As far as not being a “friendâ€, well, I don’t see it, but maybe I’m an ass. I am not a “bar†and do not sell alcohol. I do not have a business license (for refreshments anyway). I am not “open†to the public. I will not assault someone (punch in face) to get their keys from them nor will I kidnap them either (hold against their will).
I am responsible for MYSELF only. I care deeply for people and have devoted my life to helping others. But I will not live someone else’s life for them. I offer recommendations only, if a person chooses not to follow them that is their problem, friend or not.
I encourage “squids†all the time not to do “squid-ish†things on public roads in traffic. I, however, won’t take their keys from them, saying “Now I told you about wheeling in traffic. You could have hurt someone.†Someone could get shot that way.
Same basic principle as the drinking thing. IMHO.
Nope, you're not a bar. You're a friend. I agree, we as individuals are responsible for ourselves. However, if that were the end of it, your friends would never be there for you.. they would just "recommend" other options to you.
My point was and still is:
You could tell your buddy was drinking a lot, you knew what timeframe you were looking at him needing to leave, you knew he wouldn't be allowed to camp on the couch. Yet, you didn't tell him the fridge/booze was off limits and put your foot down. By the way in most states, you can be sued for allowing someone to consume to much. Much the same way that you are not a bar, therefore not required to card the people at your home before serving them. However, if you serve a minor who looks 25 and that minor is pulled over after leaving, you're still in hot water.
The bottom line is either you needed to tell the S.O. that he's staying because he's drunk and that's that, or know when being a friend means having responsibilty when your buddy doesn't (not just for your buddy but for the unknown people he may encounter on the way home from your house after drinking your booze), or realize that the S.O. has a reason said friend is not welcome to spend the night and perhaps he shouldn't be over at your house drinking until all hours of the night in the first place.
Since the squid story only loosely applies here. How about this scenario. You see an old lady being mugged by some guy in parking lot... you're either going to step in and stop the guy or you're going to call the police. Why? Because we as people have an obligation to society in general. We have an obligation to report crime. You didn't call the police and report the crime your friend was committing by DUI nor did you attempt to step in and prevent the crime.
Though I'm sure it wouldn't have taken a punch to the jaw to convince him to stay the night, I'm sure your friend would have prefered even that over his current situation. Instead you hit the boards, after the fact, with "the system is draconian". All that actually happened is the system was successful in taking a DUI off the streets where you failed in preventing it though you had ample opportunity to do so. End of story.
Heath
Just as a side note... my buddy, who I punched, was so drunk he could barely speak, he was beligerant and demanding he was going to drive, we were in the military and only 100-200 feet inside the Mexican border (US side) in a parking lot. Not a good situation for anyone there. However, even as a 20 year old, I knew that losing a friendship was better than losing a friend due to a car accident or jail time and that a jaw heals quicker than a record or anything a car accident has to offer.
