipse and decided to hang around just in case annnd?....one of of very own here who is affiliated with the local PD and a close riding bud of mine...so she was well looked after yesterday afternoon.

Candice had a pretty enthusiastic voice when telling my wife and i about how prepared her gammy and poppy were thursday (when they came to pick her up) telling us they had a pistol, mace and cell phone and my wife tore her up telling her....

"NOW DO YOU SEE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS!

meanwhile...back on the farm?...Candices 8 year old little sister (Rachel) who simply adores her is now quite ticked at her older sister as well because now we won't let her ride her bike around the neighbourhood like we used to...as this whole event has put quite the kink in all of our daily lifestyles...and somebody mentioned "Gut Wrenching"?....you bet....to the point that i get hit with serious nausea several times a day...the kind where you wish you could puke but can't...while i carry my glock with me everywhere i go...so yes...somwhow i need to lighten up and try and put this behind us...and yesterday was Rachels 9th Birthday...we're celebrating it sunday...and now about 1/2 of the relatives that were going to show up aren't..cause of all the gang related BS Candice has brought upon us.

The good news?...Last night i walked into my father-inlaws house (family pizza night) and busted Candices chops by saying..."What's Up G?"...and boy did she get pissed...and told me that after all this crap?...she's all done with the hood/biotch gangsta shid....i can only hope and pray.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and..L8R, Bill.

 

[runeight]

this to shall pass..

runeight...

 

[Fate]

(JINKSTER @ Feb. 03 2007,12:19)

(dadofthree @ Feb. 02 2007,17:58) I'd be all over the victims advocate about notification. Is your daughter alright ?

yes...Candice is fine...as a matter of fact?...yesterday...(friday)...there were 3 people looking after Candice at her bus-stop yesterday afternoon...her Grandpa (strapped and picking her up)...then this nice neighbourhood boy "Ethan" (who's always been gah-gah over Candice and would do anything for her)..he saw the grandfather parked there while driving by in his convertable eclipse and decided to hang around just in case annnd?....one of of very own here who is affiliated with the local PD and a close riding bud of mine...so she was well looked after yesterday afternoon.

Candice had a pretty enthusiastic voice when telling my wife and i about how prepared her gammy and poppy were thursday (when they came to pick her up) telling us they had a pistol, mace and cell phone and my wife tore her up telling her....

"NOW DO YOU SEE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS!

meanwhile...back on the farm?...Candices 8 year old little sister (Rachel) who simply adores her is now quite ticked at her older sister as well because now we won't let her ride her bike around the neighbourhood like we used to...as this whole event has put quite the kink in all of our daily lifestyles...and somebody mentioned "Gut Wrenching"?....you bet....to the point that i get hit with serious nausea several times a day...the kind where you wish you could puke but can't...while i carry my glock with me everywhere i go...so yes...somwhow i need to lighten up and try and put this behind us...and yesterday was Rachels 9th Birthday...we're celebrating it sunday...and now about 1/2 of the relatives that were going to show up aren't..cause of all the gang related  BS Candice has brought upon us.

The good news?...Last night i walked into my father-inlaws house (family pizza night) and busted Candices chops by saying..."What's Up G?"...and boy did she get pissed...and told me that after all this crap?...she's all done with the hood/biotch gangsta shid....i can only hope and pray.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and..L8R, Bill.

If nothing else good is coming out of this, atleast it sounds as though it may have scared your daughter straight. I wish you the best. I hope everything turns out alright.

 

[Red05]

Bill, I'm so sorry to have managed to miss this thread until now. Your last post sounds like things have taken a turn for the better. Have faith, which I know you do, that your daughter will show remorse and that time will heal. Keep loving and being the awesome Dad that you are; please don't let this change you, you're great just the way you are