I have been called an A-Hole on more than one occasion. When my son was twelve he asked if he could get a mohawk? I told him if he did I would cut it off.
The ex-wife laughed.
I understand your concerns. The ex-wife would tell me that she crapped the kids out, and she could tell them what to do, and she had the final word. I would just look at her. One day I get home from work and the ex is going off on the son. She is hollerin` and`a cussin`. I listen and go take a shower and come out of the bedroom and the ex is still at it. I had enough. I told her to try and be quiet. She had told the boy to do something and he ignored her. I TOLD her to SHUT UP!! I had heard enough. About then I hear the boys room door slam. I go into his room and get into his face. Boy, that is your MOTHER, you will not disrespect her in MY house, in presence, or as long as I am alive. My house, my rules, DO YOU GET ME? He said yes. I told him if this ever came about again, my foot would need to be removed from his ass by a Dr. I told him to go and do what needs to be done. I sat down and he went to his mommy and said I am sorry. The ex would holler and scream at the kids. I did not. I did not need to. My kids and the ex know that what I say, I mean.
My point is, the difference in the two of us is that she would threaten and holler, and not follow through on her threats. I do follow through. When I said I would cut that hair-do off, he knew I would.
I feel for you. Parents not on the same page is a *****.
If my kid were acting up in school, he would not be playing sports, TV, friends coming over, Playstation/X-box, NOT ANY of that crap. I would take it all away from him/her. Get the grades, play sports, or go outside and play.
I was on the kids to do good in school. I started on them when they were very young. It guess worked for me. Daughter graduated Sr. Class Pres, Son graduated Sr. Class V.P. She is going to school to be a Chemical Engineer, son wants to be either an Electrical Engineer, or a Mechanical Engineer. Call me an A-hole, it has been done before.