Am I wrong? Input needed....
- Thread starter RussellJ
- Start date
bazmaniac
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Ditto.....i have NO tolerance for a-holes that get off on animal abuse....scum that behave like that are better off far, far away from the physical world!!
peterbusa
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Hey Blanca, you took the words out of my mouth,i couldnt get past the fact that this person hurt an animal ,lowlife.Drug addiction has nothing to do with what he did too that dog.
Rainbow7
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I agree with you, Russell. - It's sad when people make these choices...but the point is that they are making their own choices!
Where I used to work, we had a guy whose family members kept overdosing and the union was always expecting us to put our hands in our pockets to pay for the funerals. I refused, on the principles that 1) these people didn't even work with me, and, 2) I don't see why I should have to pay for junkies.
Where I used to work, we had a guy whose family members kept overdosing and the union was always expecting us to put our hands in our pockets to pay for the funerals. I refused, on the principles that 1) these people didn't even work with me, and, 2) I don't see why I should have to pay for junkies.
newman
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This one is very difficult for me as my elder brother died of a drug overdose in 1971 when he was 21 years old.
Russell you feel what you feel, you can't change your feelings, you are your own person. No I don't think your wrong.
Addiction is a terrible thing, I know people have free will if they want to take drugs, but it is not as simple as that.
There are things to take into account like mental illness, addictive personalties. Just the sheer pain of living sometimes.
Alcohol, drugs, prescription drugs, you can't judge a person for doing them, as you don't know why they do it to themselves, and sometimes they don't know themselves.
I'm not saying this is in all cases far from it, all I'm saying is you can't paint everybody with the same brush.
I'm having problems with my youngest son who is 26 year old, he lives in Iceland, and has been in rehab 3 times, he smokes weed and takes ecstasy and speed, not into the harder drugs as far as I know. He stops for a while then starts again.
His mum me and his brother have tried to help him, he came to live with me for a while, and I keep on telling him to come back and live with me again.
I don't know what I can do with him, apart from locking him up.
Every time I get a phone call from Iceland I fear the worst.
How many on here would admit to using drugs now, or in the past.
I've taken them, and this was after my brother died, stupid isn't it.
The thing is if one of your family died because of drugs, alcohol, would you feel the same way, that they were scum and that they deserved it, some how I don't think so.
Sorry for rambling on this is just the way I see things.
He was a%$& for shooting the dog.
Russell you feel what you feel, you can't change your feelings, you are your own person. No I don't think your wrong.
Addiction is a terrible thing, I know people have free will if they want to take drugs, but it is not as simple as that.
There are things to take into account like mental illness, addictive personalties. Just the sheer pain of living sometimes.
Alcohol, drugs, prescription drugs, you can't judge a person for doing them, as you don't know why they do it to themselves, and sometimes they don't know themselves.
I'm not saying this is in all cases far from it, all I'm saying is you can't paint everybody with the same brush.
I'm having problems with my youngest son who is 26 year old, he lives in Iceland, and has been in rehab 3 times, he smokes weed and takes ecstasy and speed, not into the harder drugs as far as I know. He stops for a while then starts again.
His mum me and his brother have tried to help him, he came to live with me for a while, and I keep on telling him to come back and live with me again.
I don't know what I can do with him, apart from locking him up.
Every time I get a phone call from Iceland I fear the worst.
How many on here would admit to using drugs now, or in the past.
I've taken them, and this was after my brother died, stupid isn't it.
The thing is if one of your family died because of drugs, alcohol, would you feel the same way, that they were scum and that they deserved it, some how I don't think so.
Sorry for rambling on this is just the way I see things.
He was a%$& for shooting the dog.
Josh
Registered
Your description paints a picture of a man with problems. Maybe he was a waste, maybe he had redeeming qualities you didn't see. He made some bad choices, and now he's dead. I can feel sympathy for the loss his family and friends are experiencing while still recognizing that he was a flawed individual. There's enough hate in the world already.
If I go out and wring the neck off my bike and my number comes up, I'm sure some folks would say "Oh, he got what was coming to him." That one aspect of my life may stick with some. But I'm a father to a wonderful eight-year-old daughter, a solid employee with a good career supporting our Nation's defense, and I have the love of a beautiful woman. There's enough to the life of a man that you can dislike aspects of his personality and behavior, yet still feel sympathy for his passing.
If I go out and wring the neck off my bike and my number comes up, I'm sure some folks would say "Oh, he got what was coming to him." That one aspect of my life may stick with some. But I'm a father to a wonderful eight-year-old daughter, a solid employee with a good career supporting our Nation's defense, and I have the love of a beautiful woman. There's enough to the life of a man that you can dislike aspects of his personality and behavior, yet still feel sympathy for his passing.
dmallord
Registered
addiction is not a choice. it is a disease. but...it is manageable. the key factor in addiction management is desire. if a person has that desire to stop/ stay stopped they will find the solution that will keep them clean. without that prime desire, they can be beaten, prayed over, intervened, whatever, and the end will be the same. jails, institutions, or death.
Newman, if it were my child, i'd say you are doing the right thing and never give up on your kid.
In this case: I'd certainly feel bad, but moreso that this young man squandered his greatest gift - his life. I don't feel much sympathy past that except for the tragedy this represents for his parents. And your buds around you doing the same stupid stuff - the point you need to make with them is to "WAKE UP AS THIS IS THE SAME HOLE YOU ARE HEADING INTO"...
In this case: I'd certainly feel bad, but moreso that this young man squandered his greatest gift - his life. I don't feel much sympathy past that except for the tragedy this represents for his parents. And your buds around you doing the same stupid stuff - the point you need to make with them is to "WAKE UP AS THIS IS THE SAME HOLE YOU ARE HEADING INTO"...
lil charlie
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Do I feel sorry for him….no, I don’t. You should feel bad that you don’t either. At the same time you can’t get all pissy that his friends and family feel for him. The true test of your feelings is to answer the question that Newman proposed. Would you feel any differently if it were a member of your family? I have a cousin that has been addicted to Heroin for what most of the family believes to be about 8-10 years. He is currently serving the second half of a prison term (he got arrested in a large heroin ring) in a halfway house/rehab center. This was his 1st offence so he got 6 months in the slammer and 12 in the rehab center. I think he only has a few months left before he’s out. Now, if once he’s out he goes back to his old life and dies of an overdose… Will I feel bad for him? Yes, he’s my family so I will feel bad that he wasted his life and his two small children will have to grow up without him. Would I expect anyone else to feel bad for him, not a chance in hell.
You don’t have to feel bad for not caring about him. But you can’t get mad at his “so called friends” because they care, just as they shouldn’t get mad a call you names for not caring. Just move on, and keep not caring to yourself so you don’t upset the ones who do care. Because if I were his friend or family and I heard you saying he was dirt I would be offended too….even if he really was dirt. No need to rub salt in the wound.
You don’t have to feel bad for not caring about him. But you can’t get mad at his “so called friends” because they care, just as they shouldn’t get mad a call you names for not caring. Just move on, and keep not caring to yourself so you don’t upset the ones who do care. Because if I were his friend or family and I heard you saying he was dirt I would be offended too….even if he really was dirt. No need to rub salt in the wound.
Russel,
I answered that you are wrong. Now please do not take this the wrong way. You have every right to feel the way you do. If you feel this way because of the drug overdose and only that then you are wrong and not a good friend to him in my eyes. Please do not take offense yet. I am not done with that part but need to address another part first. If you feel this way because of what he did to the dog then NO you are are NOT wrong.
Now back to the not a good friend part. As a friend you have a duty ( not responsibility ) but a duty to try and help your friend see the light of day and the error of his ways and just being a true friend. When I was in the Corps, a friend of mine thought repeat thought I had a problem with drinking because every time we were together hanging out I was drunk. He reported me. I went through counseling and what not but what really hit home is when my XO a Light Bird forced me to go with him to serve at a soup kitchen for the less fortunate. He served there every week one night a week and thought my going might wake me up. Wel I was only forced to go once, but I continued to go week after week. When I saw these people and talked to them about their stories I was able to see myself in that position in the future if I did not change my ways. It WOKE me up. All because a man who may have been my XO but more than that he was a true friend who saw the good in me more than I did took the time and the chance on me.
You may not be a in the same postion as my XO and able to force him, but as a friend you are in the position to offer help and assistance. you could have talked to the CO, XO about an annonomous person and explain the good qualities of this person and why they should be helped and maybe come up with a plan. But looking the ohter way and trying to ignore it is not helping.
Just my opinion. You ar entitled to yours as you my brother in arms have earned by giving of yourself to this country just like myself and others. I do not dislike you or think any less of you for your feelings and for what you may have or not have done for him. Just food for thought for next time.
I answered that you are wrong. Now please do not take this the wrong way. You have every right to feel the way you do. If you feel this way because of the drug overdose and only that then you are wrong and not a good friend to him in my eyes. Please do not take offense yet. I am not done with that part but need to address another part first. If you feel this way because of what he did to the dog then NO you are are NOT wrong.
Now back to the not a good friend part. As a friend you have a duty ( not responsibility ) but a duty to try and help your friend see the light of day and the error of his ways and just being a true friend. When I was in the Corps, a friend of mine thought repeat thought I had a problem with drinking because every time we were together hanging out I was drunk. He reported me. I went through counseling and what not but what really hit home is when my XO a Light Bird forced me to go with him to serve at a soup kitchen for the less fortunate. He served there every week one night a week and thought my going might wake me up. Wel I was only forced to go once, but I continued to go week after week. When I saw these people and talked to them about their stories I was able to see myself in that position in the future if I did not change my ways. It WOKE me up. All because a man who may have been my XO but more than that he was a true friend who saw the good in me more than I did took the time and the chance on me.
You may not be a in the same postion as my XO and able to force him, but as a friend you are in the position to offer help and assistance. you could have talked to the CO, XO about an annonomous person and explain the good qualities of this person and why they should be helped and maybe come up with a plan. But looking the ohter way and trying to ignore it is not helping.
Just my opinion. You ar entitled to yours as you my brother in arms have earned by giving of yourself to this country just like myself and others. I do not dislike you or think any less of you for your feelings and for what you may have or not have done for him. Just food for thought for next time.
Rainbow7
Registered
BULLCRAP! That is a lie they tell themselves and others so that they don't have to be accountable for their own behaviour. - Would you accept it if a pedophile tried to excuse their actions by saying, "I can't help it, I have a disease..."?
nabusa
Registered
If I pray for someone then I have sympathy for them. Those two go hand in hand. Reason I would have sympathy for that man is because what he was doing was a cry for help. Look at it like this, what if you had a daughter who was 16 years old. He was into drugs and rebelling and such. Would you try and help her if she tried to commit suicide or just have no sympathy for her because she should have known better then killing herself? It is the same thing, sucks that he didn't have anyone with him at the end to stop him. Maybe that little deed would have caused that man to change for the rest of his life.
Went through the same thing in January- after coming back off New Years leave, found out the day I returned to work that a fellow co-worker took her own life... I didn't know the reason & didn't care to know. Her parents had one request and that was for someone to drive her 2 horses and 2 dogs up to Aledo, Illinios from Charleston and I accepted. 18 hours later I meet her parents and they were grateful. Its sad to see the family especially the parents of situations like this. I wish that on no one
lease:
lease:
He was not my friend, just someone I saw at work. He was a junior Marine in a different platoon at the time. I was acquaintances with the person that owned the dog he shot. He had many people to go to for help, he was definitely not lacking in the area. I dont really think he had a drug problem perhaps. I think he just got stupid and took to many and thus the consequences followed.
Addiction is not a mental disease. Anyone can be addicted to anything. The stronger minded tend to be the ones not to fall into a pit of addiction but anyone can be reformed from it. I have never touched drugs or even cigarrettes in my life. I am not saying I am some perfect person, but by not doing so I feel that it cannot be hard for others to do the same.
04stretchedbusa
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He had a choice. & made the wrong one.
I think you are wrong, but I definitely see where you are coming from.
The way I see it life is a journey. You experience and you learn. I try to focus on my journey and not pass judgement on people for the path they choose. I don't drink, do drugs, gamble, etc. But I run down the road doing 150+ mph. So when I splat myself out on a country road is that any less of a waste than a guy who can't get away from the drugs?
I really understand how you feel. I have had a lot of disadvantages in my life and I still managed to do pretty well. But I never forget that at any moment something could have made me give up, broke my spirit. So when I see someone falter, I just say a prayer for them and keep gettin up.
One day it will be my turn to go and I can only hope I do it in style.
The way I see it life is a journey. You experience and you learn. I try to focus on my journey and not pass judgement on people for the path they choose. I don't drink, do drugs, gamble, etc. But I run down the road doing 150+ mph. So when I splat myself out on a country road is that any less of a waste than a guy who can't get away from the drugs?
I really understand how you feel. I have had a lot of disadvantages in my life and I still managed to do pretty well. But I never forget that at any moment something could have made me give up, broke my spirit. So when I see someone falter, I just say a prayer for them and keep gettin up.
One day it will be my turn to go and I can only hope I do it in style.
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