Many of you have been my friends over the years. Most of you, just on this forum but occasionally, I've been privileged to meet some of you in person. Those were always great times!
Five years ago, my beautiful wife, Nan, passed away. There is a thread here that VaBusa posted and there is more info there. It was the tragedy I could not and never will be able to describe.
One of the things we discussed when she was in hospice at home was that she and I were soul mates. Not really sure how to describe what that really means but she and I knew what it meant. There was never any doubt that we belonged together and our lives were complete because we were together.
It came out in those conversations we had that it doesn't make sense to believe that there is only one soul mate for each of us in life. With 7 billion or more people in the world, it's not reasonable to adhere to the idea that anyone is ever going to find THE one who is a soul mate. There is more than one for each of us. That doesn't mean you start collecting them up but for us, it meant that we could talk about what I was going to do after she passed away. She made me promise to find someone else to get together with "right away." I should say this, though, never make people promise you things when you're on your death bed!
"Right away" was something undefined. Was it six weeks? Three months? A year? As it turned out, it was about four years for me. There were a few preliminary events but it seemed like all of a sudden, I had the idea that I needed to start dating again.
Lemmetellya, most women my age are freakin' nuts. Ugh. Dating was a pain. Even one lady who I thought had potential turned out to be bizarre. Another stood me up twice and that was that. And so on. FWIW, most men are freaky too, not from my experience but from some single women my age I know who were also dating. They just didn't date me, for better or worse.
Christmas Eve, 2019, I was at a NYE party at a friend's house and having just been stood up by the aforementioned woman, I had gone solo. For the most part, I hung out in the kitchen chatting with a pretty, wonderful lady for most of the evening. I didn't ask for her number because I had the idea that I was going to continue to date the other woman until she stood me up again a few weeks later. At that point, I threw in the towel and decided that regardless of my promise to Nan, I was going to live single for the rest of my life and be dang happy about it.
About late June, I was having dinner with the same friends where I had gone to the NYE party. I asked about the lady I had chatted with in the kitchen that evening and asked if they would give her my phone number. I couldn't remember her name to save my life! I had thought about her a few times over the prior six months but never thought she'd be interested. Our mutual friends passed phone numbers back and forth and next thing I know, I'm dating Candace and having a very nice time with her. From July to October, we fell in love, I proposed and in February, we were married.
That's the "one thing led to another" version but the thought I wanted to leave here is that Candace is a soul mate, very much like Nan was. I say "very much like" in the sense that the connection between us is deep and complete for both of us. But here's the deep part: I was married to Nan for 27 years and she showed me what it is truly like to have a deep relationship and a truly meaningful love with another person. Because of her example to me, I was able to recognize it in Candace early on and there was never any real doubt that we are right for each other. We are soul mates and we have that connection that can't be denied.
My life has another chapter now, better than the chapter that covers the five years between Nan's passing and the time Candace and I got together.
Again, many of you are friends here going way back and I wanted all y'all to know that I'm happy again. It's the deep and satisfying happiness I knew I wanted. I can't describe it because words don't exist.
Onward and upward!
--Wag--
Five years ago, my beautiful wife, Nan, passed away. There is a thread here that VaBusa posted and there is more info there. It was the tragedy I could not and never will be able to describe.
One of the things we discussed when she was in hospice at home was that she and I were soul mates. Not really sure how to describe what that really means but she and I knew what it meant. There was never any doubt that we belonged together and our lives were complete because we were together.
It came out in those conversations we had that it doesn't make sense to believe that there is only one soul mate for each of us in life. With 7 billion or more people in the world, it's not reasonable to adhere to the idea that anyone is ever going to find THE one who is a soul mate. There is more than one for each of us. That doesn't mean you start collecting them up but for us, it meant that we could talk about what I was going to do after she passed away. She made me promise to find someone else to get together with "right away." I should say this, though, never make people promise you things when you're on your death bed!
"Right away" was something undefined. Was it six weeks? Three months? A year? As it turned out, it was about four years for me. There were a few preliminary events but it seemed like all of a sudden, I had the idea that I needed to start dating again.
Lemmetellya, most women my age are freakin' nuts. Ugh. Dating was a pain. Even one lady who I thought had potential turned out to be bizarre. Another stood me up twice and that was that. And so on. FWIW, most men are freaky too, not from my experience but from some single women my age I know who were also dating. They just didn't date me, for better or worse.
Christmas Eve, 2019, I was at a NYE party at a friend's house and having just been stood up by the aforementioned woman, I had gone solo. For the most part, I hung out in the kitchen chatting with a pretty, wonderful lady for most of the evening. I didn't ask for her number because I had the idea that I was going to continue to date the other woman until she stood me up again a few weeks later. At that point, I threw in the towel and decided that regardless of my promise to Nan, I was going to live single for the rest of my life and be dang happy about it.
About late June, I was having dinner with the same friends where I had gone to the NYE party. I asked about the lady I had chatted with in the kitchen that evening and asked if they would give her my phone number. I couldn't remember her name to save my life! I had thought about her a few times over the prior six months but never thought she'd be interested. Our mutual friends passed phone numbers back and forth and next thing I know, I'm dating Candace and having a very nice time with her. From July to October, we fell in love, I proposed and in February, we were married.
That's the "one thing led to another" version but the thought I wanted to leave here is that Candace is a soul mate, very much like Nan was. I say "very much like" in the sense that the connection between us is deep and complete for both of us. But here's the deep part: I was married to Nan for 27 years and she showed me what it is truly like to have a deep relationship and a truly meaningful love with another person. Because of her example to me, I was able to recognize it in Candace early on and there was never any real doubt that we are right for each other. We are soul mates and we have that connection that can't be denied.
My life has another chapter now, better than the chapter that covers the five years between Nan's passing and the time Candace and I got together.
Again, many of you are friends here going way back and I wanted all y'all to know that I'm happy again. It's the deep and satisfying happiness I knew I wanted. I can't describe it because words don't exist.
Onward and upward!
--Wag--
Congrats.
