What an emotional ride (past 24hrs)

[masterblaster]

Great thread, seems to be similar challenges faced by a lot of people, sad to see it and feel bad for ya but you can see by other posts here, child rearing is bewildering, you aint alone.

 

[Gpmo]

LC thanks for posting this up. As a Son of a "step" father this has made me think about growing up an my relationship with my folks. I feel like maybe I should take a bit more time to honor the commitment and sacrifice my folks made to raise me.

 

[lil charlie]

LC thanks for posting this up. As a Son of a "step" father this has made me think about growing up an my relationship with my folks. I feel like maybe I should take a bit more time to honor the commitment and sacrifice my folks made to raise me.

You should... raising kids is hard work...even harder for a step parent who's really trying to make sure the kids are raised just as if they were their own.

 

[2Wheels2Live]

This is going to be kind of long so just warning you now.

First off my Aunt Carol got pretty much the worst news you could get….That her cancer is a very rare and very aggressive type that will continue to pop up in different places until it takes her life. Then all hell breaks loose at my place early this morning. I caught my 13 year old daughter sneaking back into the house at 3:00am…more on this incident in a moment…1st some background on her.

She’s my step daughter and she has never really liked me much because I don’t put up with crap and don’t let them (her or her 10 year old brother) get away with stuff…which causes a lot of drama in our house. My wife thinks I’m too hard on them and I think she allows them WAY too much freedoms; she’s too busy trying to be a friend and not the mom. If I tell my daughter to clean her bathroom while we’re at the store I expect it to be clean when we get back…not find her on her phone and the bathroom a wreck. If I say anything to her, I’m mean and my wife says I’m “ridiculous†when I take her phone for not doing what she’s told. Of course they don’t listen to me when mom always backs them up. I tell them to do something and they go ask mom if they really have too. My wife and I fight a lot over this and I get told to leave her alone and let her raise her kids, not everything is my way. I also admit that I tend to be a tad controlling and like things my way. I let a lot of stuff slide because Caitlin ALWAYS gets very good grades and has never been caught doing anything super bad.

Caitlin just got her phone back last Saturday…I took it from her for a week because she came home late and when I went through her messages I didn’t like the “dirty†things she was saying to the boy down the street. Her mom and I told her she was no longer allowed to go to his house now that we know they are dating, no more trips to the movies without an adult, and he was only allowed to see her at our house after school where my wife and I can keep an eye on them. I guess my wife agreed to those terms but didn’t really like them and she says I’m being too strict and she told me to give my daughter her phone back and she was taking her and that boy and dropping them off at the movies to see Avengers. I flipped out and asked her why she was letting her go with him and I got them “it’s my kid speechâ€â€¦.she’s a good girl who knows better…blah blah blah…I raised her right and she’s smarter than that. So I gave her the phone back and told my wife she was making a mistake letting her have too many freedoms at 13 years old. I just let it go and decided to pick my battles. I found my battle this morning at 3:00am when Caitlin was caught sneaking back in through the doggie door; she was outside with that boy from down the street!

Man Charlie thats a mess. Between you being a little controlling, and your wife claiming the kids as hers and you stay out of it, which is dividing the family in half, you have a lot of misery to look forward to. I would get family counseling before everbody really starts hating each other and its too late. Or just move on. Lifes too short to live it like that
Unfortunately the step parent thing rarely works out well.

 

[crusty369]

I call BS......been down this road, as well. I don't think you are being too strict. Sounds like your wife wants to let u be the heavy, then come in like she is saving the day to the kids. BS. You're wife needs to come on board. Make here understand that there is a HUGE difference between being their parent, or being their buddy.....
Give me being respected over being liked by my kids any day of the week.
It's a parents job to get them responsible and self sufficient. Pretty much an possible task to accomplish by being their "buddy".
Can't make wine without crushing some grapes......
You aren't going to make any headway until you and your wife get on the same play book.

Good luck.

 

[Tm@nFL]

Glad to her you and your wife had good communication with your step daughter.
Hold on tight this is just the start of it. You have years left of the battle!
Good luck and I really hope things turn out good for you.

 

[TallTom]

Dear God,

Thank you for not talking me out of my vasectomy!!!!!

 

[lil charlie]

Dear God,

Thank you for not talking me out of my vasectomy!!!!!

That’s pretty funny dude……….

All the pain and misery that come with raising children is worth every second of it……… for the love that you have when you hold your child for the very 1st time.