I really dont know what to do!!!
- Thread starter ditchdr
- Start date
I wouldn't, but that's me
Dude, think worst case: i.e. you do it, and they/y'all have a son. Now growing up with two Lesbians may push him into thinking Homosexuality is cool. So what if HE turns out to be a "fun boy", now YOU are crushed, knowing that your son is a fairy.
I wouldn't do it.
But, I just saying, though .................
I wouldn't do it.
But, I just saying, though .................
I was thinking about this some more and if it were me, I would ask them some questions about what their expectations are as far as raising a child. Discipline, education, beliefs etc...... Would you be Ok with their answers. Could you stand by and not interfere with their authority. Would they allow you a role in the childs life. Would your wife be able to handle this. She may say sure no problem, but being a woman and looking at another woman carrying her husbands child, I would think it would only be natural for her to feel some jealousy and or resentment. Could be a strain on you two. Don't make a hasty decision, really think about it and keep talking to your wife. Good luck!!
Only one real reason not to do it: Money.
If they break up and the one who keeps the kid needs money, guess what? She's going to go through State Welfare and they will require that they tell who the father is. Then, the state will come after YOU for back child support and future child support until the kid is 18. In fact, if the kid decides to go to college, you could be on the hook until the kid is 24. Bear in mind that the state will do this NO MATTER if the custodial parent does not want to inflict this on you. She will not have a choice about it.
Even if the state doesn't go after you, it's very possible that the custodial parent could come after you and get child support regardless of how friendly she is now. People desperate for money can begin to change their views very quickly.
You MAY have a leg to stand on in the case of medically assisted sperm donation and an in-vitro fertilization but I really wouldn't place any bets on it.
This is an issue which has not been decided by the courts yet. You're playing with fire and with your family's future financial security.
I assure you, it won't matter WHAT documents are signed by who in order to presume to leave you off the hook for this, it is NOT going to stand up in court if there is no precedent for it and if the judge decides to rule in favor of giving the custodial parent at least a part of your and your wife's future income. As you are undoubtedly already aware, they ALWAYS rule in favor of the kid, whatever that comes to mean in any specific case.
Your call but you'd be better off going to Vegas every week for the rest of your life.
Having said all of that, I didn't get the impression that they wanted you to plow the field and plant the seed personally but if so and if your wife is okay with that, Wow. Just, wow! Send video!
As for jealousy, your wife could easily change her mind and despise you for it later on and so could the partner of the other woman. Strange things can happen in those cases.
Frankly, I think you have more cons than pros on this one.
--Wag--
If they break up and the one who keeps the kid needs money, guess what? She's going to go through State Welfare and they will require that they tell who the father is. Then, the state will come after YOU for back child support and future child support until the kid is 18. In fact, if the kid decides to go to college, you could be on the hook until the kid is 24. Bear in mind that the state will do this NO MATTER if the custodial parent does not want to inflict this on you. She will not have a choice about it.
Even if the state doesn't go after you, it's very possible that the custodial parent could come after you and get child support regardless of how friendly she is now. People desperate for money can begin to change their views very quickly.
You MAY have a leg to stand on in the case of medically assisted sperm donation and an in-vitro fertilization but I really wouldn't place any bets on it.
This is an issue which has not been decided by the courts yet. You're playing with fire and with your family's future financial security.
I assure you, it won't matter WHAT documents are signed by who in order to presume to leave you off the hook for this, it is NOT going to stand up in court if there is no precedent for it and if the judge decides to rule in favor of giving the custodial parent at least a part of your and your wife's future income. As you are undoubtedly already aware, they ALWAYS rule in favor of the kid, whatever that comes to mean in any specific case.
Your call but you'd be better off going to Vegas every week for the rest of your life.
Having said all of that, I didn't get the impression that they wanted you to plow the field and plant the seed personally but if so and if your wife is okay with that, Wow. Just, wow! Send video!
As for jealousy, your wife could easily change her mind and despise you for it later on and so could the partner of the other woman. Strange things can happen in those cases.Frankly, I think you have more cons than pros on this one.
--Wag--
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Only one real reason not to do it: Money.
If they break up and the one who keeps the kid needs money, guess what? She's going to go through State Welfare and they will require that they tell who the father is. Then, the state will come after YOU for back child support and future child support until the kid is 18. In fact, if the kid decides to go to college, you could be on the hook until the kid is 24. Bear in mind that the state will do this NO MATTER if the custodial parent does not want to inflict this on you. She will not have a choice about it.
Even if the state doesn't go after you, it's very possible that the custodial parent could come after you and get child support regardless of how friendly she is now. People desperate for money can begin to change their views very quickly.
You MAY have a leg to stand on in the case of medically assisted sperm donation and an in-vitro fertilization but I really wouldn't place any bets on it.
This is an issue which has not been decided by the courts yet. You're playing with fire and with your family's future financial security.
I assure you, it won't matter WHAT documents are signed by who in order to presume to leave you off the hook for this, it is NOT going to stand up in court if there is no precedent for it and if the judge decides to rule in favor of giving the custodial parent at least a part of your and your wife's future income. As you are undoubtedly already aware, they ALWAYS rule in favor of the kid, whatever that comes to mean in any specific case.
Your call but you'd be better off going to Vegas every week for the rest of your life.
Having said all of that, I didn't get the impression that they wanted you to plow the field and plant the seed personally but if so and if your wife is okay with that, Wow. Just, wow! Send video!
Frankly, I think you have more cons than pros on this one.
--Wag--
Funny you should say that as I was going to post the same thing. Only difference is....I've scene this one played out already. Everything was cool for 5 years, the dykes split up and my niebor ended up having to pay back child support for 5 years plus he's obligated to pay from now on. Not only that but the kids really ****ed up in the head(I hate to say that about a kid but he is). Anyway, last I heard, he's 8 years old and "daddy's" still paying over $400 month for him and doesnt even get to see him. It seems that since he made no effort to see him for the first 5 years of his life(why would he have???) the judge called it abandonment so he still pays the money every week but no visitation rights. doesnt even live in the same state anymore. Anyhow, theres your "real world" scenario.
Great post; well thought out. I agree.
Me too or is that four
the story was getting good, then you spoiled it with the baby thing
O
outtahand
All I know is that parenthood comes with legal ramifications, and if the relationship with the intended parents is informal that could lead to many complications.
Is it worth the bragging rights?
Maybe you could find some less risky bragging rights? ???
Did you feel a need for bragging rights before this was presented to you?
Rhetorically speaking, of course.
Good luck with your decision.
Is it worth the bragging rights?
Maybe you could find some less risky bragging rights? ???
Did you feel a need for bragging rights before this was presented to you?
Rhetorically speaking, of course.
Good luck with your decision.
Would it be an insemination or direct deposit?
I vote for direct deposit. Are we voting Similar threads
