Threatening my Son

[bigmac0331]

+1 on matrial arts...my best friend and I used to get picked on alot...we actually took up Shotokan Karate...I stopped after 6 yrs but he kept on training. By the time we were in Highschool nobody...I mean nobody would mess with him....Not even the biggest football players. He was a scronny kid...but when we were in Highschool...he was a solid muscle man. I am a pretty big boy myself but he was solid muscle. Very smart on the recorder...Maybe you and his father need to go out back and throw down....

 

[Supergank1]

martial arts will help !! we are talking about 10-11 year olds not some grown ups in a bar fight?? the self confidence and respect he will gain is what will keep him from having to fight all the time keeping him out of trouble... " we train so we don`t have to fight"

 

[suzuki4life]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

 

[Supergank1]

First off martial arts is not the answer for anything but to help your child gain self confidence and respect. If he came to you with his problems he has both. Not everyone is desinied to be the next Brucce Leeand I have seen plenty of highly trained men get their butts handed to them in bar room brawls so never think training guarantees victory.

Second, children should NOT be fighting or bullied on a daily basis. Supporting your child to fight in this day and age as an answer to such a problem will get you and him in big trouble. You have done great so far. You have documented the situation and had a meeting with the other guardian to make resolution. The next step is as follows. Take a day to meet your child at school or stay with him whereever he is having these confrontation issues with this child. If possible, talk to this boy and tell him it IS over or you will have the police involved. Once they are involved his dad will have more headaches which no one actually needs. Make no threats, tell him that if he has a problem he needs to talk about, you will help him or help him find someone to talk about it (never doubt the kid is lashing out from abuse within his own home). This is a child, never forget that.

If the situation continues, contact the police. Explain the situation and state, "I want to file a civil complaint." Say it exactly in that manner and insist the officer comes to YOUR door. You do not want to be in a police department ranting about how your kid is getting bullied. You want the cop on your home turf where you feel comfortable and can explain rationally what is going on. If you state, " I want to file a civil complaint", the officer CAN NOT refuse to file a report and/or appropriate citations.

Once the cop contacts the other parent, 99.999% of the time the situation will end.

i`m not disagreeing with what you are saying in a perfect world but this ain`t a perfect world and kids have to be tough. don`t know if you grew up in the city like i did(Brooklyn) but there is a code. if you were to walk with your kid to the bus or where ever he is having these conflicts it would probably make it worse the next time your not around. little punks like these don`t understand what a civil complaint is??? and it`s sound like the father isn`t doing his job either, probably too busy in court making a buch of money??

 

[razorshark]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

+1

Good advise.

 

[nitrousjunkie]

IMO these problems are usually best worked out by the kids,when the parents get involved,things usually get carried way too far and who REALLY knows what happened? There are always 3 sides to the story,your kids',his kids' and the TRUTH.I dont promote fighting unless youre backed in a corner,then defend yourself.

 

[Projekt]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

+1

Good advise.

It is unfortunate that in this day and age things are so. I was waiting for someone to pose this scenario...

Teaching your son some skills will help him in any case due to his confidence. It doesn't ever have to reach a point of maiming the bully, simply making him understand that your boy isn't an easy mark.

 

[suzuki4life]

Yep I grew up with many uncles and cousins and beating the crap out of each other to later venture into cities like NYC, balitmore etc on a daily basis. Parent's can teach you when to fight and when not to. If the kid was capable of winning, he probably already would. Once again, this ain't the days of my youth with fighting and being punished with your father's belt. Even if this kid "wins" doesn't mean the outcome will be in his favor. Hell, why teach him anything? I hear the tazer is becoming the popular defense tool by police.

And yes....I had a similar experience with my boy earlier this year. It was funny, when I finally got through the school system and found out who his dad was, I knew the guy. Boys WILL be boys and some bickering still goes on to this day. But they have a respect knowing that if I call his father he will respect my word enough to shine his boy's butt for him.

The father here will create problems for you since he will not acknolwedge a problem. I have three kids...I deal with similar problems yearly with different kids and parents. Most are willing to talk it out if you come off as trying to find a resolution and not blame them. This guy seems the latter so the "normal" tactics won't work.

 

[Supergank1]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

first off i don`t care if your a lawyer or whatever i`m not beneath anyone, second you have taperecorded and documented with the police this issue before. i never said fighting was the answer but you have to stand up for yourself or you`ll be in for a life of being bullied. i`m not saying it`s right but thats the way it is. they don`t really do anything to kids that get in a fight, you might get a 3 day suspension and a police visit but thats a small price to pay to get rid of the problem. come over to the real world dude!!!

 

[razorshark]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

first off i don`t care if your a lawyer or whatever i`m not beneath anyone, second you have taperecorded and documented with the police this issue before. i never said fighting was the answer but you have to stand up for yourself or you`ll be in for a life of being bullied. i`m not saying it`s right but thats the way it is. they don`t really do anything to kids that get in a fight, you might get a 3 day suspension and a police visit but thats a small price to pay to get rid of the problem. come over to the real world dude!!!

come down kids...all this is being recorded and will be sent to the proper authorities if any pissing match starts.

This thread is about Snap's kid, not your individual beliefs on the best way to parent children. Snap, best of luck, let us know how it turns out brother...

 

[suzuki4life]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

first off i don`t care if your a lawyer or whatever i`m not beneath anyone, second you have taperecorded and documented with the police this issue before. i never said fighting was the answer but you have to stand up for yourself or you`ll be in for a life of being bullied. i`m not saying it`s right but thats the way it is. they don`t really do anything to kids that get in a fight, you might get a 3 day suspension and a police visit but thats a small price to pay to get rid of the problem. come over to the real world dude!!!

now you are documenting it with the police?

it would be solved at that point I bet anyway.

I live in the real world everyday...you aren't that far away, let's go walk Baltimore or DC at night. I did it for years, alone and in the dark without issue. I think I can handle myself pretty well.

Kids only get suspsensions in school....this sounds like its not in school.

A police visit, a fine, and visit from children and youth which will lead to 6 months on their watch list and constant interviews and b/s I bet you could live without.

 

[suzuki4life]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

first off i don`t care if your a lawyer or whatever i`m not beneath anyone, second you have taperecorded and documented with the police this issue before. i never said fighting was the answer but you have to stand up for yourself or you`ll be in for a life of being bullied. i`m not saying it`s right but thats the way it is. they don`t really do anything to kids that get in a fight, you might get a 3 day suspension and a police visit but thats a small price to pay to get rid of the problem. come over to the real world dude!!!

come down kids...all this is being recorded and will be sent to the proper authorities if any pissing match starts.

This thread is about Snap's kid, not your individual beliefs on the best way to parent children.  Snap, best of luck, let us know how it turns out brother...

recording it with the authorites after the fact will not hold any water. The situation at hand will determine the fate.

 

[Supergank1]

i mean really , how much damage can a couple of 10-12 year olds do to each other??? hardly enough to file a civil action. it would be nice if the parents could all get together and work these things out but in my experience(and i have 3 kids)you got about a 50/50 shot of the parents doing the right thing. i`m still not saying i disagree with you on doing the right thing but i just never seems to work out that way for me??? anyway i guess we agree to disagree..have a good holiday

 

[ibified]

TO whoever asked earlier: the one fight i got in was because someone pulled a knife on me while my at the time gf was there.  Walking away ceased to be an option, so i kicked the guy on the side of his knee, heard it snap, heard him scream, watched him go down, and walked away.  Then I called the police.

It really isnt always about whipping someones ass, or even about whipping someone's ass once in a while. To me, it's being able to walk away without a stab wound.

Bottom line on that situation is this: that guy is going to know when its going to rain for the rest of his life, and I'm partially responsible for that. yes, the argument can be made of "welll, you were defending yourself" etc, but im still the one who chose THAT spot as a point of attack. Taking someone down, in my opinion, is NEVER something to be proud of. It means you failed in mediating the situation.

 

[Revolution]

i agree with martial ARTS as a last defense but if you're backed into a corner and you got it...
reading a book on Bruce Lee, and he put it best:
"if you found out your friend got beat up how would you fight? now lest say someone broke into your parents house and beat your mom, how would you fight?"

i was just at the movies saturday night and two couples were sitting behind us, i could hear the two men "talking" about something, a small "disagreement. when the movie was done i could tell one guy was the smart azz and the other was trained, the trained guy was calm and was talking to theother guy trying to get him to not get his azz beat.

in martial arts if you have to fight it'll probably be over in a few seconds. strikes break bones.

again this is all if backed into a corner.

 

[Poppy]

Notify the police AND the school.  The school is responsible for the child's safety while on the bus and at school.  If these kids can't get to you son in the neighborhood, they will come after him at school or on the bus.  Best to let the authorities at the school know so they can help you keep your son safe.

I am very impressed by how you handled the situation so far, recording device was a great idea as was your patience and calm but firm demeanor with the other father.  I do not think I would have been able to stay so composed.

Follow through with the report to the police, and I would be interested to hear what comes of your situation.

Happy Holidays!

Yes, what he said! And the other post re: martial arts.....

 

[SnapAttack]

My wife and I want to thank you for your advice and support. Truth is I was a bully in school. I didn't win them all but never cared. I liked to throw. My dad use to drink a lot. Teaching/encouraging us to fight made him feel like a man but often left us bleeding and bruised. I'll just leave it at that. Perhaps I have been too laid back with him and this is my eye opener. It's been difficult encouraging him to stand his ground and face his issues. In today's society you must take every threat serious no matter the age of the child. I filed an incident report today with LEO. I appreciate all the support and feedback. We have decided to enroll him in martial arts after the New Year. He is also getting a dirt bike tomorrow to help fill the weekends.

Merry Christmas everyone.

 

[Mike.P175]

My wife and I want to thank you for your advice and support. Truth is I was a bully in school. I didn't win them all but never cared. I liked to throw. My dad use to drink a lot. Teaching/encouraging us to fight made him feel like a man but often left us bleeding and bruised. I'll just leave it at that. Perhaps I have been too laid back with him and this is my eye opener. It's been difficult encouraging him to stand his ground and face his issues. In today's society you must take every threat serious no matter the age of the child. I filed an incident report today with LEO. I appreciate all the support and feedback. We have decided to enroll him in martial arts after the New Year. He is also getting a dirt bike tomorrow to help fill the weekends.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Glad to hear you have worked out a plan
and hope everything works out for the best

 

[Supergank1]

okay, I will turn this around.

Your kid takes karate and mine is the bully. You have already gotten mouthy with me about your kid getting smacked around and now the tables turn. I'm a lawyer and you are beneath me so I feel a bit inclined to make trouble when the tables turn and I know how to do it. So your karate kid is victorious and I call the cops on you. On top of that I can call children and youth services and have them at your doorstep stating that you have directed your child to fight and now given him the ability to carry your orders forward. Your child is now the menace and mine walks away smelling like a rose. This isn't the 50's guys. Fighting will not solve a problem. It aids creating revenue for police, judges and hospitals.

first off i don`t care if your a lawyer or whatever i`m not beneath anyone, second you have taperecorded and documented with the police this issue before. i never said fighting was the answer but you have to stand up for yourself or you`ll be in for a life of being bullied. i`m not saying it`s right but thats the way it is. they don`t really do anything to kids that get in a fight, you might get a 3 day suspension and a police visit but thats a small price to pay to get rid of the problem. come over to the real world dude!!!

now you are documenting it with the police?

it would be solved at that point I bet anyway.

I live in the real world everyday...you aren't that far away, let's go walk Baltimore or DC at night. I did it for years, alone and in the dark without issue. I think I can handle myself pretty well.

Kids only get suspsensions in school....this sounds like its not in school.

A police visit, a fine, and visit from children and youth which will lead to 6 months on their watch list and constant interviews and b/s I bet you could live without.

ha-ha ok dude. cash your paycheck and come on down and i`ll drop you off down on benning rd. or berry farms and we`ll see how you do ?? my kids have been in a few and i`ve never had to pay a fine or talk to children and youth or have to deal with any interviews. i guess people around here just take there lesson learned(azz whippin) and go on with life???

 

[Dan]

Sounds like you got it all covered, Snap. I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Shop around for the right school for him. When we started I called every dojo/dojang/academy in the book until we found one that we were comfortable with that wasn't a belt mill.