bad subject!! child support!

[mgnsn24]

Its a long story but I'll try and just give you the facts. I 100% agree to always supporting your children first and foremost. Start off by saying that.

About 3 years ago my ex-wife and i got a divorce. I've been paying my child support since 07 of august when we both agreed on a set amount. About 9 months ago they somehow said i should have been paying like $1k from January 07 till Oct 07. So at this time they throw me in the rears, which I'll never be able to pay off until years after they turn 18.

So I ask the ex-wife if there is something we can do to benefit us both (actually benefit the children!) Right now, I'm unemployed like many other people and bring in $1800 a month. I am court ordered to pay her $175 a month plus right now they take out the max out of my unemployment check 25%. She told me to offer her something through email. I really want to make this fair as possible for the both of us. Though she still has me by my balls. Anything less than the $448 a month I pay her is better for me if she whips out this back child support which let me add incrues interest charges as well.

We have 3 children together. She has the 7 and 8 year old. And I have the 14 year old, which i want to say came and lived with me cause she knows who the better parent is and who gives her the best home.

this is a very touchy subject! I want to offer her somethingthat is fair as possible but have no idea what to propose. Is there someone that I can go see to get some advice. This is over my head. I can offer her $250 or $300? Is there a better way to go at this? Maybe offer $200 and split any extra cost of the children that we have together?

If anyone can help with some input as where to go from here I would really appreciate it! I want this to be fair!

 

[jpowell490]

Email = Bad Idea and she knows it. It is a record of any and all your conversations she could use against you.

Phone, in person, or no go.

 

[PocketRocket]

Man I dont have children , and I dont know what to tell you .( maybe get a Good Attorney) ? The part of the GOV. stepping in and telling how much to pay in my opinion is wrong . They ( the GOV) gets a percentage so its in their interest to jack up the price. Then a friend of mine told me a story , This mad me madd too.. He and his brother both live in the same town , Both divorced , Both have 2 kids each. Since my friend makes More $$$ than his brother , He has to pay more $$$$. He's paying almost double . How can it cost Double to raise a kid in the same town , same school etc . AnyHow I'd say get a Good Down to Earth attorney , ( there are a few out there). Never pay in cash either... ( I know you know that ).. Good luck Bro..let us know what happens.

 

[Takeuon]

Its a long story but I'll try and just give you the facts. I 100% agree to always supporting your children first and foremost. Start off by saying that.

About 3 years ago my ex-wife and i got a divorce. I've been paying my child support since 07 of august when we both agreed on a set amount. About 9 months ago they somehow said i should have been paying like $1k from January 07 till Oct 07. So at this time they throw me in the rears, which I'll never be able to pay off until years after they turn 18.

So I ask the ex-wife if there is something we can do to benefit us both (actually benefit the children!) Right now, I'm unemployed like many other people and bring in $1800 a month. I am court ordered to pay her $175 a month plus right now they take out the max out of my unemployment check 25%. She told me to offer her something through email. I really want to make this fair as possible for the both of us. Though she still has me by my balls. Anything less than the $448 a month I pay her is better for me if she whips out this back child support which let me add incrues interest charges as well.

We have 3 children together. She has the 7 and 8 year old. And I have the 14 year old, which i want to say came and lived with me cause she knows who the better parent is and who gives her the best home.

this is a very touchy subject! I want to offer her somethingthat is fair as possible but have no idea what to propose. Is there someone that I can go see to get some advice. This is over my head. I can offer her $250 or $300? Is there a better way to go at this? Maybe offer $200 and split any extra cost of the children that we have together?

If anyone can help with some input as where to go from here I would really appreciate it! I want this to be fair!

This hits very close to me, as I'm currently going through the same thing. Fun times huh!
My question is who is watching the 7 & 8yr olds during the day right now? Is there some form of childcare cost associated with them? If so...you may do what I am currently doing which is pay 50% of her "summer camp" (daycare)costs, as well as stroking her an additional check of $xxx.00 each month.

I feel your pain bro and I wish you the best of luck. #1 in finding a job and #2 in your situation getting resolved amicably. As a Father you have rights, don't feel like you are entitled to get rail roaded! Getting time to spend w/ your kids is what is important & must never get lost sight of.
It's just sad how money is the measuring stick for this.

 

[busatrucker32]

I myself, have 3 children ages 9,8,6 yr old. I pay a total of 1043.00 a month for child support. I am right now trying for a appeal seeing at first , they said my support was going to be 364 a month for 2 of the children. Then the judge adds in my per diem , cause im a truck driver, and says i am going to pay 693.00 for 2 children. The information you gave is very sketchy, I would have to say, if you had a agreed amount and you been paying that, and its in the court order, i would fight the arrears. What really erks my nerve is that my ex wife makes over 50k a year plus gets about 8k from me tax free, and yet i cant claim my kids, but she can. And also she cant pay her mortgage ontime which is about 1000 a month, so y should i be penalized for her unorganized finances? And the reason y one persons child support is higher than the other, is that the court figures both incomes and what kind of "Lifestyle" the kids should be accustomed to both incomes if you two were still together. So basically, the father is always the one who struggles to make ends meet. Unless he has custody of the kids.

 

[dmrowe]

Email = Bad Idea and she knows it. It is a record of any and all your conversations she could use against you.

Phone, in person, or no go.

+1 Do you have an attorney? If not I think you need one.

 

[mgnsn24]

I have got railroaded! I live in california! If only I can explain how they back child support came about. It would take me at least a page! I am a great dad, thats why my 14 year old daughter would rather live broke than to go live with her mother! Though i know how important it is to have a daughter-mother relationship my daughter really doesnt want nothing to do with her mother. My daughter sees me struggling day in day out because of the money I have to give to her mother. Her mom can sit there and say she doesn't need to know about this stuff but when she ask me to get her something she wants alot of times I just say i can't afford it. Even when I was working making $23.00 hr I couldn't afford anything cause i was paying her mom 900 in child support and 600 in health care for the kids so I still ended up living on about $1400 a month in California I may add.

 

[mgnsn24]

This one is the best of all. Check this out! She made $22k....not a typo..just for being a serrogate mother...i think that is great by the way but she did it for the money!....And get this...the 22k she made off the baby the courts won't take that into consideration on money that she made that year! Courts say its seen as a gift! So put her $22k into her home and see if its even?? She is a sick woman!

 

[omslaw]

Email = Bad Idea and she knows it. It is a record of any and all your conversations she could use against you.

Phone, in person, or no go.

I disagree... I want everything in an email...so I *do* have the record of it.

 

[Draco1340]

Stay the hell out of Massachusetts.
I am paying $1135 A WEEK for two children for the last 10 years. 10 down and 10 more to go. Thats the equivilent of $72k / year gross. My ex runs a small engineering company with about 20 employees, and pays herself $25k / year so that my payments are maximized. I gave her the house, a vacation home on the Cape, and a vacation home up on the New Hampshire lakes, but my children "NEED" $5k a week. The whole system is complete total Bull Crap.

I am being taken back to court next month for an increase in payments, and will have to sell my two race bikes and trailer. I make a decent living, but I haven't been able to save a dime in 10 years.

Who was it that first said, Kill all the Lawyers... Wish I could offer you guys advice other than stay out of Mass.

 

[mgnsn24]

I'm just hoping we can come up with something together...not that we have agreed at all about anything in the past 3 years. but at least shes contemplating it or she either has something up her sleeve? She downplays me cause i didn't pay for my daughters braces but really truely after they take out 25% of the gross of my checks. i don't really have much left over but to pay for my bills, rent, and food! I have my Busa thats paid off but truely if I have nothing to myself, which I don't, why would I work!

 

[omslaw]

Stay the hell out of Massachusetts.
I am paying $1135 A WEEK for two children for the last 10 years. 10 down and 10 more to go. Thats the equivilent of $72k / year gross. My ex runs a small engineering company with about 20 employees, and pays herself $25k / year so that my payments are maximized. I gave her the house, a vacation home on the Cape, and a vacation home up on the New Hampshire lakes, but my children "NEED" $5k a week. The whole system is complete total Bull Crap.

I am being taken back to court next month for an increase in payments, and will have to sell my two race bikes and trailer. I make a decent living, but I haven't been able to save a dime in 10 years.

Who was it that first said, Kill all the Lawyers... Wish I could offer you guys advice other than stay out of Mass.

Yeah, those who are self-employed like to play the system. I also love how the amount that the kids "need" changes depending on the incomes. Don't get me wrong - I will support my kids...I just don't like supporting my ex.

The system is setup for those who don't want to pay. Those who do everything right and pay when they can and willingly...well, those are the who have to "pay".

 

[mgnsn24]

I do make money on the side umpiring! Its enough to get some of my daughters wants! She is now currently pursuing that money. I made $1500 dollars for the high school season. Wow..I'm rolling in it trying to make extra money...geez

 

[HT_USMC]

Yeah, those who are self-employed like to play the system. I also love how the amount that the kids "need" changes depending on the incomes. Don't get me wrong - I will support my kids...I just don't like supporting my ex.

The system is setup for those who don't want to pay. Those who do everything right and pay when they can and willingly...well, those are the who have to "pay".

+1 My exact feelings on the matter

 

[omslaw]

Yeah, unfortunately, any taxable income just gets added to your total...increasing your obligation.

I've done the calculations for me and if my salary were 1/2 of what I make now, the kids "need" less than 1/2 of what I pay; screwed up if you ask me...I'm being penalized for having a decent job.

I'd love to have accountability for how child support is used. Xbox controllers, new cell phones, etc. are not what I consider valid expenses for child support.

Man, I feel for ya. Just a few weeks ago, my kids were asking me why I can't get them stuff...I just had to bite my tongue; they are still too young to be involved in this stuff...

 

[Tdog]

Oh please don't get me started on this subject! This is one of the most outdated laws or regulations or whatever you want to call it in place today. The men do have rights but they are very few. Until our so called judges grow a backbone and the lawyers stay the h3LL out of it we won't ever have a chance!

 

[Takeuon]

Yeah, unfortunately, any taxable income just gets added to your total...increasing your obligation.

I've done the calculations for me and if my salary were 1/2 of what I make now, the kids "need" less than 1/2 of what I pay; screwed up if you ask me...I'm being penalized for having a decent job.

I'd love to have accountability for how child support is used. Xbox controllers, new cell phones, etc. are not what I consider valid expenses for child support.

Man, I feel for ya. Just a few weeks ago, my kids were asking me why I can't get them stuff...I just had to bite my tongue; they are still too young to be involved in this stuff...

This is what scares me the most! My 'lil stinker is 6. She has an idea of whats going w/ Mommy & Daddy, but not the hard core details. I am so scared of what will happen as she matures and starts to put the pieces together. I really hope she understands how much I've gone through to try and be with her. And not to be upset that it didnt work out between her Mom & I.

 

[busa186]

Do you have a division of child support in you area? I live in Oregon and they are not DAD friendly but they do have a child support calculator. put you income in and then put her income in and you could see what that does. example.

you:2500 a month (gross)
her: 1800 a month (gross)

They figure that by taking your weekly and multiply by 4.3 for the month.

With no childcare cost involved and no medical involved. You would be paying about $331 a month.

PM me if you want I have too much experience with this. Collecting and paying

There is also a organization out there called DAD (Dads Against Discrimination.)

 

[BlueHaya]

First off....you need to understand why they said you should have been paying more than you were. I am sure it is based on income, but if you have paper showing a fixed amount it shouldnt matter.


Sounds like your court papers say $175 a month plus...? 25% of any income?

Dont agree to anything or change anything without going through the DA's office to have it legal...anything else can come back to bite you.

 

[mgnsn24]

And I know some people are just saying deal with it. With what I've been doing the past 3 years. I know I have to pay. check this out..Since I've been laid off child support went down to $175 a month. I owe back child support cause the judge put me in the rears from the start. Even though I had them 50 50. so out of my check for the next 20 years they will be taking 25% of it. The max for them. so ive been paying the 175 plus they take out another 273 which goes to back child support. This is what gets me! So I have a few dollars $140 in my banking account to live on. They took me down to $0 twice. putting a hold on my funds which cost me 100 in bank fees the first time. second time I had 2 transactions that didnt go through cause they took me to 0. cost me $40 that time which the bank nicely overturned. This is fing bullcrap!