Officer- You know I got you on radar at 150mph on radar while I was sitting at the bridge.
me-really?
officer-why were you going that fast?
me-I have a very important job!
Officer-what job could be that important that you need to be doing 150mph?
Me-I'm a rectum strecher.
officer-whats that?
me-well I start with 1 finger and then move to 2 fingers and keep streching it until it gets 6 feet.
officer- What the hell do you gonna do witha 6 foot rectum?!
Me- give him a radar gun and put him on the other side of the bridge...
officer-
