So I'll leave it up to y'all. AmI right or wrong?

[nyrican]

Sorry for my blunt opinion but, just like you, I'm old school. It may sound a bit "machista" but a family can only have one boss. I discuss and come to decisions with my wife in almost all aspects of our 14 years and still going string marriage. Your situation definitely sounds like theirs a slight struggle for power. I understand the cultural differences, I'm Puertorican and my wife's Filipino. We've had it out plenty of times over "small" stuff but as a man I cannot allow myself to ever feel disrespected, over ruled, or ignored in my relationship. Sorry but that ain't happening. When I am no longer in charge, I will no longer be there.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

Ok so here's the plan.

I'm going home. I'm gonna shave the kid bald, then I'm gonna toss the wife in the lake with the gators and then I'm hopping on Blanca and running from the sheriffs who will be on the way. Look for me on the news I'll be wearing my Hayabusa.org shirt

 

[RussellJ]

Ok so here's the plan.

I'm going home. I'm gonna shave the kid bald, then I'm gonna toss the wife in the lake with the gators and then I'm hopping on Blanca and running from the sheriffs who will be on the way. Look for me on the news I'll be wearing my Hayabusa.org shirt

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me

 

[Rainbow7]

Blanca, you are in the right here.

I saw my own mother pull the same bullcrap stunt with one of my brothers (her favourite), when she let him have his hair in braids. (He's White...kid looked like a young Kenny Powers)
He looked like an absolute jackass and was only doing it to be rebellious but she still let him do it, even though it was against the school rules. She continued to indulge him (in other things) and, unsurprisingly, he ended up getting expelled from his school because his behaviour got worse and worse.

IMO, you should be angry with your wife, not with your son. (Not that I'm saying you are angry, just that if you're going to be annoyed with anyone, that's who it ought to be.) The way I look at it, if the parents disagree on an issue then the parent whose viewpoint means the least change/disruption/contention should get their way.

 

[chrisjp]

ahhh saiid....not good. ive been there n done that... But not at 5yrs old. You want to know what offends me the most in all you are describeing...your parents...my grandparents "judged me" and didnt let me be me. i was to be seen not heard. serious at all times. Never speak unless spoken too..ect ect.... i had no respect for them even now they both passed...i still speak of them and how thier "unnaccepting" actions hurt me and created insecurity in me...want my opinion..keep the mohawk but rule of school n actions are to be appropriate. No acting out...its a phase he will forget it the next cartoon he sees. ... as for the dragon...better search whats really bothering her.

 

[semi]

if it means that much to you, shave his head and tell her to get out if she doesn't like it...if it doesn't mean that much, sounds like you got your "manly" feelings hurt because you aren't the "boss" and are now pouting...need to figure out how much it means and then take actions accordingly...just my $.02

 

[aussiesuzukirider]

Time for an around the table old fashion chit chat to sort this one Blanca I'm sure you have sat down and discussed the ramifications this has caused you with your parents and the possible damage this will cause young Adam at school, not a great position to be in but I feel if you sincerely express you concerns to her she should at least respect how you feel, good luck with it and I am sure you will sort it out peacefully.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

You are justified in your feelings. I would be pizzed too.

 

[Blanca BusaLess]

if it means that much to you, shave his head and tell her to get out if she doesn't like it...if it doesn't mean that much, sounds like you got your "manly" feelings hurt because you aren't the "boss" and are now pouting...need to figure out how much it means and then take actions accordingly...just my $.02

I'm that transparent huh?

I AM THE KING OF THIS........oh hi honey rub your feet? Sure my buttercup.


It was hard to come pissed and be pissed when Adam jumped out and said with a big happy smile 'dad look at my cool haircut!'
I can't yell at him? Wanted to bat the wife a few times but too scared to try it

 

[BusaBret]

Sounds like you need to hitch up your panties and bask in the subordinate position you have been given.

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[GsxrBots]

Hair grows back Blanca. Don't go into it guns blazing over this one. "Faux-hawks" are the in thing right now, even up here, all the boys want them..

I was the first one to take the razor to my nephew. Its only hair. Let them think they are cool when they are younger, they'll realize soon enough that they should have done more fun stuff as a kid since we all grow up so fast..

I would be more concerned with your parents not wanting to talk to their grandson simply based on his hair. God forbid he gets a tattoo at 18...

Now for the wifey... I will agree that it was crap that she didn't talk to you first, but again, its only hair, it'll grow back..

 

[busa186]

Sounds to me there are bigger issues than hair going on here.

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+1

Got to be you and the wife against the world. If my dad said my kid looked like a wet rat. My dad wouldnt see my kid until apologized.

With that being said...
I understand were your coming from. My daughter wants to wear make up and that's a no go for me. I got a wife and an ex wife to deal with and I'm slowly loosing that battle. However, if I sat down and told my wife how I feel about make up and young girls, I know she would respect my feelings and WE would decide. I also respect my daughter and her feelings and realize a little mascara is not going to make her trashy.


Gotta get right with the wife.

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk

 

[Rainbow7]

You want to know what offends me the most in all you are describeing...your parents...my grandparents "judged me" and didnt let me be me. i was to be seen not heard. serious at all times. Never speak unless spoken too..ect ect.... i had no respect for them even now they both passed...i still speak of them and how thier "unnaccepting" actions hurt me and created insecurity in me...

Let me see if I understand you correctly: you were hurt/offended by your parents/grandparents' actions...yet you don't seem to recognise that your actions may have hurt/offended them?

EDIT: On reflection, it sounds like what you are describing is nothing at all like what Blanca is discussing, in which case it has no relevance. - My grandparents were very strict and I hated staying with them...but that's not the same issue as a kid getting a ridiculous haircut and the grandparents being unhappy about it.

 

[Tm@nFL]

If the mohawk bothers you shave his head to even it out, be sure to have your son want it to be done. Be ready for the fight from the wife. You know it will be coming. When your wife throws a fit tell her that he wanted it that way. She did it to spite you because you said you did like mohawks, that is what is so messed up about it. It is really disrespectful of your views.

A marriage and it is messy, nothing is ever black and white just bunches of shades of grey. Men are not always right because they are old school and stuff like that, but you really have to respect each other views and compromise on things. That said women should not just be able to do everything they want.

That old shcool stuff does not work well with most women. I call my wife "woman" joking around all the time saying that is how my grandfathers addressed their wives and I am old school. I pull it out when I want to be outragous. She is so used to it now she just rolls her eyes! :-)

Good luck with it all and I hope it works out.

 

[VIPER]

blanca here my opinion for what it is worth. I think you have a couple issues going on....first is the wifes lack of respect for you which is very common were she comes from. the women of that culture think their sh1t dont stink. Second is your parents lack of respect for thier grandchild. Your dads response to the hair cut wet rat funny in itself was complicted badly by his hanging up. I hope to god your son didnt see this all go down. If so shame on your dad. Thats dead wrong. As for the hair do in its self i dont think it is all that bad it is in style. The issue like you said is the wife not respecting you enough to chat with you about it. In my opinion thats bs. If my wife ever did something like that there would be hell to pay. Now if we chatted about it and came to an agreement that would be different. It doesnt have to be your way or the highway but should be we decided not I!! Im not one for getting even but i would make sure i set her down and chatted with her about it and let her know how much it bothered you. If she doesnt care then i would be looking for serious problems in other areas mainly promiscuity.

 

[ruder]

Marry the wrong woman and you are in hell for the rest of your life. When mine started the disrepectful nonsense and the silly emotional games, I packed my bags and left, and divorced her. I am a much happier person for it.

 

[GNBRETT]

o hell no. his head would be shaved. period! but thats just me. since when do 5 year olds get to dictate anything? that was done by her to get a rise out you. pick ur battles tho. it will grow back within a couple weeks.

 

[Amode]

Dude
you are wrong, Let him be who he is, Its a fad do not fight him or your wife, You will lose. Its kool to watch them go thru there stages i have been thru it. Do not fight it. Support your kid loosen up and enjoy. They will change, And you should to.

Chuck

 

[jphilipson]

Only you can decide if this is worth the fight. Plus if she's Cuban, she'll prolly kick your a$$ and win anyway

 

[BusaBret]

Dude
you are wrong, Let him be who he is, Its a fad do not fight him or your wife, You will lose. Its kool to watch them go thru there stages i have been thru it. Do not fight it. Support your kid loosen up and enjoy. They will change, And you should to.

Chuck

I agree to a point. As the father of a 21 year old son I have seen the fads and stages come and go. Some were cute and some scary. Most just faded away as soon as the attention it caused faded.

I agree that he does not need to fight his wife. At the same time she shouldn't fight him. They need to be a cohesive unit in raising their son. Sure they will disagree at times how that should be done but neither should do anything in spite of the other! This should be settled between them and soon. That can and will undermine one of the parents in the child's eyes. That is a hard thing to correct.

The grand parents actions were childish at best and an apology is needed there.

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