I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but here are my comments just based on your post."let's just be friends". That Sh!t SUCKS!!! I don't know why, but EVERYTIME something goes right for me, it gets fugged up!
Backstory: I'm 21, never really been on dates. I end up meating this girl on the myspace.com, turns out our lives were pretty much the same. We both came from pastor families; my step-dad cheated on my mom, so did her dad; we have the same wierd sense of humor; and ALOT of other things that ran fairly parralel. Anyway, I let myself fall in love with her, and I started changing sh!t in my life some. Not because I didn't want to, I had wanted to, she just helped give me the inspiration to do so. I had cut WAY back on my cussing, (I'm Really bad about it sometimes), and a couple other things. I was actually HAPPY for once in my life, then that happiness get's ripped out and thrown around. It's like god wants to toy with me. I had stopped going to church when my step-dad cheated on my mom (if you can't trust a pastor, who can you trust, right?), and I was going to start going again with her, but fugg it all now. I just don't know if I care about anything anymore. All I have that I care about now is my bike. This is going to be a deppressing winter if I can't get the bike out. I guess I got too close for only going out with her a month or so, but I thought everything in our lives was so close to each others, and I ended up meeting her at the end of her relationship, It must have been ment to be, but alas, I'm an ASS! The thing that gets me, is something was telling me "don't get too close yet, she just got out of a serious relationship, she might not be ready for another just yet", but of course I didn't listen, and that's exactly what happened, she wasn't ready for another relationship. I understand that, I don't blame her, I blame my DAMN SELF!! I didn't listen to myself, and I let myself fall in love. I know I sound like a puss, and if you have a negative comment, keep it to your damn self! I just needed to vent.
Life isn't always positive, either, so my comments may not be positive. But hang tough. I've been through this shid in my sultry past too so I know a little bit about it!
21 is too young to have a committed relationship. My opinion, of course. Date around for now. 25 is the earliest but only if you have your edumacation completed and your career on track. Relationships have a bad habit of either destroying both completely OR at least making them much much harder to get.
You're still young. You can still move on. It's just a simple matter of changing your direction. Ultimately, it will turn out okay in the long run if you work at it.
Regardless of all that, falling in love is not a bad thing, however. In my opinion, it just happens. You were inspired to improve yourself because of it and there's nothing at all wrong with that. But keep that feeling. Keep taking continuous steps at self-improvement. Self development should be a lifelong project for everyone, regardless. I admit, love makes it easier to get motivated and stay on track but we can all use some internal, self-directed impetus to improve even more.
You may have some significant downtime during the winter so good. Use that time wisely and learn some new stuff. The BEST thing to do is learn a new language. A quarter of the world's population speaks Mandarin. Suggest starting there and putting some hours into it every day and you'll be glad you did some day. I promise.
You've heard it before but I'll say it again. Happiness is a state of mind, not something someone can take from you. Granted, good things can be taken from us all and create momentary misery for us. But only you can allow your long-term, CORE center of overall happiness be assailed. Keep a grip on it, at least for memory's sake.
Last but not least, venting is good! Hang tough and remember that when I come on here to vent, I expect some good advice from you in return!
Hang tough, bro. You'll be okay.
--Wag--