girl friends and "busas don,t mix

[dezzy7]

She said maybe I would spend more time with her if she tattooed a Hayabusa kanji on her ass. Hmmm maybe.

I don't recommend the tatoo then someone else might want to ride

Don't sweat it, one thing I've learned doing marriage and pre-marital counseling if she's really sweating you about the bike there's really only 2 issues to look at

1) You really aren't spending enough time with her, which means she probably doesn't mean as much to you as you would like to believe. (more infatuation than love)

2) She has some personal issues and if you didn't have the bike she would be sweating you about something else ( personal insecurities, abandonment issues, etc)

Now as in most situation you could "mediate" or "compromise". We all love our busas, but we have to keep things in perspectives. I doubt any of us would truely sacrifice or endanger someone we really love or a relationship we really care about for a bike of any kind. But the issue is not getting rid of the bike but limiting the time we ride to accommodate the needs of others. What if it was your child's first play or a family member needed your assistance in an emergency. The general caring nature I've seen reflected on this site by many indicates that we would drop the bike before we had a chance to put the kickstand down to help another in need. So the real question is are you Committed to making the relationship work and do you believe the woman is a worthy investment

Once you answer those questions you'll know be in a better position to determine which of the two, the bike or the woman, you desire most. And how much time each gets based on their priority in YOUR life.

As for how do I handle it personally, I'm fortunate my wife loves riding with me when she wants to and encourages me to ride when she doesn't. WHY because she knows its important to me and she supports me and my habits (well at least the good ones lolol) And I return the support (which means sometimes I have to go see a chick flick). Life is about balance and perspective. Learn to give as well as take, and how to know yourself through your eyes and others through theirs.

Ok I've gone opn too long already.. But usually I have an hour to do these brief theraphy sessions

 

[VaBusa]

And I'm called "Dr. Phil"?!

 

[BulletTrain]

Hey...what can I say?  Women are hard to understand...hell, I'm one and I don't understand myself most of the time!

Didn't mean to go on, but I just thought it might help if you knew that sometimes a girl's best friend can be her worst enemy...women feed on things like "oh, he'll leave you for a biker chick" and then they work on avoiding the potential problem by doing what she did...she didn't mean to lie, I'm sure...she was probably feeling you out for any hint of truth in what her co-worker said, but she should have trusted you when you said "hey, don't want to ride?  that's fine..."

Isn't the female psyche frightening?!!!

Doing my little part to make the world, and your relationship better... ha ha...

Now, about my husband and his Harley obsession?!  

You're dead on, Va... After she admitted that was why she was willing to try to ride, she actually asked if I would leave her for a rider chick... In my mind, that question was SO fugged up that it didn't even deserve an answer.

Sounds like you've got 'er nailed down.

About that Hardley obsession... Ya got me. They don't really do anything for me at all... For me, if it ain't a sport bike it ain't sheeyot! Not for my use anyway. To each his/her own, but no HD for me...

 

[VaBusa]

Hey...what can I say?  Women are hard to understand...hell, I'm one and I don't understand myself most of the time!

Didn't mean to go on, but I just thought it might help if you knew that sometimes a girl's best friend can be her worst enemy...women feed on things like "oh, he'll leave you for a biker chick" and then they work on avoiding the potential problem by doing what she did...she didn't mean to lie, I'm sure...she was probably feeling you out for any hint of truth in what her co-worker said, but she should have trusted you when you said "hey, don't want to ride?  that's fine..."

Isn't the female psyche frightening?!!!

Doing my little part to make the world, and your relationship better... ha ha...

Now, about my husband and his Harley obsession?!  

You're dead on, Va... After she admitted that was why she was willing to try to ride, she actually asked if I would leave her for a rider chick... In my mind, that question was SO fugged up that it didn't even deserve an answer.

Sounds like you've got 'er nailed down.

About that Hardley obsession... Ya got me. They don't really do anything for me at all... For me, if it ain't a sport bike it ain't sheeyot! Not for my use anyway. To each his/her own, but no HD for me...

I'll send you my bill...

 

[BulletTrain]

She said maybe I would spend more time with her if she tattooed a Hayabusa kanji on her ass. Hmmm maybe.

I don't recommend the tatoo then someone else might want to ride  

 

Don't sweat it, one thing I've learned doing marriage and pre-marital counseling if she's really sweating you about the bike there's really only 2 issues to look at

1) You really aren't spending enough time with her, which means she probably doesn't mean as much to you as you would like to believe. (more infatuation than love)

2) She has some personal issues and if you didn't have the bike she would be sweating you about something else ( personal insecurities, abandonment issues, etc)

Now as in most situation you could "mediate" or "compromise". We all love our busas, but we have to keep things in perspectives. I doubt any of us would truely sacrifice or endanger someone we really love or a relationship we really care about for a bike of any kind. But the issue is not getting rid of the bike but limiting the time we ride to accommodate the needs of others. What if it was your child's first play or a family member needed your assistance in an emergency. The general caring nature I've seen reflected on this site by many indicates that we would drop the bike before we had a chance to put the kickstand down to help another in need. So the real question is are you Committed to making the relationship work and do you believe the woman is a worthy investment

Once you answer those questions you'll know be in a better position to determine which of the two, the bike or the woman, you desire most. And how much time each gets based on their priority in YOUR life.

As for how do I handle it personally, I'm fortunate my wife loves riding with me when she wants to and encourages me to ride when she doesn't. WHY because she knows its important to me and she supports me and my habits (well at least the good ones lolol) And I return the support (which means sometimes I have to go see a chick flick). Life is about balance and perspective. Learn to give as well as take, and how to know yourself through your eyes and others through theirs.

Ok I've gone opn too long already.. But usually I have an hour to do these brief theraphy sessions

Ok doctor, give dez his laptop back now. His hour is up!

Just kiddin' dez. You make some good points.

Oh, about the helpin' hand thing. Sure I'd let the busa sit if someone needed me for something, but dude, I'm puttin' the stand down first! LOL

 

[BulletTrain]

And I'm called "Dr. Phil"?!  

 

[PACIFICBUSA]

So what about this, guys and gals:

The wifey loves to ride, but still limits MY riding time considerably...we had one disagreement over it already. She tells me she cares about me and worries when I'm off riding, but after the recent incident, it's like my riding time is nil. I guess I can sorta see where she's coming from, but I have told her several times (in subtle ways) that if she takes riding away from me, I would be miserable.

I'm tussling with the idea to either let her go or to compromise (even more) with her. I used to ride the shizz-nazz outta that bike. How much? My island is only 33 miles long and 26 miles at it's widest point. In two weeks, I put about 600 miles on her. On top of that, the busa is not my primary means of transportation. I know that 600 miles is nothing compared to you guys over there, but considering how small the island is, I think that's a pretty considerable amount of mileage.

So anyways, I ride the friggin' hoo-ha outta my baby...getting to know her and appreciate her a whole lot more. The wifey seems to be disagreeing with it. I know she's just concerned, but damnit! I'm startin' to get miserable...'cause I'm giving up something and she's not filling in the gap. It's like "you're not going riding...for a while" - and I'm like "ok...so what the FRICK do I do the mean time since you're not spending more time with me?" Am I just supposed to take this shafting and smile? Or do I turn around and shaft her right back? She means the world to me (I think), but this bike has been a dream of mine for a while. I'm wondering if I should let her go and just ride the pain away...or if I should hang on and hope for a change of heart (although something tells me it's unlikely). I can be a very stubborn person, but on the other side of the coin, I can also give until there's nothing left...provided that my partner can compensate for what they're taking away from me. Do I sound unreasonable?

As for the original question...if it was the old me, I'm with Ninja Eater all the way: frick her and the sickly horse she rode in on. My life is too short to make sacrifices for people who don't understand me...and I have less tolerance and even less time for people who don't understand me and try and dictate what I do in MY life.

What say you, guys and gals? Anyone wanna play Dr. Phil with PB?

 

[MAVER1CK]

man... if the woman cant understand the fact your a damn Busa nut.. then she needs to go.....

My bike stays over any woman.

 

[MET]

So what about this, guys and gals:

The wifey loves to ride, but still limits MY riding time considerably...we had one disagreement over it already. She tells me she cares about me and worries when I'm off riding, but after the recent incident, it's like my riding time is nil. I guess I can sorta see where she's coming from, but I have told her several times (in subtle ways) that if she takes riding away from me, I would be miserable.

I'm tussling with the idea to either let her go or to compromise (even more) with her. I used to ride the shizz-nazz outta that bike. How much? My island is only 33 miles long and 26 miles at it's widest point. In two weeks, I put about 600 miles on her. On top of that, the busa is not my primary means of transportation. I know that 600 miles is nothing compared to you guys over there, but considering how small the island is, I think that's a pretty considerable amount of mileage.

So anyways, I ride the friggin' hoo-ha outta my baby...getting to know her and appreciate her a whole lot more. The wifey seems to be disagreeing with it. I know she's just concerned, but damnit! I'm startin' to get miserable...'cause I'm giving up something and she's not filling in the gap. It's like "you're not going riding...for a while"  -  and I'm like "ok...so what the FRICK do I do the mean time since you're not spending more time with me?" Am I just supposed to take this shafting and smile? Or do I turn around and shaft her right back? She means the world to me (I think), but this bike has been a dream of mine for a while. I'm wondering if I should let her go and just ride the pain away...or if I should hang on and hope for a change of heart (although something tells me it's unlikely). I can be a very stubborn person, but on the other side of the coin, I can also give until there's nothing left...provided that my partner can compensate for what they're taking away from me. Do I sound unreasonable?

As for the original question...if it was the old me, I'm with Ninja Eater all the way: frick her and the sickly horse she rode in on. My life is too short to make sacrifices for people who don't understand me...and I have less tolerance and even less time for people who don't understand me and try and dictate what I do in MY life.

What say you, guys and gals? Anyone wanna play Dr. Phil with PB?

First question is there kids involved at home. That changes perspectives for some.

You can never over look concern. Sometimes the biggest reason for Girl friends, boy friends , spouses etc. not wanting you to ride is they worry. Keep a cell phone with you on all rides. Call on long days. Call just to see how they are doing. That will help. Set the ground rules. Chores and things come first.

When ther done and the weather is nice say good-bye. You need to work out schedules that work for both of you, but you do not need someone to tell you what you can or can't do. No relationship works for long if either party dictates what each other can do. You are individuals and need to do what you want and when you want to do it. Like wise for the partner. When they want to travel or do something don't expect to hear No I won't go if you do not want me to.

Set up a calendar and carve out your time, so there is no confusion ahead of time.

 

[PACIFICBUSA]

NE, no kids at home. She says she trusts me when I ride, but she doesn't trust the other drivers out there. I always carry my cell phone with me, but that doesn't seem to help. I just really wish we could have something worked out that satisfies the both of us. I WILL NOT stand for "you can't go riding anymore"...it's over if she tries to pull that on me. On the other side of that coin, I also don't want to over-look concern coming from a good woman.

Calling all Dr. Phils...paging all Dr. Phils!!

 

[Max Speed]

Im not going to sound like a scratched record here but I know Im lucky. Yep my wife ordered my Busa for me the story has been posted here before. My wife rides a 2000 Bandit 1200S and loves bikes and fast cars. When you are as lucky as me and you see some of you out there wishing for what I have it makes me stop and think all over again. I hope that one day all of you can be blessed with a woman that loves the smell of race gas, fast cars and bikes... A beautiful woman that rides is a rare and special gift.

 

[Max Speed]

The only thing I need right now is spring time.....

 

[MAVER1CK]

Im not going to sound like a scratched record here but I know Im lucky.  Yep my wife ordered my Busa for me the story has been posted here before.  My wife rides a 2000 Bandit 1200S and loves bikes and fast cars. When you are as lucky as me and you see some of you out there wishing for what I have it makes me stop and think all over again.  I hope that one day all of you can be blessed with a woman that loves the smell of race gas, fast cars and bikes... A beautiful woman that rides is a  rare and special gift.

You are very lucky... i hope you tell your self how lucky you are every night when you get to sleep next to a pretty woman who likes bikes!

I also agree, its Rare to find a beautiful woman who rides.

 

[scaredsilly]

hmmmm, i think the question needs some clarification....:: ...when i questioned "busa fever" i believe i was casually mentioning how biker dudes (gangs) drove Harley's mostly...that the Harley seemed like a MAN's bike and the busa seemed....well....like a Girly bike.(busareena being a good name for his bike (kinda like ballerina-all pretty and prim)

Now before you all come looking for me....I am packing and the moving company is on the way...i have left the country ...ehehheeh...

I was just teasing Can Busa. HONESTLY

 

[HP Junkie]

pacbusa, everyone needs a relese (mine is riding),and i also know a good woman is hard to find. while looking at this post i asked my wife if it bothered her i rode, she paused and said "no, i just dont like it when you ride a lot" i think the idea is comprimise.i will never stop riding until i decide to,i also would never stop her completely from doing something she takes seriously.moderation seems to work in my family. so i dont ride all the time, but i have 3 kids also.
oh but about mods i keep those on the down low, pay cash hide recipts. ok i just regressed, back to therepy.

 

[mctrull]

My busa is my sanity. When I need to get away, I escape in my helmet and turn the throttle. Since the accident I have lost my solitude and I have to say," I am going fuggin crazy!". I have to have time away, time to be me alone without restriction. If the person I am with cannot accept that then they are not with me anymore. That is just me, it should not apply to everyone. I have never had a girl that rides her own, I may feel differently if I did.

 

[busa1300nut]

I think sometimes a man needs to ask himself, do I wear the pants, or does my wife,(girlfreind), wear the pants. I,m one of the lucky few who,s girlfreinds rides her own bike, but she doesn,t ride as often I do.When I want to ride and she dosn,t, there is only one word for me to say,LATER! But she knew when she met me that riding my busa was my therapy, so it,s not a problem. I think that a person that loves to ride, should be able to ride, and if he or she doesn,t get to because of their better half, it will cause problems, sooner or later.

 

[VaBusa]

Wow...didn't realize this was such an issue with some of you guys...

My experience has been this...my husband always talked about getting a bike...this from a guy that always had some toy or another...jet skis, boats, jeeps, '65 Mustang...it became old habit for me to just say "do you really need anything else?"...I do know that when he went out on the ski, that was his "down time" and it made a world of difference in his mood...I worried about him out there alone, but he always came home in much better spirits than when he'd left...

I do have a point, hang on...

So, years pass between us and he starts talking about a motorcycle...I'd always loved the idea of riding a bike, but I assumed I'd never even be able to...what started out as yet another toy for him turned in to me insisting that if he buys one Harley, he's buying two because I was tired of him having all of the "alone time" and "down time"...I had no idea how to start a bike, balance it, operate it, but here I was, picking out my color of choice and before I knew it, I was a Harley owner...over a year passed from the time I bought that bike until I finally started to ride (factor in a surprise pregnancy and some hard lessons in how not to ride). During that time, I was so jealous of him, heading out to ride with friends or alone...he was getting that down time again, and I needed to be a part of it...

Now, 3 years later and I'm a Busa owner...bottom line for me, and this is only me so I don't know that it would help you guys with your ladies, is that I needed to be a part of it all somehow...I needed something to call my own as well...he rides, I want to ride...he gets to take long trips with friends, I want to do the same...doesn't always work out that way with kids, but we're both a part of a group of people that chooses to spend disposable income on the sport of biking...if you can't get your wife/gf to learn to ride on her own, it surely would be nice if she became a part of the biker scene, so to speak...take her on a trip...get her to ride with you...if that's completely out of the question, then give her time to do something all her own...if she's tied up all day with kids, work, bills and laundry, and you're out riding every spare second of the day, it'll just tick her off and create resentment...resentment is a relationship killer...

I feel that every single person needs to have something they call their own...if you and your spouse happen to enjoy the same things, it makes things easier...if that's not the case, work on letting her know how important riding is to you, but take time to include her in your life as well, and allow her the time and space to entertain herself in her own way...it's a bargaining chip...she wants a night out with the gals, you get to ride...if the road only goes one way, you both lose...

Can't say that insisting someone not ride is acceptable under any circumstances...that's just too overbearing and parental...

 

[mctrull]

I like having a female friend passenger at times but, I believe in her going and doing her thing and me doing mine sometimes. I always encourage getting out, making friends, have fun. I do not want to be with someone whose existence hinges on being involved in everything I do. I want someone to share the fun times with and spend time with but, do not make that your life. Don't make it an either/or situation. Do your thing together and do your things apart but, be willing to do both.

 

[scaredsilly]

he just better not complain when i ask to take bike out...that's all. It's kinda like the guy who wanted to watch his wife get it on with another women...then his wife left him for the other womam....be careful what you wish for they say.