OK, Worst thing you have done to your Spouse?

[Revlis]

OK I mentioned on another thread that I ducked out of the way of a sparrow, forgetting that my girlfriend at the time (Now my Wife) was riding pillion. She caught it in the upper chest...Kinda messed up, but I just reacted you know, something comes at your head you duck...I did, and all she saw was bird!!!

 

[Revlis]

I won't even mention the time I had her over my shoulders and went running down the hallway...

Yeah well, I kinda forgot about the Thermostat...Yeah, I cleaned that bad boy right off the wall with her left shoulder...
She was less than pleased but we both got a laugh out of that one.

Or the Absolute worst....

We never smoke inside right? Well when I was an E-3 in the Air Force we had an apartment off base In Omaha, on the third floor. It had a little deck that we would go out on and smoke. Well one evening it was prolly about 20degrees out and snowing. We went out to smoke, I finished real quick and went back in and took a nice long hot shower getting ready for bed. As I am toweling off I hear this wierd banging noise...I figure it must be the wife in the Kitchen or something so I brush my teeth and finish drying.
Well, as I step out of the Bathroom, I realize there is still no Wife...So I go to see what she is doing in the Kitchen still...Yeah... She was locked out on this little bitty deck for a good 20 minutes. Apparantly I had locked it out of habbit when I had come in... So there is this frozen lil woman out on the deck looking at me like a cold soggy frozen ass drowned rat...There was nothing else she could do but make noise and hope I looked for her...Man I felt bad about that one...She's just a little thing after all...

 

[Revlis]

Significant Other and Buddy stories are appreciated as well, for you poor (Lucky Bastards) I mean Poor batchelors/batchelorette's....

 

[(silencer)]

I was playing golf with a buddy and his wife a couple months ago.. and she stepped up to the tee box.. swung.. and hit the ball off the side of the driver.. it shot straight into a tree to our right and redirected back at us.. he caught that line drive right between his cojones. I couldn't imagine the pain.. needless to say our round was cut short that day.. and so was his libido.
si.

 

[OnAHiABusa]

Wife abuse huh?
Well, we've been married a lot of years and I'd have to say there's been a fair amount of abuse, going both ways, but I'll limit to bike abuse. Years ago we were going on a trip from Chicago area to northern Wisconsin with some friends. I was riding my Kaw and the other folks were driving the car. The wife was going to be a good sport and ride with me to Madison, about 100 miles. Then I would ride the remaining 200 miles by myself.
Well, we got our directions crossed and missed the connection in Madison. And what's worse, it started to rain. Rain In October
in Cheeseland is not nice. Anyway she had to tough it out the
last 200 with me.
Ever since I've had trouble getting her to ride. She comes up with all kind of excuses; too cold, mess up the hair, but the most originial, I think, is that it gives her pimples on her butt.
How do you fight that one?

 

[BulletTrain]

Dammit, Rev! You gave' 'er the bird, literally, and tried to freeze 'er to death and she still married ya? You'd better keep that one!

 

[Revlis]

Never thought of it that way, but yeah I gave her the bird... or at least most of it delivered at about 70 MPH.

 

[Mikey D]

Ever since I've had trouble getting her to ride. She comes up with all kind of excuses; too cold, mess up the hair, but the most originial, I think, is that it gives her pimples on her butt.
How do you fight that one?

Baby powder & tell her to stop whining!

You could also offer to apply it for her!

 

[Mikey D]

Been married three times so I can't tell ya'll some of the worst.  

My new beloved wife dosen't like speed, (or cussing or drinkin') so in her opinion the worst was when I took her into the triple digits on a freeway on ramp.  It took her months to get back on the bike!

 

[L4G4RT0]

On one of the first times she seated in the Busa I drove at about 180mph... Lucky me she liked it :tounge: LOL

 

[BulletTrain]

Ever since I've had trouble getting her to ride. She comes up with all kind of excuses; too cold, mess up the hair, but the most originial, I think, is that it gives her pimples on her butt.
How do you fight that one?

Baby powder & tell her to stop whining!

You could also offer to apply it for her!

:bounce:

That's too friggin' funny, Mikey!!! Ya got me cryin' here...

 

[use2b]

came home drunk and found i was locked out of the house.
it was base housing and i had just returned from Vietnam.
anyway i am beating the hell out of the door at 2 AM and she looks out the window and says i am not coming in.
this pisses me off to no end and i start kicking the door yelling that if she don't open it i will knock it the hell down.
[ forgive the run on sentences]
any way i soon notice i have an audience and people hanging out of windows watching this drunk trying to get into his house.
i seem to be getting no where kicking it so i get way back and with a loud marine hitting the beach type yell , run into the door at top speed. Damn solid wood door did not budge!
as i am laying there holding my shoulder i go into this ego crises as i realize that this big bad marine Sgt. is quickly loosing his Alpha male status and i must get in and fast.

about that time i look over and see my new 1973 CB 350 Honda under the tarp. just brought it back from japan in a crate for $395.
so i rebound from my temporary defeat and commence my hastily devised plan of getting into the house by placing my 2x12 loading board on the 3 steps.
soon i am a few yards in front of the porch revving the motor and cursing -[ hoping she will back down! ]-- only to see her appear in the window and flip me off!
GEEERRRRRRRR that does it.
My drunk self is thinking that if i don't hit the door hard enough i will have to do it all over again , so i tach her up in 2nd gear and hit full throttle before hitting the ramp.
one other calculation that i over looked was the fact that i would be air born at that speed!
like to have cut my fool head off as the bike crashed through the door , crossed the room and destroyed my new recliner.
fortunately the MP's had got there in time to help get me out from under the bike before the leaking gas tank caught fire.
I was amazed at the load applause i received from the gathered crowd as i was being hauled off beaming from my brief victory.

 

[Revlis]

use2b, From a Those were the days you could kinda get away with stuff like that perspective, all I can say is OORAH!

Teach that damn door a thing or too...

Seriously funny story though, thanks for sharing man...

 

[jwcfbd]

USE2B THAT IS SOME FUNNY STUFF.

 

[Big_E]

thats military life for you

the funniest story i have ever read.... thanks for sharing

 

[Tree]

I guess the worst thing I did was lived out of state for 6 months. I was enjoying sunny Florida for the entire winter and she was stuck in IL for the winter. Only saw her 3 times from Oct to May. I was busy spending time out side, at the beach, at state parks, etc.

Much worse for her than me.

Later,

Steve

 

[cache]

use2b, sounds like something I woulda done.
however, the army taught me to use the bike as a projectile and jump off before it enters the doorway!

 

[cache]

Revlis,
my story is minor, but the last time I took my wife for a ride on the busa, she had to wear this helmet that was too large for her...
get going for a nice scenic ride, find a long straightaway and hammer it. Well, of course I tucked.
She on the other hand didnt. The extra large helmet turned on her and nearly twisted her head off. I kept pointing at the nice scenery, etc.. but no response.
She didn't complain after the ride, but I felt bad about it. The rear seat has not been on since.  

 

[HP Junkie]

cache ,didthe same thing with my wife on a zx900 ninja, but she asked for it. we were riding with a friend and he was taunting us and she said lose him so i did, at about 130 her head was whippin like a bobble doll and she was punching me in the back. i get the pinch now after about 90 or so.

 

[Revlis]

Revlis,
my story is minor, but the last time I took my wife for a ride on the busa, she had to wear this helmet that was too large for her...
get going for a nice scenic ride, find a long straightaway and hammer it. Well, of course I tucked.
She on the other hand didnt. The extra large helmet turned on her and nearly twisted her head off. I kept pointing at the nice scenery, etc.. but no response.
She didn't complain after the ride, but I felt bad about it. The rear seat has not been on since.  

Oh Man, That's funny...

It's not all that extreme but the imagry is what counts...


Something my wife learned long ago, you might pass on to the missus. The Good Ole' HEADBUTT. When I do something my wife really doesn't like or she needs something NOW I get a thunk on the back of my lid, if she really doesn't like it I get a BIG OLD THwack helmet to helmet, no harm, but you get the message quick... Might help her get back on if she knows she gets to head butt you...