Well put... My sentiments exactly!
girl friends and "busas don,t mix
- Thread starter Can busa
- Start date
God it hurts my eyes to try and read that light text on that light background... I'm goin' to bed now... I have a headache!he just better not complain when i ask to take bike out...that's all. It's kinda like the guy who wanted to watch his wife get it on with another women...then his wife left him for the other womam....be careful what you wish for they say.
scaredsilly
Registered
<span style='color:chocolate'>sorry bullet train...it was an eye test to see if you were gettin enough busa ---seems you're are</span></span>
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Ok Va and BulletT I'm gonna work out a group plan for you and wave my normal feeOk doctor, give dez his laptop back now. His hour is up!I don't recommend the tatoo then someone else might want to ride
Don't sweat it, one thing I've learned doing marriage and pre-marital counseling if she's really sweating you about the bike there's really only 2 issues to look at
1) You really aren't spending enough time with her, which means she probably doesn't mean as much to you as you would like to believe. (more infatuation than love)
2) She has some personal issues and if you didn't have the bike she would be sweating you about something else ( personal insecurities, abandonment issues, etc)
Now as in most situation you could "mediate" or "compromise". We all love our busas, but we have to keep things in perspectives. I doubt any of us would truely sacrifice or endanger someone we really love or a relationship we really care about for a bike of any kind. But the issue is not getting rid of the bike but limiting the time we ride to accommodate the needs of others. What if it was your child's first play or a family member needed your assistance in an emergency. The general caring nature I've seen reflected on this site by many indicates that we would drop the bike before we had a chance to put the kickstand down to help another in need. So the real question is are you Committed to making the relationship work and do you believe the woman is a worthy investmentOnce you answer those questions you'll know be in a better position to determine which of the two, the bike or the woman, you desire most. And how much time each gets based on their priority in YOUR life.
As for how do I handle it personally, I'm fortunate my wife loves riding with me when she wants to and encourages me to ride when she doesn't. WHY because she knows its important to me and she supports me and my habits (well at least the good ones lolol) And I return the support (which means sometimes I have to go see a chick flick). Life is about balance and perspective. Learn to give as well as take, and how to know yourself through your eyes and others through theirs.
Ok I've gone opn too long already.. But usually I have an hour to do these brief theraphy sessions
Just kiddin' dez. You make some good points.
Oh, about the helpin' hand thing. Sure I'd let the busa sit if someone needed me for something, but dude, I'm puttin' the stand down first! LOL
Waaaayyyy too hard on the lady there BT. Hold your horses for a moment. It just sounds like a simple case of misplaced insecurity, that's all. I mean, I wouldn't go as far as calling what she did dishonest. Hell, she was reluctant to admit that she was feeling this way to you. Maybe actually a compliment for ya dude. Whether it was misplaced insecurity or distrust, only she knows what's going on in that head of hers. Now I don't want to get flamed for my comments, but you did air your dirty laundry. I was just helpin' get the stains out...Man, does this strike a nerve.
The girl I'm seeing said from the beginning that she'd never ride a bike. She said she is VERY scared of them. I teased her about it but she stood firm. She said she would NOT ride. So, rule #1 was born... I won't ask her again to ride, she will never ask me not to. And so it was...
Then, about a week ago she brings up riding. She says that she has decided she wants to try it. The way it was brought up and several other cues set off red flags. So, I ask why the sudden change of heart. She says it's because she sees how passionate I am about riding and some other made up reasons... My years of LE training and experience in detecting deception tells me she's not bein' honest about it, so I push it. I tell her that I don't believe that's why she wants to try it and again ask what brought this decision about.
Anyway, after I refused to believe the made up story and fake reasons she gave me I told her that she ain't ridin' until she tells me the real reason for wanting to do so. She finally admitted to lying about the reasons and says that she and a female co-worker/friend of hers was talkin' about me riding and the fact that she would not ride. Seems the friend made a comment about me dumpin' her for a "biker chick", or someone who would ride if I enjoyed it that much.
Besides bein' pissed about bein' lied to, I don't play the game of actin' like you're somethin' you're not to win somebody over. Again, those years of LE have taught me that this never works in the long run. You can keep up the show long enough to hook someone into marriage, but that's when it all changes and people start to revert back to their true self. That's a leading cause of most domestics I've worked over the years. I wish I had a nickle for each time I've heard "You weren't like this before we got married!" screamed across a room. Could get that big bore kit and turbo that I so badly want.
So, after she admitted that this was the case, I told her she won't be riding with me. To hell with it. I'd rather she be true to herself and not ride than to try and do it just because I enjoy it. I ain't goin' down that road. Seen way too many times where it goes. This is exactly why I'm still single... Haven't found a girl that is willing to be herself despite what I like. They all want to try and be what I want instead of what they are. GEEESH!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashin' the ladies because it's not just chicks. From what I've seen at work, most dudes are just as retarded. Oh well... Job security I guess. Hehehehehehehe...
And now back to the regularly scheduled program.
Brian
Hi! This is UUBusa's Gf....and this is my baby on his Busa...she was definatly born to ride!I have to sneak in rides...if I wanna get some alone time. She's totally into it and wants to start racing myyyy bike..eeerrrrr I can't complain though, I love having her with me as much as possible. She's been looking at 600's for a few weeks, up until she seen Michelle's pic with her busa, luckily she understands the starter bike concept.
Very true, very true. I think that I am more to blame than I implied in my first post. But she has her issues as well. The bike was just the target. And heck we both have tattoos so that would be interesting but I would rather she not get it in all seriousness. Her ass is too nice as it is (smile). I might try to talk to her this week and make amends. She might tell me to jump in a lake though.I don't recommend the tatoo then someone else might want to ride
Don't sweat it, one thing I've learned doing marriage and pre-marital counseling if she's really sweating you about the bike there's really only 2 issues to look at
1) You really aren't spending enough time with her, which means she probably doesn't mean as much to you as you would like to believe. (more infatuation than love)
2) She has some personal issues and if you didn't have the bike she would be sweating you about something else ( personal insecurities, abandonment issues, etc)
Now as in most situation you could "mediate" or "compromise". We all love our busas, but we have to keep things in perspectives. I doubt any of us would truely sacrifice or endanger someone we really love or a relationship we really care about for a bike of any kind. But the issue is not getting rid of the bike but limiting the time we ride to accommodate the needs of others. What if it was your child's first play or a family member needed your assistance in an emergency. The general caring nature I've seen reflected on this site by many indicates that we would drop the bike before we had a chance to put the kickstand down to help another in need. So the real question is are you Committed to making the relationship work and do you believe the woman is a worthy investmentOnce you answer those questions you'll know be in a better position to determine which of the two, the bike or the woman, you desire most. And how much time each gets based on their priority in YOUR life.
As for how do I handle it personally, I'm fortunate my wife loves riding with me when she wants to and encourages me to ride when she doesn't. WHY because she knows its important to me and she supports me and my habits (well at least the good ones lolol) And I return the support (which means sometimes I have to go see a chick flick). Life is about balance and perspective. Learn to give as well as take, and how to know yourself through your eyes and others through theirs.
Ok I've gone opn too long already.. But usually I have an hour to do these brief theraphy sessions
Hmmmmm.
Good luck with that EAKbusa! The lake I mean...
...kidding...kidding...
Point is from day one, I made it clear that I ride, I love to ride and will continue riding until I no Longer feel the Urge. It's freaking critical that you be yourself when dealing with women, especially a possible wife. Be yourself, maybe don't fart in front of her for a couple years but otherwise be who you are and encourage her to be who she is. Then look at her first thing in the morning or right when she gets out of the shower, is she Hot? Do you get that funny feeling? Does she let you sleep in on Sunday cause that is what you like to do? Does she let you go out with the buddies once in awhile? Does she leave the top sheet and blankets untucked on your side of the bed because she knows your feet get hot? Yes? Great, she's a keeper!
There is no need to be living miserable though, life is to short. Fix what needs fixed, do whatever it takes to make certain you can go home in the evenings and have a good night. Is it kind of a selfish thing I am preaching...well no. If you are unhappy in a relationship your partner knows, guaranteed, how do you think that feels, it's not good for anyone, especially kids to be brought up in a house full of ill will and unpleasantness. So fix what has to be fixed and move on.
I listen to some of my buddies talking about trying to get away on a Sunday to go to a Bike show, all the hoops and BS they have to go through, it's just not worth it. Fetch your pants back out of her closet put em on and go do what makes you happy. (Just be certain she's also allowed to go do what she wants!) I see more miserable bastards here in the office as well. They stay much later than they need to just so they do not have to go home and deal with the wife... can you imagine the horror? Not being able to go home because the person you swore the rest of your life to is there... Fugging creepy.
When I go for a ride nowadays 8 years later, I say "Going for a ride" she says "Do you have your Phone?" I say "Yup" we do that kissey kissey thing and I suit up and go. Does she worry just a little? Yeah, but that is where the phone comes in, if I end up at a buddies house (Usually) and I have been gone for longer than normal (1-2 hours) I call, let her know what I am doing, she's happy, I'm happy. It's just the polite thing to do...
Not trying to be all "My relationship is good" Yadda Yadda... I am just saying that being right out there and upfront has helped a lot in my relationship over the years.
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Maybe I am a little hard nosed when it comes to dishonesty. Just how I am... Even so, a lie is dishonesty at it's best... or worst... however you look at it. A lie is a lie, no matter why it was told. Not sayin' that anyone who lies should be shot or anything. Just sayin' that I won't live with someone who feels the need to make up sheeyot instead of tellin' me what's really goin' on. It's head games and I refuse to play...Waaaayyyy too hard on the lady there BT. Hold your horses for a moment. It just sounds like a simple case of misplaced insecurity, that's all. I mean, I wouldn't go as far as calling what she did dishonest. Hell, she was reluctant to admit that she was feeling this way to you. Maybe actually a compliment for ya dude. Whether it was misplaced insecurity or distrust, only she knows what's going on in that head of hers. Now I don't want to get flamed for my comments, but you did air your dirty laundry. I was just helpin' get the stains out...
Brian
Oh, and I like the stains in my laundry. Gives character!
Well said... but God are my eyes numb now... Yet another 76,800 character reply from the Revster...I think a lot of these issues have developed because folks have not been open from the beginning. When I met my wife I had the old 750, she rode with me all over creation because in College the thing was my only transportation for awhile. So, if you want to go on a date either you drive your car or you rode with me. Jen had a car and thought being on the bike was scary, scary=bad. So I met resistance...Buh Bye! My wife on the other hand would grab her little red helmet and leather and be waiting for me to hurry the hell up. Sweepers at 120-130 good fun, flying from Ft. Collins to Denver frequently in rush hour cool, if it rained we got wet, if it was hot we got hot. She never complained, nagged, or sulked. I thought, hmmm she might be a keeper... <----WTF?
Point is from day one, I made it clear that I ride, I love to ride and will continue riding until I no Longer feel the Urge. It's freaking critical that you be yourself when dealing with women, especially a possible wife. Be yourself, maybe don't fart in front of her for a couple years but otherwise be who you are and encourage her to be who she is. Then look at her first thing in the morning or right when she gets out of the shower, is she Hot? Do you get that funny feeling? Does she let you sleep in on Sunday cause that is what you like to do? Does she let you go out with the buddies once in awhile? Does she leave the top sheet and blankets untucked on your side of the bed because she knows your feet get hot? Yes? Great, she's a keeper!
There is no need to be living miserable though, life is to short. Fix what needs fixed, do whatever it takes to make certain you can go home in the evenings and have a good night. Is it kind of a selfish thing I am preaching...well no. If you are unhappy in a relationship your partner knows, guaranteed, how do you think that feels, it's not good for anyone, especially kids to be brought up in a house full of ill will and unpleasantness. So fix what has to be fixed and move on.DIVORCE sooner rather than later, work out what you can and if it is still broken, divorce while you are both on reasonable speaking terms, NOT once there is adultery involved and feelings get hurt...thats when things get expensive.
I listen to some of my buddies talking about trying to get away on a Sunday to go to a Bike show, all the hoops and BS they have to go through, it's just not worth it. Fetch your pants back out of her closet put em on and go do what makes you happy. (Just be certain she's also allowed to go do what she wants!) I see more miserable bastards here in the office as well. They stay much later than they need to just so they do not have to go home and deal with the wife... can you imagine the horror? Not being able to go home because the person you swore the rest of your life to is there... Fugging creepy.
When I go for a ride nowadays 8 years later, I say "Going for a ride" she says "Do you have your Phone?" I say "Yup" we do that kissey kissey thing and I suit up and go. Does she worry just a little? Yeah, but that is where the phone comes in, if I end up at a buddies house (Usually) and I have been gone for longer than normal (1-2 hours) I call, let her know what I am doing, she's happy, I'm happy. It's just the polite thing to do...
Not trying to be all "My relationship is good" Yadda Yadda... I am just saying that being right out there and upfront has helped a lot in my relationship over the years.
For the record, I think Rev has the best points made in this entire post. Just thought I would say that. Thanks for the advice.
I actually am starting to feel like a real heel about my situation. I really loved my girlfriend and she was hot and all but she also drove me crazy half the time and was very controlling at times. Now I have "rebelled" against her by ignoring her, or so she says. Well long stort short, she's gone. Maybe it's for the better, maybe not. You gotta communicate, that is the key.
I actually am starting to feel like a real heel about my situation. I really loved my girlfriend and she was hot and all but she also drove me crazy half the time and was very controlling at times. Now I have "rebelled" against her by ignoring her, or so she says. Well long stort short, she's gone. Maybe it's for the better, maybe not. You gotta communicate, that is the key.
You know I love ya man. You're just fun to hack on is all.
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