lunch or drink w/ married EX...

[WWJD]

EX emailing me she would like to do "lunch or drinks" sometime to catch up.
I have not seen/talked/emailed anything with her in about a decade.
She has been married about that long.
Her husband will not be there. I've never met him and we don't really know each other.
Her pre-marriage history is not the faithful type.

Is this socially acceptable or wrong on so many levels? ?

I am quite certain I will go ahead and set something up, because I am a nice guy, a good sounding board and PROMISED her I would ALWAYS !ALWAYS! be a distant, close friend.

BUT, I feel these situations are very wrong on so many levels. Generally, it is the tip of an iceberg for ruined lives, divorces, adultry, and the list goes on and on and on. Now, I KNOW myself completely and would never "fall" into those situations, ever.

What I wonder is how the married people here would take it?

Would you mind your spouse reconnecting with an old lover WITHOUT you being there? What if they didn't TELL you about it? Don't get too deep, just reply with your initial feeling as it is probably the truest.

 

[twotonevert]

I wouldnt do it. But I dont have very good relationships with my ex's. Maybe with my first wife, but she is good friends with my wife Juli. Good luck.

 

[BlondeOnaBusa]

I think as long as her husband knows about it and he's good with it then have lunch/drink with her.

 

[proud dad]

I think as long as her husband knows about it and he's good with it then have lunch/drink with her.

my thoughts exactly

 

[PDBusa]

If husband knows, less liklihood of trouble. Lunch will give you a definate time constraint. A lot can change in 10 years, you may not be able to handle talking to her for more than a lunch break!

 

[Mr Bogus]

not a chance......

 

[thrasherfox]

Run fast, run hard, run the other direction.

There isnt anything needed to catch up on. She is your ex, she is your ex for a reason.

She is married.

And I guess the simplest way to put it, would you want your wife meeting up with her ex over drinks just to "catch up"

Change your phone number and address and dont look back




Well you asked for my opinion

 

[TXBusa05LE]

Good luck...

 

[pbghost]

all depends what you feel deep down... if you think that either one of you wants or hopes that more than lunch will evolve, then stay away! if not, then by all means go. no harm. I've had lunch and helped out exes, I would clear it with my wife first, after all, she is the most important of em all (besides the kids, of course) good luck

 

[Mr Bogus]

I can see a few reasons to "hook up" over lunch.. if no kids are involved, then none of them are good if either is married...

 

[solarbarack]

I can see a few reasons to "hook up" over lunch.. if no kids are involved, then none of them are good if either is married...

+1
The last time me and the ex hooked up it led to things I can't speak of.

 

[dinoap]

On the outside it is just lunch.........Could end up as a life altering meal, and I don't mean in the good ways. Just say no, nothing good will come of this.

 

[twotonevert]

On the outside it is just lunch.........Could end up as a life altering meal, and I don't mean in the good ways.    Just say no, nothing good will come of this.

Very True!

 

[djorgensen3]

Put yourself in her husbands shoes. Hypothetically would you let your wife(if you have one)? Are you/he the jealous type? Ask her on the phone what she is after. Just be honest with her and tell her what your thoughts on the subject are.

 

[edubb1971]

Put yourself in her husbands shoes.  Hypothetically would you let your wife(if you have one)?  Are you/he the jealous type?  Ask her on the phone what she is after.  Just be honest with her and tell her what your thoughts on the subject are.

+1

 

[WWJD]

...and if lunch is at the EASY STREET INN with hourly rates, is that ok?

just kidding. Seriously, *I* know where things are for me, and her life has never run smoothly so I assume she's still all over the board.

I kinda thought the response would be nearly 50-50. It would be hard for me to step away after promising to be there no matter what - I'll skip the whole back story, but she is used to people screwing her over, and I was able to somewhat "repair" some of that with my integrity. It would be like all I ever was, was a lie. You know? Thru other mutual friends, I'm aware she's lost a lot of family in the past few years, and I think she is just reconnecting with old friends... you know how death can make you realize the importance of certain other things in life

I'm not trying to justify my actions, I sort of already made my decision as stated above. VERY EXCELLENT FEEDBACK though, guys! Much appreciated. I am on excellent friendly terms with all 4 of my married EX's and normally we chat emails every year or so, but this one is different: still close, but very distant due to issues in her life. Sounds like the married sector is against this sort of thing and I am very glad to hear that. There will be no hanky panky at all guarenteed trust me on that

I should add, being single, sometimes I don't have a good perspective of married's life. So, thanks again for the feedback

 

[mzrsq]

4 married EX's

Oh I'm hoping thats girlfriends and not wives.

Depending on the split, I'd figure she owes me one.................But thats just me.

 

[WWJD]

yes Girl Friends, not wives! ha I should have specified that.
old girlfriends that are NOW happily married

 

[05 Busa LE]

Improper. Stay as far away as you can.

 

[Revlis]

Sometimes Bro... Lunch is just lunch. Means old friends with lots of history get together and have food, some conversation.