Fatherhood

[MC MUSTANG]

Wow. Well, let me start by saying that she is very young - one way to call her bluff, if it is one, is to offer to sit with her parents and discuss the issues. I agree with what has been said, in that you do need to man up, if in fact she is pregnant and if in fact the baby is yours. One of the things that jumps out at me in the responses is a lot of references to "it"; if she is pregnant, then you are talking about a baby - however, please don't misunderstand - I am very prochoice! But what ever action is taken, birth, adoption, abortion - there are two people who will have to live with what ever decision is made - so be a part of that decision.
Something to think about - I know several people who have had abortions (either personally or as part of a couple) and I don't know a single one who years later didn't make a comment about how thier child would have been 10 this year, or something similar.
I am rambling and I apologize for that, but I feel for you, I really do - make sure you do not make the mistake of trying to force a relationship for the child's sake. #1. Kid's are a heck of a lot smarter than adults give them credit for - they will know.
#2. Why spend your youth in misery because you are tied to someone who you don't belong with?
#3. Do you want to deal with all the nastyness of a break-up OR the nastyness of a divorce?

I'm sure none of this helps, but I feel better for jotting it down...

 

[dudewizr]

I

Decide to keep it? Are you guys out of your minds?

  YOu talk about this child which has no say in the matter like it's a rear tire "hey you gonna keep it?"  You guys would fight to the death to protect your Busas but would throw a child out like dirty dish water or at least support someone who would!  Makes me sick, yeah that's real family oriented!  Pat yourselves on the back for that one.

MAN UP! You obviously cared enough about her for probably a whole 2 minutes (long enough to create this issue), how about sticking it out and supporting her through this situation until enough information is avavilable to determine your responsibilities.

Let me start off with stating I am a Christian.

Second let me state the God that I believe in doesn’t threaten, nor lay guilt nor try to coerce in anyway the children he loves and cares about. he lets them make their own decision, right or wrong it is our lives..


If you want to pray for him, pray for him, if you want to lovingly tell him what Gods will is or what you perceive as Gods will, then do it.

But what ever decision he is going to make is going to be between him, the "mother" and God.. and he is accountable for his own actions.

As Projekt stated, it is easy to cast stones when you are not walking in that persons shoes.

None of us on this board will have to deal with anything, supporting the child, giving the child up for adoption, or the second guessing and guilt felt if abortion is chosen.

Regardless of the decision, the wheels are already in motion and the consequences for the actions are already at the doorstep. Regardless of the decision, there will be consequences of one kind or another.

Second, you do not know what busaJUNKEE position is on religion, I can tell you this, if he doesn’t believe in God, your words will fall on deaf ears so they are a waste.

if he does believe in God, then your comments are more of trying to get him to commit to a certain action based on guilt.

And again, the God I believe in doesn’t use guilt to get people to do things.

You want to be a servant of God? do what Jesus would do, show him the way in a loving manner, offer him words of wisdom, show him love and compassion.

Don’t beat him down like a dog, Jesus would never do that.

And what he did was make a mistake, which was the whole reason Jesus died for us, to cover us when we do mess up.

busaJUNKEE in this thread is the ONLY person that is personally being affected by this. No one here has the right to belittle him or slam him. He came here asking for advice and admitted he made a mistake. What purpose does it serve to rub his nose in it?

1. I never once brought God into this, he can handle his own.
2. I would never attempt to imply to someone what Gods will is in their life.
3. To make the very statement regarding casting stones when not walking in his shoes sounds like you just did the same. I have been in his shoes or I would not even consider offering my viewpoint. I know what it is like as an even younger than 25 to have a girl cry foul and claim to be pregnant and instantly she wants an abortion and you have no say in the matter. A day will never go by that you won't wonder. You may meet that perfect person in 10 years that can't bear children and you will always wonder "why me", if you have any pride in your family name imagine the thought of your seed never being passed on and to think the one opportunity you had someone hit the delete button on you.
4. Jesus didn't die to cover our sins period, one needs to beleive and repent first.
5. I did not find out through the grapevine about this situation and then air it out in a public forum, someone made a choice (notice I didn't call it a mistake as most have). I recognize this girl could be just trying to dupe him out of cash, or even trying to ruin a good relationship that he has now with someone else. But at some point man you have to start thinking about consequences of your actions and a childs life can't just be regarded as something than can be erased like a white board becasue it's inconvenient. I stil satnd by the fact that he doesn't have all the facts yet, is she actually pregnant, is it really his child, then she has a decision (he doesn't have to support her decision) and he has a decision (his generally won't count). And after all is said he brought this conversation in here asking for what I perceived to be advice, insight and direction. I offered my insight based upon actuall experience so if you feel better by trying to belittle me, point fingers and toss your stones, that's cool with me.

 

[thrasherfox]

I

Decide to keep it? Are you guys out of your minds?

  YOu talk about this child which has no say in the matter like it's a rear tire "hey you gonna keep it?"  You guys would fight to the death to protect your Busas but would throw a child out like dirty dish water or at least support someone who would!  Makes me sick, yeah that's real family oriented!  Pat yourselves on the back for that one.

MAN UP! You obviously cared enough about her for probably a whole 2 minutes (long enough to create this issue), how about sticking it out and supporting her through this situation until enough information is avavilable to determine your responsibilities.

Let me start off with stating I am a Christian.

Second let me state the God that I believe in doesn’t threaten, nor lay guilt nor try to coerce in anyway the children he loves and cares about. he lets them make their own decision, right or wrong it is our lives..


If you want to pray for him, pray for him, if you want to lovingly tell him what Gods will is or what you perceive as Gods will, then do it.

But what ever decision he is going to make is going to be between him, the "mother" and God.. and he is accountable for his own actions.

As Projekt stated, it is easy to cast stones when you are not walking in that persons shoes.

None of us on this board will have to deal with anything, supporting the child, giving the child up for adoption, or the second guessing and guilt felt if abortion is chosen.

Regardless of the decision, the wheels are already in motion and the consequences for the actions are already at the doorstep. Regardless of the decision, there will be consequences of one kind or another.

Second, you do not know what busaJUNKEE position is on religion, I can tell you this, if he doesn’t believe in God, your words will fall on deaf ears so they are a waste.

if he does believe in God, then your comments are more of trying to get him to commit to a certain action based on guilt.

And again, the God I believe in doesn’t use guilt to get people to do things.

You want to be a servant of God? do what Jesus would do, show him the way in a loving manner, offer him words of wisdom, show him love and compassion.

Don’t beat him down like a dog, Jesus would never do that.

And what he did was make a mistake, which was the whole reason Jesus died for us, to cover us when we do mess up.

busaJUNKEE in this thread is the ONLY person that is personally being affected by this. No one here has the right to belittle him or slam him. He came here asking for advice and admitted he made a mistake. What purpose does it serve to rub his nose in it?

1.  I never once brought God into this, he can handle his own.
2.  I would never attempt to imply to someone what Gods will is in their life.
3.  To make the very statement regarding casting stones when not walking in his shoes sounds like you just did the same.  I have been in his shoes or I would not even consider offering my viewpoint.  I know what it is like as an even younger than 25 to have a girl cry foul and claim to be pregnant and instantly she wants an abortion and you have no say in the matter.  A day will never go by that you won't wonder.  You may meet that perfect person in 10 years that can't bear children and you will always wonder "why me", if you have any pride in your family name imagine the thought of your seed never being passed on and to think the one opportunity you had someone hit the delete button on you.
4.  Jesus didn't die to cover our sins period, one needs to beleive and repent first.
5. I did not find out through the grapevine about this situation and then air it out in a public forum, someone made a choice (notice I didn't call it a mistake as most have).  I recognize this girl could be just trying to dupe him out of cash, or even trying to ruin a good relationship that he has now with someone else.  But at some point man you have to start thinking about consequences of your actions and a childs life can't just be regarded as something than can be erased like a white board becasue it's inconvenient.  I stil satnd by the fact that he doesn't have all the facts yet, is she actually pregnant, is it really his child, then she has a decision (he doesn't have to support her decision) and he has a decision (his generally won't count).  And after all is said he brought this conversation in here asking for what I perceived to be advice, insight and direction.  I offered my insight based upon actuall experience so if you feel better by trying to belittle me, point fingers and toss your stones, that's cool with me.

Fair enough.

 

[BigDiesel]

can everybody say, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO-SAAAAAAAAAAAA" let it go fellas.



this thread is to offer advice n support for a member with a problem. if ya'll are guna wage Religion battles-im not referring to any one person, this is for anyone reading in this thread-do so by PM n just pizz each other off, this guy has enuf drama in his life right now, dont give'em more.