GRANDPA stkr00
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Okay...I'm updating this topic due to some things that have happened surrounding the birth of my grandson.
If you read back through the previous posts/replies/links here, you'll get an idea of the adventure that this has been.
We decidied to let Nick stay at our house so that he could get his life in order and hopefully become a better person/father for his child. He was staying in the basement with a bedroom setup, and the duaghter was upstairs in her own room. It was shakey at first, but then he did actually get a job and seemed to be trying. He was helping with Austin while the daughter was at work. He changed him, fed him, and bathed him. Everything "appeared" to be going well, but then there were a few nights where he would be out with his friends, and then call really late to say that he had no ride home. This gave him the opportunity to stay out all night since he knew that the daughter wouldn't go pick him up, and he still doesn't have a driver's license.
We had set rules for him to be in our house. One of the BIG ones was that there was to be absolutely no drugs brought into our house. We knew we couldn't control what he did outside of the house, but we told him that due to our professions, we could not afford to have any trace of residue on anything we owned since I am subject to search every day that I go to work. This includes the use of K-9 units.
The last time he stayed out all night, I decided that he was probably getting back into the drug scene with his old friends, and I decided to search his room in the basement. This is when I found quite a few pieces of drug paraphernalia hidden in various places. Things such as ashtrays with roaches, single hit pipe, exhalation tube (TP tube with dryer sheets in it) to cover up the exhaled smoke, and a few other things. I went and woke the daughter up and told her to get Nick on the phone. She tried, but he never answered.
The wife and I talked about it, and decided to give him a chance at cleaning himself up. Mainly because we didn't want our daughter to run away with him and take our grandson. He would have to volunteer for urinalisys testing if he agreed to stay. Otherwise...he was going to be out on his azz.
When he came home from work that night, January 16th, and we confronted him with it, he went ballistic. I had told him that he either needs to clean up his act or get the F out. He chose to leave and that's when he started going off. He went down to the basement to pack up his things...mouthing off the whole time.
When the wife went down to the basement and tried to get him to calm down, she touched his arm and he threatened her about not ever touching him (I can't repeat what he said). I heard this come from the basement while I was upstairs.
This was the point where I thought my life was going to change forever. I withdrew my .45 from its hiding place, and proceeded to the basement to diffuse the situation. My daughter saw me coming with the weapon and freaked out, then Nick saw the weapon, and made the wise choice to grab his bags of clothes and vacate the house. I honestly thought he would try to confront me and I would end up in jail for murder.
Of course the police showed up about 45 minutes later. After getting both sides, they decided not to write a citation, since I never "pointed/aimed" the weapon at him. My past training with the Marine Cadres while in the Navy helped me to use the correct terminology and phrases so that the LEO's were on my side. Thank You to the Corps
The wife and I have talked to an attorney about filing for custody of out Grandson now, due to everything that has happened. We're not sure how this will all turn out, but the child's welfare is what's most important. The bad part is that the Attorney's retainer fee is $5000. That only covers the first 25 hours of his work, then it's $200/hour after that. End result will have a court ordered paternity test, and possible felony charges against him since she was only 16 years old. He will also be legally responsible for maintenance/support until the child is 18. Due to WI laws, he could not be listed on the birth certificate because they were not married from conception to birth. He has no parental rights to his child unless he files for paternity.
Since all of this happened back in mid January, the daughter has been doing a lot of thinking, and finally decided this past weekend that they needed to break up. She told him that he needs to get his life together before he can be a father to their child. He moved back in with his loser mother, and is now asking about seeing his son after not seeing him for about 2 weeks. I think it's his mommy talking just like before.
We finally told the daughter about how we were ready to file for custody yesterday. She said..."I'm not worried, we'll win" meaning our family would win. Then we had to explain that if "WE" filed (me/wife), it would mean that both of them would lose their parental rights to her child...not just Nick, and that she would actually have to take us to court later on in order to regain custody. This is when she finally realized how serious we are about our grandson's welfare.
Hopefully, things will calm down now. She knows that as long as she is going to school and working, she will have all the support she needs to raise her child as a single parent. It's rough on all of us, but we know that it's the best thing for our grandson.
Sorry for being so long winded, but if you don't get the whole story, then it makes no sense.
If you read back through the previous posts/replies/links here, you'll get an idea of the adventure that this has been.
We decidied to let Nick stay at our house so that he could get his life in order and hopefully become a better person/father for his child. He was staying in the basement with a bedroom setup, and the duaghter was upstairs in her own room. It was shakey at first, but then he did actually get a job and seemed to be trying. He was helping with Austin while the daughter was at work. He changed him, fed him, and bathed him. Everything "appeared" to be going well, but then there were a few nights where he would be out with his friends, and then call really late to say that he had no ride home. This gave him the opportunity to stay out all night since he knew that the daughter wouldn't go pick him up, and he still doesn't have a driver's license.
We had set rules for him to be in our house. One of the BIG ones was that there was to be absolutely no drugs brought into our house. We knew we couldn't control what he did outside of the house, but we told him that due to our professions, we could not afford to have any trace of residue on anything we owned since I am subject to search every day that I go to work. This includes the use of K-9 units.
The last time he stayed out all night, I decided that he was probably getting back into the drug scene with his old friends, and I decided to search his room in the basement. This is when I found quite a few pieces of drug paraphernalia hidden in various places. Things such as ashtrays with roaches, single hit pipe, exhalation tube (TP tube with dryer sheets in it) to cover up the exhaled smoke, and a few other things. I went and woke the daughter up and told her to get Nick on the phone. She tried, but he never answered.
The wife and I talked about it, and decided to give him a chance at cleaning himself up. Mainly because we didn't want our daughter to run away with him and take our grandson. He would have to volunteer for urinalisys testing if he agreed to stay. Otherwise...he was going to be out on his azz.
When he came home from work that night, January 16th, and we confronted him with it, he went ballistic. I had told him that he either needs to clean up his act or get the F out. He chose to leave and that's when he started going off. He went down to the basement to pack up his things...mouthing off the whole time.
When the wife went down to the basement and tried to get him to calm down, she touched his arm and he threatened her about not ever touching him (I can't repeat what he said). I heard this come from the basement while I was upstairs.
This was the point where I thought my life was going to change forever. I withdrew my .45 from its hiding place, and proceeded to the basement to diffuse the situation. My daughter saw me coming with the weapon and freaked out, then Nick saw the weapon, and made the wise choice to grab his bags of clothes and vacate the house. I honestly thought he would try to confront me and I would end up in jail for murder.
Of course the police showed up about 45 minutes later. After getting both sides, they decided not to write a citation, since I never "pointed/aimed" the weapon at him. My past training with the Marine Cadres while in the Navy helped me to use the correct terminology and phrases so that the LEO's were on my side. Thank You to the Corps
The wife and I have talked to an attorney about filing for custody of out Grandson now, due to everything that has happened. We're not sure how this will all turn out, but the child's welfare is what's most important. The bad part is that the Attorney's retainer fee is $5000. That only covers the first 25 hours of his work, then it's $200/hour after that. End result will have a court ordered paternity test, and possible felony charges against him since she was only 16 years old. He will also be legally responsible for maintenance/support until the child is 18. Due to WI laws, he could not be listed on the birth certificate because they were not married from conception to birth. He has no parental rights to his child unless he files for paternity.
Since all of this happened back in mid January, the daughter has been doing a lot of thinking, and finally decided this past weekend that they needed to break up. She told him that he needs to get his life together before he can be a father to their child. He moved back in with his loser mother, and is now asking about seeing his son after not seeing him for about 2 weeks. I think it's his mommy talking just like before.
We finally told the daughter about how we were ready to file for custody yesterday. She said..."I'm not worried, we'll win" meaning our family would win. Then we had to explain that if "WE" filed (me/wife), it would mean that both of them would lose their parental rights to her child...not just Nick, and that she would actually have to take us to court later on in order to regain custody. This is when she finally realized how serious we are about our grandson's welfare.
Hopefully, things will calm down now. She knows that as long as she is going to school and working, she will have all the support she needs to raise her child as a single parent. It's rough on all of us, but we know that it's the best thing for our grandson.
Sorry for being so long winded, but if you don't get the whole story, then it makes no sense.
Good grief Jim
You've had a lot going on since your grandson was born...problem with situations like is that you're dealing with children. Not to down your daughter because I'm hoping that she sees the light and realizes just how much a negative situation can affect a child. In the end I hope she'll understand what you and your wife are undertaking and thank you in the end...as for the ex-boyfriend - guys like that don't generally just grow up and take responsibility for their lives. You'll see him years from now, doing the same sh*t and blaming his pathetic life on everyone else. It's a sad fact, but he'll likely never understand what being a "Dad" really is and it's always a damn shame that they don't think about things like "responsibility" in the heat of the moment.
It's better to get all of this straight now and keep him from the baby just to avoid problems down the road...
Great restraint, by the way...I don't know if I could have done it...I'd be in jail...
I wish you the best in getting custody too; wouldn't think it would be too difficult given all of the circumstances. You two definitely do have your grandson's best interests in mind...and remember, you won't be the first doing this.
You've had a lot going on since your grandson was born...problem with situations like is that you're dealing with children. Not to down your daughter because I'm hoping that she sees the light and realizes just how much a negative situation can affect a child. In the end I hope she'll understand what you and your wife are undertaking and thank you in the end...as for the ex-boyfriend - guys like that don't generally just grow up and take responsibility for their lives. You'll see him years from now, doing the same sh*t and blaming his pathetic life on everyone else. It's a sad fact, but he'll likely never understand what being a "Dad" really is and it's always a damn shame that they don't think about things like "responsibility" in the heat of the moment.
Great restraint, by the way...I don't know if I could have done it...I'd be in jail...
I wish you the best in getting custody too; wouldn't think it would be too difficult given all of the circumstances. You two definitely do have your grandson's best interests in mind...and remember, you won't be the first doing this.
Thanks
Hopefully, we can avoid spending the $5K for the attorney, but if things take a turn for the worse, then it's "Game On". I'm just afraid his mom is going to keep pushing him about it, and he's going to end up with a LOT more problems that bargained for. At a minimum, he'll have 18 years of court ordered support payments which he has no way of paying, so he'll spend some quality time in jail for failure to pay. Not that it would break my heart to see him rotting in jail for being a deadbeat dad though.
The grandson is doing fine. He is already up to 14 pounds after only 2 months. He is actually starting to sleep through the night now which is a blessing.
Hopefully, we can avoid spending the $5K for the attorney, but if things take a turn for the worse, then it's "Game On". I'm just afraid his mom is going to keep pushing him about it, and he's going to end up with a LOT more problems that bargained for. At a minimum, he'll have 18 years of court ordered support payments which he has no way of paying, so he'll spend some quality time in jail for failure to pay. Not that it would break my heart to see him rotting in jail for being a deadbeat dad though.
The grandson is doing fine. He is already up to 14 pounds after only 2 months. He is actually starting to sleep through the night now which is a blessing.
I'll take some tonight and post a couple up.Any recent pictures of little Austin?
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