So I'll leave it up to y'all. AmI right or wrong?

Blanca BusaLess

Blanca BusaLess

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So I'll leave it up to y'all. Am I right or wrong?

To preface:

Last Thursday wife and I are at my sons soccer game. There is a kid playing who's got a Mohawk haircut. I look at the wife and in no uncertain terms say 'my son will never have a haircut like that.'
She looks at me and gives me a silent 'ok' nod.

He's having trouble in school and acting up and I just don't think a distracting wild haircut is right for this time.

So Saturday I get a text 'Adam has a Mohawk'

I'm like wtf did she just say? I call her and explain my position again and she says it's too late it's what he wanted. Im again like wtf?! Sorry I'm a bit traditional and think a nice boy haircut is what he needs so maybe he will act like one. Certain things like clothes and what he wants to eat ok fine he can choose but his haircut, no its gonna be the way his parents want it to look. I don't have a problem with Mohawks generally but on a five year old I dont think so.

My problem lies in the fact that she said he's her son , she carried him in her belly and she's gonn do what she wants. So I tripped her up a bit. I said 'I see, so it's not really that Adam wanted it it's that you wanted it and apparently did it just to spite me?'

Again yes she repeats the above and prove my point.
Now I am traditional but also do think we as a couple should talk, discuss and agree upon things together BUT when a decision cannot be reached it is the mans final word that goes. Just how I am. In the end when no agreement can be reached the man of the house gets the final word.

I'm hiding now cuz BoB is gonna tell me Im wrong but still it's how I am. It's worked for ten years but now over a simple haircut I haven't spoken to her in three days. My son looks like a wet rat. You know who said that? My father. I skyped him. First time he's seen his grandson in three weeks and he said 'my grandson looks like a wet rat!' and hung up on us. It brought me to tears. My mom saw my son today and called cryig saying she doesn't want to see her grandson again until his hair grows out because he looks terrible. And he does. Just breaks my heart.

So I'm stuck? Am I right or wrong? I feel like shaving his head and hers tonight when they are sleeping!
 
Is he in public school? Here they cant have a mohawk!! Or colored hair. But I think you are both right and both wrong. You have to let him express himself but Id prob only let that go during the summer time since Im pretty conservative. But your wife def should have discussed with you since you made your feelings clear on it prior.
 
Well, if you and mama cant agree then no one will be happy. If it were my son, I would shave the rest of his head and be done with it. But that is just me.
 
I had very long hair as a kid , my dad told me that if I wanted it I had to keep it clean but other than that it was my choice. I also was living in an area where everyone had longer hair (hawaii) and I was 10trying to fit in . At 5 its the parents decision and I don't find it cool . When he gets older he should have some say so in his appearance . I feel your wife was wrong knowing that you were against this and didn't say anything to you . You are supposed to be partners . She can say "he wanted it that way " But does that mean you give him everything he wants ? I also feel his grandparents are out of line not wanting to see him like that . If you let a kid dress himself he will probly dress funny, you let him decide what kind of haircut he gets it could be green, but he's 5 . its not his fault he wanted his hair cut like that but it is your wifes fault that its like that !
 
Yes laylasmom public school.
He chooses his own clothes. I swear he's a girl in a boys body because he is perfect in his choices and always wants to look good. Just no sense arguing with him over red when he wants to wear blue. I'll pick and choose my battles. But yes apparently the wife did it to spite me and show that she can which is an extreme prob with me. She showed zero concern for my concerns and that's what pisses me off. He likes to put gel in his hair and style it up or kinda spiky and I haven't really said much but now we are going the wrong way. Again I think your look influences your behavior? Especially when kids are concerned. I'm still so pissed I could spit bullets!

Now if I say 'ok fine since you did whatever you wanted I'll do the same!' it wouldn't work.
That would only serve to make things worse. I can't toss her in the lake? I can't put the hair back on his head?
I'm just bummed.
 
well she did it to spite you huh? Well then spite her back !! Did she say you couldn't have TWO busa's??? :)
 
Frsibee my parents are like me , traditional. Good upbringing and well oriented.
They are constantly....how should I say...?.....amazed at things my wife and the Spanish culture think are ok.

Anyone who's ever heard Cubans speak knows there is no way you could say the same things in English and get away with it. The conversation is very loose and there are no bounds on what they will talk about or say in front of younger ears.
I am constantly at battle with what I think is right for kids and what they think is right.


My father lives 7000 miles away and looks forward to seeing his only grandson clean and nice, they way he should be.
Instead he appears on the screen to my dad like a 'wet rat' just as dad said. It broke his heart.
 
Oh dude.....know juz where your at with this stuff!

Hope ya don't mind me saying....but it sounds to me like Mrs Blanca is playin' the power/control game with ya!?!

Best ya juz shave her head while she sleeps, and give her a matching mohawk....so her and the young fella's look will 'compliment' each other!!

But after that....best ye be sleepin' with one eye open for the next few months (...or maybe years!?!) lol

OR, better still >>>>

Go out and get BOTH ur nipples pierced, and insert a sleeper in each, and run a heavy chain from one to the other! In the middle of that chain....run ANOTHER heavy chain that hangs directly all the way down ur torso, and tucks into the front of ur undies!

Then.....whenEVER ur BOTH out in public, down the beach, shopping, or have HER friends & family over for bbq's or drinks.....make sure ur top is off and ur new "look" is on FULL display!!!!

got some other suggestions too......but best ya seek legal advice before we go any further!!! lol
 
Sounds to me there are bigger issues than hair going on here.

Via Tapatalk
 
frisbee said:
well she did it to spite you huh? Well then spite her back !! Did she say you couldn't have TWO busa's??? :)
Click to expand...

She is very immature in her actions and if I spite her back it will only spur on more stupidity and aggravation from her to me. I'm in a no win situation and that's what pisses me off so bad.

LaylasMom I could slick it back if he'd let me but since he got the cut he wants to gel it up to accentuate it more. Is it a straight up Mohawk with a huge rift going down the middle and bald on the side? No. But it is noticeable and doesn't look right at all to me. It's thicker and taller in the middle kinda like a ridgeback dog.

Flip.....I need a ride! Can't do that either on acct of a pinched nerve in my neck. It's prevented me from even sitting on the bike for almost two months. I ride for maybe ten minutes and then the pain is intense for hours.
 
Both my boys have their hair cut short. #1 guard on the sides (no guard in the summer months) #2 guard on the top. As long as they live in my house that's the way it will be. Neat, clean and presentable. I don't care what they or anyone else says, don't care what the other kids their age (7 and 11) are doing, or what the "cool style" is. Once they are off on their own carrying their own weight they can do as they please. I've told them both (and their older sister) that if they don't like or agree with my rules, they may pay the mortgage for 6 months straight and we will discuss changing them.
IMO, mohawks look ridiculous on adults, and are a piss-poor reflection of the parents on kids. Parenting is not about giving kids what they want, it's about teaching them to be good, responsible, productive members of society.
 
Well I am a bit old school myself. My daugther's mother cut her hair, waxed her eye brows and bought her heal boots for school. She is 8 years old. When she is all grown up, she can do whatever she pleases. But at 8 years old, hell no. When it comes down to moral family values, I am huge on it. My word is the final word period. For the most part when I was with my kids mother she did whatever she wanted. BUT when I said no, there was no changing my mind. She has also used that line on me also, "it's her children , she carried them in her belly and she's gonn do what she wants". That right their made my eye twitch every time. Hence we are divorced now because I was about to live like that for the rest of my life. Your wife sounds like my ex. I think you are right in your reasons, but remember it's your marriage you are talking about. So know what you are doing before you do it.
 
I would act non chalant as if it's done and over, you've stated your case so let it be, no use in getting into a fight over a hair cut, you win some you lose some.
 
BusaBret said:
Sounds to me there are bigger issues than hair going on here.

Via Tapatalk
Click to expand...

Not really? But maybe? She's always been the one to 'let' me pay the bills without question haha.
She's always asked me what I thought was the best thing to do in situations. She always said 'ok fine if that's what you want'. But now it seems we've both drawn lines in the sand and nether wants to back down. I've got a good mind to give her her car, ins and cell bills and tell her to take care of them!
 
My thoughts exactly. A Mohawk on a five year old and now I can only imagine what the teacher he's already been giving grief to thinks about his parents now? The teacher must be like 'these people just don't care?'
He's acting up. He's telling the teacher no! He's not listening. He's not paying attn. I talk to him all the time about how he has to be a good boy and represent the family. He is my son and how he acts is a reflection of me. I like purple (good color) not red (bad color) on his daily report.

Mr Brown said:
Both my boys have their hair cut short. #1 guard on the sides (no guard in the summer months) #2 guard on the top. As long as they live in my house that's the way it will be. Neat, clean and presentable. I don't care what they or anyone else says, don't care what the other kids their age (7 and 11) are doing, or what the "cool style" is. Once they are off on their own carrying their own weight they can do as they please. I've told them both (and their older sister) that if they don't like or agree with my rules, they may pay the mortgage for 6 months straight and we will discuss changing them.
IMO, mohawks look ridiculous on adults, and are a piss-poor reflection of the parents on kids. Parenting is not about giving kids what they want, it's about teaching them to be good, responsible, productive members of society.
Click to expand...
 
Mr Brown has informed me thru phone convo that I made my Cuban bed and now must lie in it :(

His words were 'good luck with that' :(

Thanks Jeremy. I needed the sobering depressing dose of reality.
So I guess I'll go home with my tail tucked :(
 
here's my cent
if you said your kid would never have one (at the game) then she should have SURE talked to you about. it should have been mentioned either way but more after you said that. As far a the "traditional" thing you say, Dude I will tell you and you take it to the Bank a century ago, when it comes to character there's nothing like "traditional" old school, old fashion and you name. In today's kids very VERY seldom is pushing the envelope to see just how good one can be, to see how respectful they can be, to their parents, their teachers and their class mates. Every time when someone pushes the envelope it's to be daring, to go where my parents didn't, to do what my parents didn't, and that most often is not a good thing. I agree to a point that a kid has to make his her individuality, but at 5 years old they need instructions and guidance, by example foremost.
Anyways... my 2 cents, ....or one
 
Man, I feel for you on this one. Just to be clear here....its not about the hair.

I agree with you, I'm not for things like crazy hair cuts on children. But your issue is not about hair here. Good luck Blanca.

Sent from my HTC Evo using Tapatalk
 
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